


Out of his league

by orphan_account



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Bullying, Drinking, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Jealous Mickey, M/M, Prom, Sexual Content, Shotgunning, Sibling Bonding, Softdrugs, Underage Drinking, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-01
Updated: 2014-12-01
Packaged: 2018-02-11 09:04:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 47,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2062152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ian Gallagher is the quarterback, he’s hot, he’s popular and his girlfriend is unbearable. He’s also totally out of Mickey’s league and straight. </p><p>Or at least that’s what Mickey thinks..</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not American and I know nothing about high schools or anything, this fic is based on all the high school cliches from movies.

It was the first day of school and there was a late summer heat wave going through Chicago. Cheerleaders were in their uniforms with their short skirts and cropped tops. Other girls were wearing almostnothing which probably was against the school rules. Some guys even had the weird idea to wear swim trunks and tank tops to school.

Mandy was wearing shorts that were barely hiding her ass, and a loose top with flowers she had leant from Robyn, her best friend. Overall, every one still oozed summer.

Right before the first bells rang, two of Mandy’s other friends, Kelly and Amy joined them. They were cheerleaders too. Kelly was dating the center Brad and Amy was still single, much to Mickey’s surprise because she really had a nice look and she was popular.

Mickey and Robyn were the only seniors in their little group and they were taking a couple of classes together. He liked Robyn, because she didn’t talk that much, but she still had a good sense of humor. She also didn’t care about fashion and make-up, or how her nails had to be polished a different color every day. She was smart and mature and she had the same interests as him. They didn’t talk a lot, but they got along with each other pretty good, they knew they had this special non-spoken-of friendship going on.

They walked to their calculus class together, talking about their summer and it just felt natural to talk to her.

The morning classes went by fast. There were introductions and a short review of what the year would look like, along with pamphlets for colleges and universities around the country – which was a little early to Mickey since, well the year hadn’t even started yet.

♦♦♦

At lunch, the cafetaria looked like it had every previous year. It looked like the set of fucking glee. The tables looked like they were ranked. You had the nerdy guys, in the far left corner, already studying ahead of their semester. In the middle of the cafetaria, were the popular kids. They were laughing and talking loudly. Of course their table was filled with couples who were eating more of each other than their actual food – which by the way was disgusting and should be illegal in public schools.

The quarterback and his girlfriend were in the middle of the table. He couldn’t believe that the quarterback was a junior. He was way too tall for his age; he was muscled, but not as muscled as his teammates. His hair was fiery red and his face was covered in golden freckles. He knew his name was Ian, and he was surprised that a guy like him could make the team. He wasn’t a rich kid like any of them, he wasn’t an only child living in a fancy house and driving to school in a shiny car. He was a Southsider, living only two blocks away from Mickey.

Mickey didn’t really understand all those ginger jokes on Facebook either, because that guy was probably one of the hottest guys he’d ever seen. Yes, Mickey was gay. Nobody knew except for his sister and maybe Robyn – she might have figured it out because of Mandy – and nobody had to know. There were still people who knew about his family and who were connected to his brothers, he couldn't take that risk.

His table wasn’t really any sort of category. Kelly was dating a football player; she could easily sit with the popular kids. But she didn’t because she had been friends with Amy, Robyn and Mandy since kindergarten. There were also a couple of other guys joining them. They didn’t talk a lot, they were quiet and relaxed. That’s the only reason why Mickey agreed to have them at the table in the first place.

After lunch, they went back to the bleachers like they always did. Kelly and Amy would practice with their squad and Mandy and Robyn would gossip about the football team, who were getting into shape again for the new season. Mickey would just sit on the highest bench, doodling in this little notebook he always carried with him, sometimes writing things down. Thoughts, ideas, and dreams he remembered. Everything was put down it his little notebook. It kept him busy and sane because he knew that those pages wouldn’t judge him when he had a bad day.

When the break was over, Mickey went to his locker to dump his bag. He only took his geography book, notebook and pen with him. He shut his locker and walked to his classroom, but right when he turned around the corner, he bumped into Ian and dropped his things.

“Mind where you’re going fuckhead,” he rolled his eyes as he got his stuff from the ground.

“What did you call him?” it was Max, the wide receiver of the football team and Ian’s best friend.

“It’s alright Max,” Ian was about to walk on but Max stopped him.

“You’re not going to kick his ass? I can do it for you.”

“Why?” Ian asked.

“You don’t let people talk to you like that,” he stated. Ian rolled his eyes.

“It’s fine, let’s go,” and with that, Ian was gone, giving Mickey one last – very unreadable - look.

“Weird,” Mickey mumbled to himself as he walked back to his class.

♦♦♦

When school was over, Mandy was waiting at his locker to go home together. She was chewing her gum excessively and playing with her dark hair. He dumped his books into his locker and followed her outside. Ian and his friends were hanging out at the benches, surrounded by a group of cheerleaders. The head cheerleader was sitting on Ian’s lap, she was beautiful. Her hair was long and dark, her skin was like porcelain and her eyes were a greyish blue. He knew her, what was her name? Vicky? Vanessa? Maybe Victoria, yes that’s it. Victoria.

Mandy came to a stop next to the group to say goodbye to her friends. Mickey couldn’t help but stand there awkwardly behind her, waiting for her to finally stop fucking talking. He might feel a little intimidated, Max was looking at him like he wanted to tear him to pieces, and Ian was smiling. He had a smug grin on his face that Mickey would really enjoy knocking off of him.

“Mandy,” he was more than annoyed and Mandy turned around. “Fucking fine, see you girls,” she waved at the group and left, running after Mickey who was taking off already.

“What’s gotten you so worked up?”

Mickey shrugged.

“Alright don’t fucking tell me, what else is new.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not American and I know nothing about high schools or anything, this fic is based on all the high school cliches from movies.

The next weeks were going by normally – or just as normal as they could go, it’s still high school for fucks sake.

Senior year meant a lot more work than he had the previous years. Mickey might have never been the perfect student, but sometimes he actually did something for his classes. He even found himself in the library multiple times a week, reading some books for his assignments.

Mickey was on his way to put one of the books he’d taken back into the shelf, face still buried in another book, when he walked into Ian _again_. Even though Mickey knew that this one was on him, he still got angry. He was about to yell when Ian placed his finger against his _very_ pink lips, warning Mickey to shut up and pointing at the sign that read ‘ _Library, silence please’_.

“I think you might need fucking glasses, Gallagher,” Mickey grumbled and Ian raised an eyebrow. His hair was styled way too well for him to have done it himself, Mickey was sure Victoria had done it right before school or something . His blueish green eyes were standing out with his red hair and his eyelashes were long, shadowing over his pink cheeks. Light golden freckles were spread all over his face. God he was perfect.

“Me? I think you need a chair to sit on while you read, Milkovich.”

“You know my name?”

“Not that hard right? Your sister? She’s kind of hanging out with our group?”

“Your group, huh?” he walked by and pushed him softly into his shoulder.

“How did you know mine?”

Mickey’s eyebrows shot into his hairline and he gave Ian the ‘ _are you fucking serious’_ look.

“You’re the quarterback, everyone talks about you. You’re also one of Frank’s horde of kids and you might have been my sister’s biggest crush in middle school.”

An Asian girl came around the bookshelves with an angry face, holding a finger to her pursed lips and shushing them. When she realized she was shushing Mickey Milkovich, she turned white and ran away.

“You have quite the effect on people,” Ian grinned.

“Guess so.” End of conversation. Mickey grabbed another book and his backpack and walked out of the library. Not even realizing he left his notebook on the table.

♦♦♦

The rest of the morning went slow. Slower than normal. Mickey found himself constantly thinking about Ian and it annoyed him, he told himself to get it together as he walked to his class, totally ignoring Ian whenever he passed by. He didn’t even know why, not like Ian would watch him anyway.

At lunchtime, Mickey went back to the bleachers. Amy and Mandy were already on top, watching the other girls and the football team practice.

When Mickey got to the top row, he saw Ian and Victoria on the side of the field. She was looking angry and yelling; Ian was surprisingly relaxed and calm. It all changed it under a minute because suddenly, the girl was kissing him and he was kissing back, holding onto her cheek. Mickey wanted to puke.

He opened the lunch bag Mandy had made him and ate it without complaining about it being too healthy. The girls were gossiping as usual and he was relaxing on the bench, totally _not_ following Ian all over the field.

When he got bored of watching them running in circles, he grabbed his bag and fished for his notebook, which to his surprise wasn’t there.

“Mandy did you take my notebook?”

“No, I like my hands very much, I don’t want them chopped off,” she was wiggling her fingers showing him her new nail polish.

“It’s gone!”

“Relax, maybe it’s in your locker or at home,” she rolled her eyes as she got back to talking to Amy. Mickey was in panic, he had to find it. He jumped up and ran down, two steps at a time. He set a quick pace to the hallways of the school, noticing that Ian was looking his way for a few seconds.

The notebook wasn’t in his locker, and he knew he’d taken it with him this morning. Mickey felt sick and stupid. Sick, because that thing was practically full of every weakness and thought of Mickey written inside the many, many pages. Stupid, because he clung onto it like a koala baby to its mother and he felt like knocking his head into the locker at the thought of losing it.

When he walked back outside, he was angry at every person walking in his way, pushing kids out of his way and kicking into lockers. Nobody could find that thing, he’d rather fucking die.

When the lessons started again, all concentration that Mickey had was gone; he could only think of the little book and was retracing his steps and actions of the day. He remembered putting it in his backpack and going to school with it, he’d been reading in the library and went to his classes. Maybe he left it in one of the classrooms?

When the last school bell rang and everyone was gone, he walked back to his classes from that morning to find them either closed or open but with absolutely no notebook in sight. He gave up after half an hour and decided to go home, maybe he was wrong, and maybe it was at home?

Half the football team was still hanging out in front of the school with their girlfriends and laughing and joking, sometimes passing the ball to each other and making fun of people passing by. Ian was in the middle of the bench with Victoria on his lap, who was wearing his jacket. Mickey didn’t exactly know how he was feeling about that, but he knew that it was wrong to feel anything at all.

He passed them without even giving them one look and when he thought he came out safe and walked on, he heard someone call his name. He didn’t turn around, didn’t feel like hearing their jokes and ignored it.

Suddenly, someone was grabbing onto his wrist and Mickey went in defense mode, turning his arm and blocking the guy’s arm. When he turned around he looked into the big, blue-green eyes he knew _oh so well_.

“Gallagher.”

“It’s Ian actually.”

“I seriously couldn’t care less,” _smooth._

“I, uh, I found this,” he pushed the small notebook into Mickey’s hand and Mickey felt himself flush.

“You found it or you took it?”

“Found,” Ian stated defensively.

“I bet you had your fun with it, huh?” Mickey pulled the small book out of his hand and opened his backpack to throw it in with the rest of his books.

“I didn’t read it if that’s what you mean,” Ian said, a little taken aback that Mickey would think about him like that.

“Why not, a lot of people would.”

“I don’t care, it’s none of my business, and I wouldn’t like someone nosing in my stuff either. It fell out of your bag in the library, you were too fast and I had practice, so I planned on giving it back after school.”

“Sure, whatever, thanks.” Mickey turned to walk away and when he looked back, Ian was already sitting back next to an annoyed Victoria and Max.

It felt like his life was over. He didn’t trust Ian one bit, he was almost sure that Ian had read the stuff he wrote in it. Who in hell wouldn’t? Mickey came home and kicked the door shut, going straight for his room.

“Mick!” he rolled his eyes and turned towards Mandy. Kelly was sitting on the couch watching the TV.

“What?”

“Did you find it?” of course she would ask him, she knew how important it was to him. He was glad that she actually cared, but he was in a crappy mood so it would be better to just leave it.

“Yeah, someone found it for me, I’m gonna crash,” he shut the door before she could answer. He took the notebook out of his backpack and threw it on the bed. His backpack was thrown behind his door.

On the inside of the cover, there was a sticky note he’d never seen before.

_I promise I didn’t read it_

_-Ian_

Mickey huffed; he decided to just stop caring about it and lay down onto his bed, staring at the ceiling until he finally fell asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

It was almost Halloween and the school was overly decorated as always, fake cobwebs hung to the ceilings and pumpkin garlands were trailing through the hallways. Mickey had mostly tried to ignore Ian for the last month and a half.

Even though he succeeded most of the times, he found that Ian was constantly looking at him. Or at least, whenever Mickey looked his way, Ian was staring back. Mickey figured he was just looking at Mandy that was always with him.

Mickey was daydreaming as he stared at Ian’s table when he was suddenly awoken my Robyn’s hand on his. He jumped and pulled away out of reflex. She raised one eyebrow and looked at him questioningly.

“ _What_?” his voice wasn’t meant to come out that harsh.

“Are you coming to the Halloween party?”

“What Halloween party?”

Both Robyn and Mandy sighed and rolled their eyes. “Did you seriously not hear _anything_ we just said?”

“Yeah I did, I know it’s this weekend,” he tried.

Robyn sighed, “of course it’s this weekend, it’s on Halloween fucker. It’s at Max’s house; his parents are out of town and there’s gonna be a lot of booze.”

She played the alcohol-card, she knew Mickey too well. He couldn’t stand Max at all though and vice versa.

“Max can’t stand me, what makes you think I’m invited?”

“He said anyone could come and you know what, I don’t even know why I’m asking, you’re going! I don’t care if you want to or not.”

He chose not to answer that, maybe it would be good for him to go out once. If not, he’d be getting high with Iggy and Joey and watching lame movies and he didn’t feel like that either.

“Maybe you’ll finally meet a girl,” Kelly threw in. Both Mandy and Robyn laughed and Mickey joined them. Kelly and Amy looked a little confused.

“Yeah, maybe,” Mickey grabbed his trash and strolled out of the lunchroom. He walked to the bleachers and sat on his usual space on top, lighting a cigarette and watching the football field. He watched the guys get onto the field in their uniforms and helmets in their hands. Ian was the last one to come out and looked straight into the bleachers. When he saw Mickey, he smiled and then looked away and didn’t look up again until the training was over.

When Mickey came home that night, Mandy was already there, occupied with her laptop.

“Ian is coming over for dinner, is that alright?” well, hello to you too sister.

“Ian? Ian Gallagher?”

“Yes.”

“Quarterback Ian is coming over?”

“Yes, Mickey.”

“Why?”

“We have a history assignment together, so I invited him for dinner and then afterwards I could work on it with him, so is there gonna be enough dinner?”

“There will be if you go to the store.”

Mandy sighed and took her bag and keys before leaving to go to the store.

So while he had the house to himself, Mickey decided to take a shower and jerk himself off without worrying whoever might barge in. Everything went as usual, until he suddenly started thinking about Ian coming over tonight.

Then he just started thinking about Ian.

He was stroking himself, leaning with one hand against the wall and his head hung low with his eyes closed. He saw Ian’s face, his pink lips smiling whenever Mickey watched him. He thought about Ian’s muscle toned body. He thought about when Ian handed him the book back, he remembered that he was shocked by how long this guy’s fingers were. Oh, those fingers. He thought about was Ian could do with fingers like those and that just drove Mickey over the edge, coming with a loud groan, come shooting on the tiles.

He couldn’t believe he had just jerked off thinking about Ian, let alone coming at the thought of Ian’s fingers. He felt awkward, really. When he was dressed and back onto the couch, Mandy barged in with a big bag of groceries.

“I’m gonna make mom’s spaghetti, can you help me with the sauce?”

Halfway through the preparations Mandy’s phone rang and she picked up. She didn’t say much and only answered with yes or no, the conversation came to an end quickly and she dropped her phone onto the counter.

“Dad’s getting out,” she sighed.

The rest of the cooking went by quietly, the phone call had definitely been a mood killer and they were more annoyed than anything else. It was around six when Ian arrived, looking as perfect as ever. He was wearing dark jeans with a white shirt and his plaid shirt was unbuttoned.

“Hi there,” he smiled. Mickey took a step back so Ian could walk in. He wasn’t surprised that Ian wasn’t looking weird at the mess inside, he was a Gallagher, and he knew how houses on the Southside looked like.

“What, no Vanessa?”

“It’s Victoria,” Ian said bitterly.

“Don’t care.”

Ian rolled his eyes and walked towards the kitchen to meet Mandy. They were in there talking while Mickey was sitting on the couch, watching some lame soap opera.

Dinner went by normally, Mandy and Ian were constantly talking and Mickey was watching the TV from the table. “What’s your history project about?” Mickey asked when they were quiet for ten seconds.

“World war one,” Ian answered.

Mickey decided that he didn’t care about it at all and left to his room as soon as he was done eating. Two hours later, he was sick of listening to the two of them laugh and have fun. He walked out of his room and grabbed his jacket.

“You going somewhere?” Mandy raised her eyebrows.

“Out,” he burped.

“Gross Mick, where are you going?”

“I’m not telling you, have fun looking up Tommy’s,” he shut the door and leaned against it. Where was he going? He didn’t even know, but as long as it was far away from Ian’s voice.

He started walking and found himself at the dugouts after about half an hour. He must have smoked about five cigarettes in a row and his throat started to ache. He hated these feelings; sure, he knew he was gay. But it’s never been more than just a quick fuck with strangers, which maybe had happened three times before. He never thought he’d feel attracted to some guy, let alone one that was totally out of his league – which let be honest, everyone was – Mickey thought.

The only way Mickey knew how to deal with his feelings was writing it in his small notebook. He was almost near the end and he knew he had to start a new one soon. It used to be white pages, but from all the cigarette smoke, the pages had turned a tint op yellow. The cover was brown leather and there even was a button on it which really helped keeping the loose papers and small notes inside. 

He ended up sitting at the dugouts until 1am before he decided to go home again. It was a school night after all. Mandy was still awake when he came home. She jumped off the couch and kicked him on his chest.

“I was fucking worried dickhead, ever heard of a phone!”

“Why are you still up?”

“I just told you, I was worried,” she rolled her eyes.

“Well I’m home so get some sleep.”

“You’re not gonna ask about Ian?”

“What should I ask about Gallagher?”

“I don’t know, maybe if he said something about you?”

“Did he?” Mickey felt something weird in his stomach at the thought of Ian talking about him.

“No.” _Bitch._

“Then I won’t ask about him, goodnight Mands,” he shut his bedroom door in her face and pulled off all his clothes until he only had his boxers left. He didn’t even notice he was that tired, it took him only two minutes to fall asleep.

♦♦♦

It was Saturday and all the girls were at the Milkovich house getting ready. Mickey didn’t understand why it had to be there, because all of them had big houses with big, fancy walk in dressing rooms on the Northside, they would have more fun getting ready in a big fancy bathroom than in this dump, right?

All four of them had taken a ‘sexy’ Halloween outfit, wearing short dresses with fishnet tights and cleavage. Mandy was a nurse, Amy was a devil, Kelly was an angel and Robyn was a police woman. Mickey was forced to put on the vampire cloak Mandy had bought him and she drew fake blood lines in the corners of his mouth, down to his chin with red lipstick.

Mickey felt fucking stupid, to put it mildly. But knowing that half the school will be there dressed up even worse was slightly comforting.

When they arrived, the house was full of people already. Mickey was right, their costumes were ten times worse than his. One guy was wrapped up in toilet paper and it was just laughable. He notices Ian immediately. He was a fireman. Next to him was Victoria, wearing a butterfly costume with big fake wings and extreme high heels, making her almost as tall as Ian.  Her long hair was curled and her makeup was bright and visible from far away. She looked like a fucking Barbie doll.

Everything went fine until a little after midnight. Mickey was bored to death and still not drunk. Everyone and everything annoyed him so went outside to the garden. It was extremely big and almost looked like a fucking park, there were benches around a small pond at the end of the garden and Mickey sat onto one of them, watching the koi fishes swim around in the lit up pond. 

He took one of the joints he had brought and lit it up, checking if no one was walking towards him. It was safe, everyone was in the house, and even the lights upstairs were on with silhouettes moving behind the curtains and Mickey didn’t even want to know what went on behind them. He was halfway through his joint when suddenly someone dropped down next to him.

“Can I?” it was Ian; he was smiling at the surprised reaction Mickey had given him.

“No.”

“Why not?”

“How old are you? 15?”

“I’m 17 thank you very much, and aren’t you too?”

“I’m 18, and give a guy a warning next time, almost pissed my pants.” Ian grinned.

“Where’s your wasp?”

“She’s a butterfly and she’s inside. Why are you always talking about her like that?”

“Don’t know what you mean.”

He handed the joint to Ian to shut him up and Ian took it with a smug look on his face, looking very pleased with himself.  Mickey was surprised that he inhaled normally; secretly expecting him to cough or make a fool of himself, Ian clearly was a smoker.

“She’s not that bad of a person? She’s sweet once you get to know her.”

“Do you believe what you’re sayin’?” Ian smiled.

“Yes, it just takes a while before she acts nice, but when she does, she’s really sweet.”

“I don’t care about your girlfriend, man.”

Ian stopped talking and they ended up smoking another joint together. They didn’t talk at all but it didn’t feel awkward. The joints made them both sleepy and relaxed.

“I don’t understand one thing though,” Mickey started after the long silence.

“What?” Ian’s voice sounded a little different, deeper.

“You’re a Southsider, you don’t have that much money at all, you smoke, you drink and do soft drugs, so how the hell are you on the football team and dating the hottest chick in school?”

Ian just smiled and nodded.

“Guess I’m lucky,” he looked at Mickey.

“Guess you are.”

They were staring into each other’s eyes for at least a minute when suddenly a very angry butterfly stumbled into the garden. “Ian!”

“What the hell are you doing here; you’ve been gone for almost an hour.”

“I was gone for less than half an hour, relax” Ian got up and walked towards the drunken girl.

“You smell like a weed plantation!” she said when she wrapped her arms around his shoulder and kissed him, tip toeing whilst doing so.

Mickey huffed and rolled his eyes as he sat back up.

“What’s so funny Michaël?”

“My name is not Michaël, Vicky.” He bit back.

“Yeah sure, I heard you’re Russian so what else would it be?”

“I’m Ukrainian.” She eyed him angrily and crossed her arms, if her eyes would be bullets now, Mickey would be dead.

Ian turned her around, “I’ll see you around Mickey.” He wrapped his arms around Victoria’s waist and pushed her through the garden. Mickey heard them bickering until they were inside. “She’s quite alright my ass,” he mumbled to himself and shook his head.


	4. Chapter 4

Since the party, Victoria had been extremely possessive of Ian. Whenever he’d look away for more than one minute, she’d turn his face and kiss him again. She did it a lot when Ian was on the football field and looking into the bleachers. Then she’d just run onto the field and jump Ian. It was disgusting and Mickey hated it, as well did the football coach to be honest.

Ian would be coming by their house regularly during the next week for his history project with Mandy. First, he sat with Mickey on the couch and they watched TV together when Mandy made dinner. Then they ate and then Mandy and Ian worked on their project, leaving Mickey alone in his room. It went like that the entire week, except for Friday.

They were all sitting on the couch when Ian and Mandy were done with the project when Terry burst in. To no one’s surprise, he was drunk and dirty. He smelled like he hadn’t been washed in weeks and looked tired. He ignored everyone and walked straight to his room, grumbling something unintelligible.

“You should leave,” Mickey said harshly, it was probably the first thing Mickey had said to Ian all evening.

“ _Mick_!”

“No he’s right, it’s getting late and Victoria is coming over,” Ian didn’t look happy, he looked kind of disappointed actually.

Mickey didn’t say anything and left to his room, followed by an angry Mandy.

“What’s your problem?”

“Our house, our problems. Gallaghers don’t need to know anything about what happens in this house.”

Mandy was startled, “you’re fucking unbelievable; no wonder you have no fucking friends.”

Maybe she was right; he knew he had trust issues. But what happens in his house stays in there, he doesn’t need a Gallagher nosing around. He got out of his clothes and into his bed in less than one minute and stared at the ceiling. He didn’t really know how he was feeling. He was angry, mostly at himself, for being like that towards Ian. He was also angry that his dad was back, because he didn’t know what to expect from that. His anger only got worse knowing that Victoria maybe was with Ian right now.

So Mickey did what he usually did, he wrote everything down.

♦♦♦

Mandy didn’t feel like spending the whole weekend inside and practically dragged Mickey outside on Saturday. They were going to the dugouts, where Kelly and Amy were already waiting for them. Some guys of the football team were hanging out there and Mickey was surprised to see Ian without Victoria for once.

Mickey knew perfectly well why Mandy took him here; they both had the exact same reason. Being away from Terry. It was only a matter of time before he’d be back in jail, so until then, they just had to keep distance from their house for a while. It’s not the first time that had happened.

His mind was drifting away and before he knew it, it was afternoon and the girls were on the other side of the field talking to the guys. When Mickey looked up, Ian was standing in front of him, hand reaching out for Mickey’s cigarette.

“You alright?”

“You care?” he handed Ian the cigarette.

“I’m not allowed to?”

“Where’s Vicky?”  Ian rolled his eyes.

“I’m not even answering that, if you’re gonna be a dick I might as well leave.”

Mickey waved his hands towards the open field as to say he had every right to go if he wanted to. He didn’t.

“I don’t know what happened last night but you can tell me alright? Only if you need to, I’m not the one to judge, I’m a Gallagher for Christ sake, I’m not telling anyone.”

“I’ll keep that in mind thanks.”

“Mandy asked if I wanted to come watch a movie tonight, I wanted to make sure if you’d be okay with that though,” his voice was a little insecure.

“Sure, but watch out for your girlfriend, she might get jealous of you spending time with Mands.”

“She doesn’t need to know, and she’s out of town so I don’t see how she could find out.”

“Guess I’ll see you tonight then.”

Mickey stood up and walked out of the dugouts and into the streets. It was starting to cool down with the late fall weather and his hands and feet were freezing when he got home. Terry wasn’t home, Iggy was asleep on the couch though, but he was too far gone to hear anything, really. The kitchen was a mess, but not to Mickey’s surprise.

When Terry was gone, Mandy and Mickey had tried to keep it tidy – or as tidy as the Milkovich house ever could be – but that was all gone now.

Beer cans were scattered around, along with trash and there was dirt of shoes on the floor. Bloody fingerprints were printed into the kitchen table and there were even bloody tissues on the counter. It was disgusting; Mickey tried to toss them all without really touching them, trying to get the house tolerable for outsiders to come. With outsiders he meant Ian of course.

When Ian finally arrived, he was holding four movies and a six-pack of beer.

“No way, Double Impact?”

“Yeah, ‘cause that’s some Van double Damn!”

Mickey huffed out a laugh and shook his head as he stepped aside to let Ian in.

Mandy had watched the first twenty minutes with them but she absolutely hated it. She called Amy to go out and left only ten minutes later with a bag of clothes, three pairs of high heels and makeup.

They were watching the second movie when Terry came home. He grumbled something unintelligible and stumbled to his room, just like he had the last time. Ian didn’t look at him and Mickey was grateful for that, because Ian was right, he wouldn’t judge Mickey.

♦♦♦

Mickey woke up at 3am. The TV was still on as well as the lights behind him. When Mickey felt something move under him he jumped up. Ian was sleeping on the couch; there was a small wet stain on his shoulder from where Mickey had been drooling.

Ian had something angelic going on. He looked so innocent in his sleep, with his mouth opened slightly and strands of hair falling in different directions.

Mickey raised his hand to Ian’s head and ran his fingers through his hair, brushing a lost strand behind his ear. Ian shifted and Mickey pulled away. What in fucking hell was he even doing?

Ian had to leave.

He grabbed Ian’s shoulder and shook it slightly. When Ian didn’t react, he tightened his grip and shook harder until he was awake.

“Yeah, okay I got it,” Ian mumbled, starting to blink his eyes.

“It’s three in the morning, you have to go man,” Ian’s eyes opened immediately to check his phone and he jumped up.

“Fuck I have 23 missed calls, I’ll see you alright?” Mickey couldn’t answer because suddenly, Ian was gone.

He went to bed but he couldn’t sleep anymore. He sent Mandy a text asking if she’d sleep at Amy’s, so he’d know she’d be safe and then tried to close his eyes. She sent back ten minutes later, telling him she wouldn’t sleep at home and he wouldn’t have to stay up. The next time he checked his clock, it was 5am already and he figured that he wouldn’t catch any sleep at all.

He felt stupid, at first. What the hell was going through his mind when he touched Ian like that? What was that stupid feeling in his stomach when he saw Ian sleeping like that? From now on, he’d just ignore Ian, that’s it. That way, he couldn’t fall any deeper.


	5. Chapter 5

Operation ignore Ian didn’t go as well as Mickey had hoped. In school, Ian stared at him even more than he did before. After school, he’d hang out at their house even though their history project was done already. Mickey knew Mandy did it on purpose; she knew there was something weird going on, even more so when Mickey had asked her if she couldn’t just hang out at his place.

Eventually she did, and then she got all hot and heavy with Ian’s brother, much to Mickey’s despise. But anything was better than seeing Ian on his couch every day.

One week before thanksgiving, Terry was arrested again. He was caught on the beginning of his run with a trunk full of coke. Mickey and Mandy had cleaned the house again and changed the locks, which made them feel a little more secure in their own house, for if they’d release Terry earlier again.

The next day, when he had a free hour, he sat in the library. He was reading history books again because he seriously wanted to get through this year and sometimes noted things in his notebook. He was working until suddenly, someone dropped a backpack next to him and sat on the empty seat, but when Mickey was about to react, there was a hand covering his mouth. He turned around to see Ian smirking at him. With a loud smack, he slapped Ian’s arm away, “the fuck Gallagher?”

“So Mandy told me your dad’s in the can again, I kinda asked her what you were doing next week and she said you guys had no plans,” he ignored Mickey’s annoyance.

“Plans for what?”

“Thanksgiving, in what year are you living? Maybe you should slow down with the history books.”

“So what?”

Ian was sitting too close for Mickey’s liking. He could smell him; he could smell the expensive perfume on his jacket. Which was probably a gift from Vicky or whatever? Mickey huffed.

“So come celebrate with us!” Ian offered and Mickey snorted.

“Yeah, well not gonna happen. Mandy will love to though, should ask her.”

Ian rolled his eyes. “You’re serious? What are you going to do? Sit at home and get drunk.”

“Well fuck Gallagher, that’s none of your fucking business. Although getting high seemed like a better idea to me.” With that, Mickey closed his books, threw his backpack over his shoulder and left the library.

♦♦♦

Mickey was sticking to his words and didn’t go to the Gallaghers. Mandy did go though, mostly for Lip, and Mickey wouldn’t say it, but he was kind of sad that his sister wasn’t home with him. His brothers had vanished since last week which meant he was all alone on thanksgiving.

 But with nothing to do and being bored to death, Mickey kept finding himself thinking about Ian.

He stood up and put on his jacket, heading towards the L.

He ended up at the other side of town, nervously lighting a cigarette and smoking three in a row. He knew where he was going; he just didn’t like walking there because he felt like people would know. Like they would watch him.

He ended up at one of the regular clubs he visited and hung out at the bar. With his fake ID he bought himself a couple of Jack’s until he was feeling more relaxed and then jumped off the stool and walked into the crowd.

It didn’t take long before some guy was grinding behind Mickey and grabbing his arm to lead him to the back. There was no talking and no names, just like Mickey wanted.

 They were in a dark alley and the guy pushed Mickey against the dirty brick wall. His face got closer and Mickey put his hand on the man’s lips and pushed him away.

“No kissing,” he said and the guy seemed to agree. He had to be in his mid-twenties, he wasn’t that much taller than Mickey, his hair was dark brown and his skin was tanned. The guy sunk to his knees and opened the fly of Mickey’s pants. Mickey wasn’t even fully hard yet, but when the guy went to work, that quickly changed. 

It wasn’t perfect, he had better to be honest but the guy knew what he was doing. Sometimes Mickey would groan softly when the guy sucked the head of his cock. After a while it just got too slow for his liking, he grabbed the guy’s head and started thrusting, fucking into his mouth until he came. Mickey hadn’t even noticed that the guy was jacking himself off, but he came at the same time and they both groaned.

“That was awesome,” the man grinned as he stood back up and buttoned his pants.

Mickey shrugged and pulled his pants back on. “Sure, whatever,” he pulled the hood of his jacket over his head and walked away, back towards the L. He had hoped to feel better, but he didn’t. He wasn’t nearly as satisfied as he hoped he would be and he somehow was still thinking about Ian.

He had to admit it to himself, that maybe; just maybe, he might have actual feelings for Ian.

When he came back home, he hopped into the shower and stayed under the satisfying hot stream until it ran cold.

He was tired and fell asleep almost as soon as he hit the mattress. Just to be woken up the next morning by Mandy shoving French bread in his face.

“Mandy what the fuck,” he grumbled, checking the clock, 1PM.

“They insisted on me taking some leftovers because they knew Terry wouldn’t be here. I got a lot of good food and new movies so wake up grumpy!” she was overly happy and excited.

“You slept there last night?”

“Yes, the house was filled. Victoria stayed over too, and Veronica and Kev, their neighbors were way too drunk to even move next door. Pretty full house over there.”

Mickey felt his stomach turn at the thought of Victoria staying over there, but tried to forget about it when he saw the French bread and leftover stuffed turkey. He almost ate everything Mandy had brought like he hadn’t eaten in weeks.

“What did you do last night?”

“Nothing.”

“Mick, I came home to change last night after getting wine all over me, you weren’t here.”

“I was out.”

“Out where?”

“Mandy,” he looked at her in annoyance, rolling his eyes and sighed.

“I was at a club but it was boring so I came home again, then I showered and I went to bed, s’all.”

She didn’t ask more questions, knowing what kind of answers to expect from him and ignored him for the rest of the day. They watched Avatar and 21 jump street, ate more leftovers, drank beer and smoked together. It was nice, just like old times.

At school, things were starting to get weird. They were spending more time with Ian’s group; they were even sitting next to their table at lunch now. Victoria and Max were constantly looking angry at Mickey, he understood though, he himself, had no idea what he was doing at their table.

During lunch breaks, he still sat on the bleachers with the girls. Sometimes he was writing, sometimes he was reading and other times just watching football practice – or he was mostly watching the quarterback practice.  

When he would bump into Ian in the hallways, he’d look down and walk away. When he saw Ian looking at him, he looked away and acted like he was busy.

One day, Ian was waiting at his locker and before Mickey could turn around and walk away, Ian called his name. _Shit_. He walked towards his locker and opened it nonchalantly, throwing his books in it and taking his notebook out. It was thick and stuffed with loose papers and letters; he had about ten pages left before it was full.

“What do you want?” Mickey sighed after a while.

“I wanted to ask you something.” Ian answered.

“You ask a lot you know that?”

“Yeah well, actually it’s not really a question; you’re having Christmas dinner at my house.”

Mickey’s eyes widened and he stared at Ian with his eyebrows raised, “I’m what?”

“Yeah well, Mandy is at ours a lot these days because of Lip, and Fiona asked if she’d spend Christmas with us, to which Mandy said she couldn’t because you would be alone and she wanted to spend Christmas with you and then Fiona said that she’s a part of the family now and she had to come and she also said that she’d be happy to meet you and you were welcome to celebrate with us.”

Ian took a small breath from all the talking and stared back at Mickey. _God_ this kid talked a lot.

“No.” Mickey shut his locker with a loud bang.

“You kinda have to, and it’ll be fun, what’s wrong with some fun?”

“I don’t see the fun in spending Christmas Eve with a family I don’t know, surrounded by couples I can’t see.”

“If you’re talking about Victoria, she won’t be there, she spends Christmas at hers,” Ian stated.

“I’m not talking about Victoria and you,” _yes he was_ , “I meant Mandy and Lip, I don’t feel like seeing my sister throwing herself at your brother.”

“Just come alright, it won’t hurt you and if you don’t like it, you leave.”

Ian didn’t even give Mickey a chance to answer, he turned around and walked away, looking way too pleased with himself.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God I love this chapter, even though I wrote it myself.

Mandy was wearing a short scarlet dress, with silver diamonds at the sides and the right amount of cleavage. Her hair was curled and she looked stunning, too pretty for a regular Christmas dinner on the Southside. Mickey was wearing dark jeans and a black striped dress shirt. His hair was slicked back with gel and he actually looked pretty fucking good.

When they were in front of the Gallagher house, Mickey felt awkward. He didn’t really know them and they would probably know him as ‘thug Mickey Milkovich’ or something like that. Mandy on the other hand, ran up the stairs and entered the house like she lived there. Mickey awkwardly followed her inside.

The house was a typical Southside house. There was a lot of space and there were three different couches, but just like every house on their side of the city, there was a large flat screen TV, occupied by who Mickey thought to be Carl, playing CoD.

There was a big table in the center of the diner room, set with nice china and polished glasses. The house smelled like food, warmth and Christmas. That’s just it, this house smelled like Christmas. The same kind of Christmas Mickey and Mandy once had at their house, when their mother was still alive and their house wasn’t a junkyard.

“Hi, Mickey!” Fiona came out of the kitchen with a towel hanging over her shoulder. Her hair was in a ponytail with loose strands falling next to her face. She was wearing a black, laced dress and an apron.

“Hey, um, thank you for inviting me,” Mickey was uncomfortable; Carl and Debbie were staring at him from the couches, and Lip was giving him a small nod from the kitchen. He knew Lip; he bought his best weed from Lip for years.

“It’s Christmas, I wouldn’t have you stay alone at your own house,” Fiona said and she turned around to check the pot on the stove. When she opened the lid, the smell leaving it was amazing; it made Mickey’s mouth water.

Lip offered him a beer and they sat awkwardly on the couch, not talking at all, just watching Carl’s game on the screen. Mandy and Lip were indeed constantly touching and kissing each other and it annoyed the hell out of Mickey. He checked his phone every few minutes to check the clock and hoping for some distraction.

About half an hour later, Ian was finally walking down the stairs; he was wearing a dress shirt that was still open and showing his chest and stomach. Mickey couldn’t help but stare at the toned chest, covered in light freckles. Ian’s six pack wasn’t that visible, but it was _there_. There was a happy trail of red hair running into his pants and Mickey grinned at the thought. Of course the carpet matched the drapes. He fucking knew it.

“Hey,” Ian’s voice sounded different, but when he started blowing his nose, Mickey figured he probably had a cold.

Ian slapped Carl on his head and asked him to give them the controllers, which to Mickey’s surprise, Carl did. Ian then changed the game to two players and handed one controller to Mickey, touching his hand in the process and he lingered, staring into Mickey’s eyes for just one second too long.

When he turned and started the game, Mickey tried to shake it off. It was nothing, Ian was just being normal and he was reading into things. Yeah, that’s it, he’s just reading into them.

They played for almost half an hour and hadn’t noticed Veronica, Kev and their girls coming in. They also hadn’t noticed the beers on the table or the appetizers on the coffee table. They just kept on playing, their knees and shoulders touching and their eyes locked on the TV screen.

“Boys it’s Christmas Eve, please,” Fiona whined as she grabbed the remote and turned off the screen. Both boys rolled their eyes and put down the remotes to replace them by their – already lukewarm – beer.

“Oh hey Vee didn’t see you come in,” Ian said as Veronica sat down next to him, one of her twins on her leg. The girl was beautiful and looked a lot like Kev, except for the big, luscious lips and bronzed skin. Her hair was short and filled with big, black curls. She was wearing a cute Christmas dress and hat and in her hand she held a plastic candy cane.

“I know, you looked pretty busy,” Veronica answered as she pulled up one of the baby’s socks.

“Is this Gemma?” Ian opened his hands to grab the girl and Veronica happily handed her over.

“No this little thug is Amy, Kev is changing Gemma upstairs,” she grabbed a glass of the cheap champagne Fiona bought and took a sip.

“So who’s this?” Veronica asked, finally looking at Mickey.

“Oh yeah I’m sorry, this is Mickey Milkovich, he’s Mandy’s brother and a friend from school,” Ian  was pulling weird faces at Amy who was laughing loudly and drooling all over his shirt.

 _Friend from school?_ Mickey thought. They barely talked in school – well mostly because Mickey was either ignoring him or avoiding him – but the word ‘friend’ was new to him.

“Hi I’m Vee,” she smiled at him and Mickey was surprised that she was this friendly. Most people would look either shocked or annoyed but she just _smiled_ at him.

“Mickey,” he nodded in response.

Suddenly, the living room filled up and chairs were moving from one side of the room to the other. Mandy and Lip were constantly whispering and touching each other, laughing with each other’s stupid jokes and whatnot. Liam was playing with both Gemma and Amy in his little play corner and Fiona had now joined them in the living room with another bottle of champagne and pizza bagels, which practically lit up Mickey’s eyes when he saw them. Kev was sitting next to Ian and they had been talking a while but Mickey wasn’t even listening.

He was just looking around and trying to believe that he was really there. It felt like the old days, when they still celebrated Christmas at home with their mother and they still put up Christmas trees. The Gallagher house was decorated beautifully with the big Christmas tree and the beautiful Christmas ornaments hanging in it and the tinsel wrapped around it.

The candles all over the room made everything cozy and warm looking and there were socks hanging on the wall with the names of all the Gallagher children sewn onto them.

“The turkey is ready so it’s time to move to the table kids!” Fiona woke Mickey from his daydreaming.

Everyone jumped up and quickly took place at the table. They had placed the kitchen table and chairs next to it to make the table longer and Mickey sat between Ian and Debbie and opposite Mandy, who was staring at him and smiling. He hadn’t seen her this happy in months and he was really glad she had found someone she liked.

He was glad that she had found someone where she could feel happy with, and who she could come home to. He wanted that for her, but it also made him scared. Because it’s all going to happen eventually. One day she will get serious with someone, maybe move out and start a life away from their shitty childhood, and Mickey? Well Mickey will be left in their house, with their father and probably no chance to any happy future.

Or that’s what Mickey thinks will happen.

“Are you alright?” Ian suddenly asked out of nowhere. Mickey nodded and looked down at his plate that had been filled. When had his plate been filled? Anyway, it looked delicious. There were slices of stuffed turkey with gravy, sliced potatoes with some creamy sauce and cheese, green beans with bacon and god did it smell good.

“I’m yeah, it’s alright it’s just-,” Mickey looked up at Ian, “it’s perfect.”

Ian nodded and smiled before attacking his food and Mickey followed him. It was delicious, the stuffed turkey was delicious with the minced meat and pistachio nuts and he didn’t know what the hell these potatoes were but they had to be the best thing he’d ever eaten.

“This is amazing,” Mickey heard Mandy say and the whole table hummed in agreement.

Soon, all the plates were empty and the table was cleared. No one had any place left for dessert and they all sat in the couch afterwards, talking and laughing. When Mickey checked his clock a while later, it read 2am already and he was shocked. Time really does fly when you’re having fun. He hadn’t even noticed Fiona leaving to put the kids to bed either.

Around 2.30, Mandy and Lip left to Lip’s bedroom and Kev and Vee decided to go home too, promising to get the girls early in the morning, since they were sleeping so nicely in Liam’s park. That only left Fiona and Ian downstairs with Mickey.

“Well I’m going to call it a night too boys, are you staying the night Mickey?”

Mickey looked at Ian as if he could read the answer on his face and Ian nodded, “yeah you should stay.”

Fiona nodded in agreement and ran upstairs to come back two minutes later with blankets and a big pillow. She also brought one of Ian’s sweatpants and old shirts.

“Turn of the lights alright, ‘night,” she gave Ian a kiss on his head and walked back upstairs, they were silent until they heard her door close. Ian walked towards the kitchen and opened the back door.

“Come on, I’ve got something good outside.” Mickey followed.

When he closed the door behind him, Ian was already in the garden, walking towards the big old van that was parked in the middle of it. He opened the rusty doors and the sound hurt Mickey’s ears. He followed Ian inside the van and closed the door behind him.

In the back of the vehicle, there were blankets and pillows, big posters of celebrities and underwear models, empty cigarette boxes and a full bottle of scotch. There were also two little bags of weed and rolling paper on the front seat of the car.

“It’s good stuff, Lip bought it from his best dealer,” Ian explained as he grabbed the weed and another cigarette. While Ian was tearing up the cigarette, Mickey took the weed and crushed it. He then handed it to Ian who mixed it with the tobacco and rolled the joint, licking the paper way too seductively in Mickey’s opinion.

“Oh! Before I forget,” Ian leaned back to take something from the driver’s seat and he handed it to Mickey. It was a rectangular present, wrapped in nice wrapping paper with a big blue ribbon on top of it.

“No wait, we didn’t agree on this?” Mickey felt bad now, he hadn’t even thought about buying Ian anything. He had never in his life bought someone Christmas presents.

“I know, I didn’t want you to buy anything. I just thought you could use it so just take it,” Ian pushed the present towards Mickey’s chest. Mickey rolled his eyes and tore off the ribbon and the paper.

It was a notebook, a little bigger than the one he had now. The cover was brown leather and there was some sort of leather rope knotted around it. It was probably one of the most amazing things he’d ever gotten.

“Thanks man,” Ian was looking at him when he looked up and smiled, he then lit up the joint.

“You like it?”

“Yeah it’s perfect,” that was literally the only thing he could answer.

They smoked the joint together and shared the scotch until it was half empty. It was probably one of the best Christmases of Mickey’s life and he really didn’t want to go to sleep.

“Are you alright?” Ian asked again.

“You’re going to keep asking me that?”

“You’re hard to read sometimes,” Ian explained, Mickey frowned because Mandy always said he looked like an open book.

Mickey didn’t answer. Instead, he leaned back to lie down and stared at the ceiling of the car. There was something under his head and he grabbed it to lie better. It turned out to be a box of condoms and he immediately panicked and threw it towards the other end of the van.

“That’s disgusting, seriously,” he mumbled and Ian laughed.

“You ever did it in here?” Mickey only realized how stupid that sounded only after asking it, but Ian shook his head.

“No I haven’t,” he took place next to Mickey and lay down next to him.

“Nice to know,” Mickey said.

“What are you doing for new year’s eve?” Ian changed the subject.

“I don’t know, stay home I guess.”

“There’s a party at Tyler’s place, you should come,” Mickey knew Tyler, he was on the football team but he wasn’t as much as a dick as the others.

“Not promising anything,” because one, who would he go with? And two, he hated those kind of parties.

“You really have a problem with doing fun things, don’t you?”

“No I can do fun, I do have a problem with those stupid people you hang out with though.”

“They’re not the brightest or the friendliest but they’re not stupid, you don’t know them.”

“I don’t want to,” Mickey stated.

“I’m not telling you should, if you come you can just hang out with me too you know?”

“Yeah?” Mickey laughed and Ian frowned.

“Your girlfriend doesn’t like me being close to you remember, she looks like a fucking pit-bull guarding her property.”

“She’s not going to be there,” Ian sat up.

“No?”

“No,” Ian sighed, “can we please stop talking about my _girlfriend_?”

Mickey nodded and Ian smiled a little and grabbed the box of condoms at Mickey’s feet. He took one out of the package and opened it; Mickey just stared at him in confusion.

He never expected for Ian to start blowing it, really. Mickey started laughing and he was sure that’s what Ian was going for, because he smiled too. He let go of the condom and it flew away, getting rid of all the air and fell down onto the front seat.

“You’re stupid you know that,” Ian nodded and took another cigarette to rip apart. He rolled a second joint and lit it immediately, handing it to Mickey after taking a first puff.

“I always wanted to do a shotgun,” Ian said softly, as if he was just thinking aloud.

“Okay here, open your mouth,” Mickey inhaled as Ian lowered his jaw, watching Mickey’s lips around the joint before he closed the distance between them and blew into Ian’s mouth. Ian inhaled almost in shock, feeling the soft burn against the inside of his throat, the bitter aftertaste and the slow roll of smoke drifting around them in the van.

Ian coughed a little because it felt different than normal smoking, but it wasn’t too bad. Then Ian tipped his head back again, jutted his chin at the brunet and Mickey did it again.

It was quiet inside of the van, the soft noises from outside were completely muted and overcast by their breathing. Ian closed his eyes and Mickey could see him rolling his tongue around his mouth, getting more feel of the taste.

“Again?” Mickey asked and Ian snapped his eyes open but then nodded as he stared into Mickey’s eyes.

So Mickey did it all over again, but when he wanted to move away again, Ian got a hand around the back of his neck and pulled him in, kissing him sloppily.


	7. Chapter 7

Mickey made a surprised noise and then licked into Ian’s mouth immediately, crowding over him and spreading both his knees over Ian’s legs, straddling him. Ian clutched at Mickey’s shirt, pulled it up on the back and spread his hand out over the smooth skin of Mickey’s back. The smoke of the now extinguished joint curled around them and added to the heady feeling of the air around them.

The only sounds they could both hear that moment were their heavy breathing, their tongues sliding together and the soft moans escaping from both their lips. Mickey grabbed onto Ian’s shirt and pulled at the buttons, getting impatient when they didn’t open and Ian smiled and helped him.

Somehow they both got rid of each other’s shirts without even breaking their kiss and they smiled against each other’s lips. Mickey pushed down onto Ian’s groin and received a loud moan from the younger boy.

“Fuck that feels so good,” Ian sighed before biting Mickey’s swollen lips.

“Yeah?” Mickey breathed, starting to unbutton Ian’s pants and seriously, why would someone buy pants with _four_ buttons?

“Fuck yeah,” Ian moaned as Mickey did it again, but this time harder. He could feel their erections sliding together through the fabric of their pants and they both sighed. Mickey moved up again and focused on opening Ian’s pants when Ian grabbed his ass with both hands and pushed him even closer again.

Ian then moved his own hands to Mickey’s fly and opened it, he  pushed Mickey’s pants down his ass – or as far as his thighs allowed it given their position – and squeezed it firmly.

Mickey quickly grabbed Ian’s erection once he figured out how to open his pants and started to slowly jerk him off, just the way he did to himself. He started of slow, twisting his hand around Ian’s length and pulling softly, his thumb sliding over the head of Ian’s dick which earned him a loud moan from Ian.

Ian was way too deep in the pleasure Mickey was giving him and massaged Mickey’s ass as if his hands were made for it. Mickey jumped up in surprise when he could feel Ian’s fingers sliding  between his ass cheeks and he didn’t even notice that he’d stopped jacking Ian off.

“Feels good?” Ian asked a little insecure. Mickey nodded frantically.

“Yeah just like, use some spit or something,” Mickey said and what Ian did next almost made him come undone. Ian brought his index and middle fingers to his mouth and licked them so alluringly, it made Mickey’s head spin.

Mickey started to slowly pump Ian’s cock again as Ian repositioned his fingers against the cleft of Mickey’s ass, very slowly moving towards his hole and circling around it.

When Ian’s first finger pushed inside of him, Mickey pushed himself up and threw his head back. Ian was a whimpering mess under him and Mickey fastened his pace, as did Ian. He didn’t wait long to put in a second finger and make Mickey groan shamelessly. Ian’s fingers were buried deep inside of him and he had never been able to reach that deep with his own fingers.

Once Ian had found his prostate, everything went way too fast. They were sweating messes, the pace was extremely fast and their moans were even and loud, but they didn’t care at all. Ian came onto Mickey’s hand and on his own stomach in three hot strands and Mickey helped him ride it out.

Mickey’s orgasm followed him soon when Ian started pulling at Mickey’s cock too while still fingering him slow and deep. Ian kissed him again and swallowed all the brunet’s moans, he was pleasuring Mickey in so many ways and Mickey couldn’t hold it anymore, he came all over himself and felt exhausted, falling boneless into Ian’s lap.

“That was fucking amazing,” Ian breathed into Mickey’s hair. Mickey didn’t answer, he just nodded and smiled at Ian as he pushed himself off of him and pulled up his pants. Ian closed his own pants and moved so he was lying down onto the blankets. He took something that looked like an old shirt and cleaned his stomach, handing Mickey the piece of fabric to do the same.

“Are you alright?” Ian noticed as Mickey looked kind of confused.

“How many ti-,”

“Yeah, yeah sure,” Mickey started, “ ‘s just, I’ve never kissed anyone before.”

Ian’s mouth dropped a little and his eyebrows shot into his hairline. He looked both happy and confused at Mickey’s confession.

“You liked it?” was all Ian could give him after the short silence.

“Yeah, I did,” Mickey finally looked into Ian’s eyes again and smiled when Ian came closer, kissing him again. They kept kissing lazily until they both fell asleep.

♦♦♦

The next day they were both woken by the cold morning air. Mickey slowly shifted and he could feel Ian wake up behind him, judging by the change in his breathing and his arms loosening from Mickey’s waist. Mickey took Ian’s hand and pushed it away softly so he could sit up. Ian was watching him, watching Mickey stretch his arms and crack his neck.

“You awake?” Mickey asks as he turns to look at Ian. Ian nodded sleepily.

“Fucking cold in here, I’m sure my balls are freezing to my boxers,” Mickey pulls up his nose and realizes he now probably has a cold too.

“Want me to warm them up?” Ian asked casually. Mickey huffed out a laugh and shook his head.

“No I think we should go inside and warm up.”

“Didn’t see you as a mood killer Mickey,” Ian smiled.

Mickey crawled over him so he could open the door on Ian’s side, but Ian stopped him and pulled Mickey on top of him. He stared at him for a moment before pulling the boy closer by his neck and kissed him. The kiss was soft, almost tentative and so different from the night before. It didn’t make Mickey like it any less.

When Ian started fidgeting on Mickey’s shirt again, Mickey pulled back.

“Ian what are we doing?”

“We’re making out?”

Mickey rolled his eyes and Ian came closer again and started kissing Mickey’s neck until Mickey pushed him away again.

“No I meant this, what are we doing here? What are you expecting to happen once we’re out of this car?”

“Well like I said, we’re making out and I was hoping on a little more action down there but it seems like you’re not really _up_ for that,” Mickey looked annoyed.

“I don’t know Mickey,” Ian finally said.

“Once we’re out of this car, I’m going home and you call your girlfriend to tell her how much you missed her. We’re both going to forget about this and act like it didn’t happen and won’t be able to look each other in the eye ever again.” Mickey’s voice sounded both disappointed and annoyed.

“Well this was a quick honeymoon,” Ian said softly.

“Ian,” Mickey sighed.

“I don’t know,” Ian looked sideways to avoid any eye contact and Mickey finally crawled off of him and opened the door.

“Go to the new year’s party with me,” Ian started, “we can just be friends and try to figure this out?”

“I’ll text you,” Mickey said and with that he was gone, he walked through the garden into the streets and regretted not going through the house since that’s where he left his coat.

His mind was filled with the images of last night. It was so incredibly hot and Mickey felt like he had been dreaming, like it hadn’t been real. He should be happy but he wasn’t, because how was this supposed to go? Mickey watching Ian and his girlfriend make out every day and then a quickie in the school bathrooms when they both had a free hour. No thank you.

Once Mickey was home, he ran the shower and undressed. When he looked in the mirror, he could see a bruise, it was big and deep purple with blue, stained on his neck. Around it, he could still see the red, small stripes that had been Ian’s teeth. He didn’t even remember Ian giving him a hickey at all.

When he was in the shower and felt the poor streams run onto his body, Mickey let himself think about last night again. He put his head against the cold tiles and grabbed hold of his already hard cock. The memory of Ian jerking him off made him smile and he tried to re-act the moves Ian had made, his fingers already sliding in the crease of his ass.

It didn’t take long for him to come at all, screaming Ian’s name loudly as his come hit the tiles and his head swung back. _Fuck_. That was embarrassing.

He didn’t even have any energy to dry himself off, so he wrapped a towel around his waist and lay on his bed until sleep caught him. He didn’t know how long he and Ian had stayed up, but he did know he couldn’t have slept any more than four hours.

When Mickey was awoken again by the talking of his sister, it was already getting dark outside. But not dark enough to be night. He checked the clock that was standing on the bedside table and read 5.49pm. He had slept all day.

“…I don’t even know you realize how rude that was, you left before breakfast Mickey?” she kept babbling.

“And I mean, come on the least you could do is come by and say thank you? What were you guys doing there anyway?”

“We smoked some pot, drank some scotch, got high and drunk ‘nd fell asleep,” Mickey said hoarsely, voice still deep with sleep.

“Wait Ian _smokes_?”

“Yeah,” Mickey sighed, she was too annoying, he fucking just woke up.

“Did you bring my coat?” She frowned as Mickey asked her.

“No, you can go get it yourself and _thank_ them for the invitation and the evening,” with that, she stood up and left the room. She still had her nice dress on, meaning she had to be home just yet. He heard her yell at someone – probably one of their brothers – to move and then he heard a dull thump, like someone was falling.

Mickey got out of his bed and went to the living room, seeing what the sound was from. Mandy was in the couch with her knees against her chest watching TV and next to the couch was Iggy, totally gone out from this planet. She had pushed him out of the couch so she could sit down. He was kind of proud.

He joined her on the couch and watched the movie with her silently. They laughed at the same things, huffed at the same things and nearly cried at the same things. Mickey loved that about Mandy. With Mandy, he didn’t have to hide anything, he could do anything with her like a normal friend. She was probably his best friend, which might be sad, but also wasn’t.

“Mands,” Mickey mumbled as the movie credits scrolled over the screen.

“Mick?”

“I did something stupid,” she looked concerned and Mickey looked down at his hands.

“I think I kind of fell for someone,” he whispered, “I fell so fucking deep.”

“Finally,” Mandy said, sliding closer to Mickey and wrapping an arm around his shoulder. He looked at her in pure confusion and frowned so hard his eyebrows almost stuck together.

“Finally?”

“Mickey I’ve known from the first day of this school year, you’re not really that subtle,” she whispered and he smiled a little. But that quickly changed when he thought about Ian again. And Victoria. And the night before.

“I really don’t know what to do, Mands,” she hugged him closer and he didn’t even stop her.

“What do you say about going to Tyler’s new year’s party with me and the girls and we try to find you some smoking hot guy you can share your midnight kiss with? Put your mind off of him, there are so many guys out there Mick.”

“I’ll go,” Mickey said, “but on one condition.”

Mandy sighed, “sure, what?”

“Don’t even fucking dare to set me up,” Mickey said and Mandy laughed loudly, making Iggy move a little on the ground.

“Deal.”


	8. Chapter 8

It was 9pm when Mickey and the girls arrived at Tyler’s house. The house was huge, just like Max’s house had been. Everyone was dressed up beautifully, guys in tuxedo’s or suits, girls in short dresses with high heels and so many different hair styles Mickey didn’t even know were possible.

Mickey was wearing the only suit he owned. The one he had worn to his mother’s funeral. He hadn’t grown one inch since then so it still fit him perfectly. Robyn had taken care of his hair and it was slicked back nicely. She herself looked beautiful, her dark mahogany hair was long and curled, and her make-up was dark and glittery around her big, hazel eyes. She wore a black bustier dress and accessorized it with a gold necklace and bracelet. The only think standing out about her were her pink pumps that were the same color as her lips.

If Mickey would’ve been straight, Robyn would have been the girl of his dreams. She was one of the sweetest girls he had ever met and he really did feel like he could trust her.

“So are we both going to look for a hot guy to make out with, or are we going to share or midnight kiss together,” she joked as they walked onto the back porch of the house. There were a lot of people, even though it was freezing. Mickey huffed and smiled at her.

“You’re everything I’ve ever wanted Robyn,” he took her hand and turned her around, grabbing onto her waist as if they were dancing. She was laughing loudly and he loved it when she laughed, it filled something inside of him with warmth. Like he was happy that someone liked him, that he could make someone laugh, proud to have a friend like her.

“You’re a douche Mickey,” she smiled and so did he.

“Mickey!” Mickey knew that voice and when he turned around, he stood in front of Ian. He had to stop himself from sobbing out loud because fucking hell Ian looked amazing. His dark blue suit and brown leather shoes almost gave Mickey one of the best orgasms of his life and he hadn’t even looked at Ian’s face yet.

“Gallagher,” was all Mickey could get out. He felt uncomfortable, like he didn’t know how he should act. How could he? The last time he saw Ian they had spent the night in a van getting each other off and now they were here, talking like nothing had happened.

After probably staring at each other for way too long, Robyn made a weird, throaty noise and woke Mickey up from whatever it was they were doing.

“Uh, Robyn, this is Ian,” Mickey felt dumb, because of fucking course Robyn knew who Ian was, “Ian this is Robyn, my uh, my best friend,” Mickey said shyly and Robyn smiled brightly.

“Hi Robyn,” Ian said, in his normal, seductive tone, “I wish I could say I’ve heard a lot about you but I never really get big conversations out of him.”

Robyn laughed loudly as if she knew exactly what he was talking about.

“I wish the same, but we kind of share the same problem,” she smiled at Mickey and he rolled his eyes. Okay, he wasn’t talkative but hey, it wasn’t that bad?

“I’m going to look for the girls, text me if you’re looking for us,” Robyn stroked Mickey’s back and pinched his shoulder before she walked away. What was that for?

“So when you came to get your coat and the little gift I gave you, I did kinda hope I would see you?” Ian leaned onto the railing of the porch and looked into the garden. There was a big swimming pool, lit up as decoration probably, because no one uses his swimming pool in December?

“You were asleep,” Mickey answered.

Ian turned around so his back was leaning against the fence and he was turned to Mickey who was standing right in front of him. Most of the people on the porch had gone inside and there were only a few more people on the other side. Ian looked around just to be sure before he placed one – very warm – hand on Mickey’s waist. Even though no one would be able to see that simple touch, Mickey turned.

“Ian what are you doing?”

“Let’s take this somewhere else? I know a place,” Ian suggested and Mickey sighed, but before he could answer Ian pulled him by his arm and walked into the house through the crowd. They ended up upstairs in the attic; Ian opened the large window and stepped outside to a roof terrace. Of course, rich people need roof terraces. Why the hell not.

There were multiple loungers on the small terrace and Ian sat into one of them, his hand still on Mickey’s arm. Ian lay down and pulled Mickey with him so he landed on top of him. Mickey was straddling Ian’s waist and he could already feel his pants tightening. It didn’t take long before both Ian’s hands landed on his stomach and stroked upwards, feeling Mickey’s torso everywhere until his hands reached Mickey’s neck.

Ian pulled him down to kiss him, immediately pushing his tongue inside Mickey’s mouth. Ian’s tongue tasted like champagne and gum. The loud sounds of their kissing and panting filled the air around them and even though it was freezing, Mickey was hot. He was sweating, under his shirt and blazer and he needed to get rid of that fucking tie. Ian apparently, thought the same as he started fidgeting on Mickey’s tie.

When Ian started unbuttoning Mickey’s shirt, Mickey stopped him.

“No, Ian we need to talk about this,” Ian stopped and dropped himself back into the lounger.

“Why?”

“Because you have a girlfriend and I’m not a fucking mistress or whatever, how does that even work?”

“How does what work?” Jesus, was Ian acting stupid or was he just stupid?

“Jesus fuck Ian how do you see this? Just some dudes giving each other great orgasms? What are you going to do? Fuck me and then go to her and fuck her too?” Ian’s face finally showed some difference as he frowned.

“I don’t fucking know okay, I just,” he closed his eyes and rubbed them, “I’ve been into you since like the beginning of the school year and I don’t even know what it is, I’m fucking confused alright.” Mickey nodded.

 “Every time I’m around you I just want to tear your clothes off and fucking ruin you, you don’t even know how good you look right?” Mickey shook his head in confusion, because no, he really didn’t.

“And then on Christmas in the van, it was just so good, so hot. The kissing, the handjobs, the _other things_. I liked it, I like you,” Ian said.

“But what about-,” Mickey couldn’t continue when Ian cut him off.

“I like Victoria, we’ve been together for so long and she means a lot to me,” Mickey rolled his eyes and climbed off of Ian’s lap.

“No Mickey,” Ian grabbed his hand when Mickey turned to walk away.

“It’s different okay? It’s so different. I love Victoria, but I’m not _in_ love with her anymore. She helped me a lot, at home, at school, at a lot of things and she’s good to me.”

Mickey didn’t know where this was going, but it was _really_ confusing to him.

“But what happened on Christmas god Mickey,” Ian smiled and looked down, “it was the hottest thing I ever did and I want it again. I want it so much, I’ve been thinking about it every minute of every fucking day,” Ian finally looked at him and Mickey moved towards the lounger again.

“Every night, every time I’m in the shower, every fucking time I see that van. I can’t stop thinking about your hands or about your fucking lips and _mpfh_ -,” Mickey had to kiss him because Ian just had to stop talking. He really needs to teach this kid to just not talk so much, please.

He climbed on top of Ian again and kept kissing him until they were both out of breath and their tongues started hurting. Ian started fidgeting on Mickey’s shirt again but Mickey slapped his hand away, leading Ian to look very confused.

“Let me,” Mickey said, unbuttoning Ian’s shirt slowly. Ian was cold, he had to be because his skin was pale and full of goose bumps, even his nipples were hard. Mickey started kissing down from his neck to his happy trail, licking and biting Ian’s skin, loving every reaction he got out of him.

When he got to Ian’s pants, he opened them and released Ian’s dick. It was the first time he could really _see_ it, because in the van it was dark and quick. Ian’s dick was long and hard, curving towards his stomach. Mickey didn’t wait any longer to take Ian’s length into his mouth because fuck he needed this so badly.

He licked down the thick vein, pulsing in Ian’s dick and received a loud grunt from Ian. Mickey’s hand was holding Ian at the base of his dick while his tongue worked every inch, from the head to the base and again. He did all the things to Ian that he knew he enjoyed himself, sucking at the head for an admirable amount of time, which earned him the most amazing sounds from Ian.

“Fuck Mickey,” Ian panted and Mickey smiled around his dick, accidentally baring his teeth and Ian hissed. He started bobbing his head at a nice pace when Ian’s fingers found their way through Mickey’s hair. He grabbed onto it and pulled Mickey’s head back softly. What Mickey didn’t expect was for Ian to suddenly start thrusting.

Ian started rolling his hips slowly under him and fucked into his mouth and Mickey loved it. His eyes started tearing and his jaw really hurt but it was the best kind of pain he could really get used to.

 When Mickey could feel Ian’s hand loosening his grip on his hair, he took his chance and tried getting Ian’s whole length into his mouth, deep throating him. It didn’t work, it just made his eyes tear even more and he was gagging around Ian.

Well fuck, the only time that had ever happened was the very first time he tried it, what the hell was this? It’s not that hard once you knew how to do it, and Mickey fucking knew how to do it. It’s like taking a shot; you just open your throat and do it, not that fucking hard. So he tried again, and this time it did work.

Ian almost screamed at the sensation Mickey was giving him. He tried to muffle his moans into his fist and his breathing was loud and uneven. Yeah, he was so close. Mickey on the other hand, was hard and leaking in his pants and almost totally forgotten.

“Mickey you have to stop, I’m gonna,” Ian almost whined, he was totally out of breath and it kind of made Mickey proud because he did that.

But Mickey didn’t stop, hell he just quickened his pace and sucked the orgasm out of Ian. Ian came hard in Mickey’s mouth and he just swallowed everything. He even licked him clean while Ian was trying to catch his breath. Once he had, he pulled Mickey up by his hair and kissed him, pushing his tongue inside his mouth and tasting himself. Tasting the bittersweet taste of his own come.

Ian sat up, Mickey shifting in his lap and kissed him even deeper, hands moving to Mickey’s pants. He grabbed Mickey’s erection through his pants and stroked it a few times before moving to his zipper. He had barely opened the zipper when –

“Ian!” it was a male voice, coming from the attic.

“Fuck.” Ian whispered as Mickey jumped from his lap, zipping his pants again. Ian quickly buttoned his shirt and Mickey walked towards the other lounger.

“Ian?” it was Max, he walked through the big window and frowned when he saw them both.

Mickey didn’t even know how he looked right now; he tried to control his hair from where Ian had pulled on it and buttoned his blazer. Ian looked fairly normal for someone who just had an amazing orgasm; at least his hair wasn’t sticking out in every direction.

“Max,” Ian finally answered him and stood up.

“Victoria’s looking for you, what are you doing up here?” Max said, eyeing Mickey.

“Victoria? She said she’d be out of town?” Ian was visibly shocked.

“Yeah apparently she’s not, she’s in the kitchen I think,” Ian looked at Mickey one last time before walking inside, followed by Max. Mickey checked his watch, it was almost midnight already. How long had they been up here?

He waited until his erection was totally gone before going downstairs too, looking for Mandy or Robyn. He found Robyn in the living room, she was on the couch with Kelly and Mickey walked towards them.

“Mick! There you are, where have you been?” Robyn patted on the spot next to her, inviting him to join her. Once he sat down, he threw his head back on the back of the couch and sighed.

“I was up, there’s some kind of roof terrace up there, pretty cool.”

“Up with who?” she asked and he raised his eyebrows at her, because she knew damn well who he was with and he wouldn’t tell her with Kelly listening.

On the other side of the living room, he could see Ian. He was standing with four guys from the football team and their girlfriends. Victoria was turned towards him and she looked stunning. Her dress looked straight out of a fashion magazine and her hair was beautifully curled. Ian’s hand was wrapped around her waist and she was constantly laughing and whispering things in his ear.

Robyn gave him a small push and looked at him. She looked worried, and he knew that she knew what was going through his head. He hated it. He hated that Robyn knew him so fucking well and all he wanted to do was fucking cry. That wasn’t normal, Mickey never cries. But right now, watching Ian and his girlfriend being happy like that, it was sickening.

He felt stupid, for giving Ian what he wanted less than an hour ago. He should have just walked away and end all that shit before it even started, but no he gave in and fell for him even deeper than he already was. He should have made it clear that he’s no mistress; he shouldn’t fall for Ian’s stupid ‘it’s different’ speech. But he did, and he couldn’t change that.

“You wanna come outside with me?” it was a rhetorical question because Robyn was standing up already, holding out her hand for him to take. He could see the surprise on her face when he actually took her hand and let her leave them out, back to the porch. They walked towards the railings and both leaned over it, faced towards the big garden.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really,” Mickey sighed, searching his inside pockets for cigarettes.

“Well fuck Mickey, too bad,” Robyn smiled, accepting the cigarette he handed her. He lit it for her and smiled because of course, he wouldn’t be able to get away with any of this if it were up to Robyn.

“It’s not important,” he said, smoke leaving through his nostrils.

“Listen to me Mickey,” she was dead serious, he knew he had a large speech coming, “I know you’ve been gay since you were thirteen, I watched you, and I just hoped you would trust me enough to tell me yourself one day.”

“I _do_ trust yo-,” she shushed him.

“I don’t care you didn’t tell me, I understand that where you come from it doesn’t work that way and I accepted that, I do. I also know that you live on one night stands when you’re drunk in boys town,” his eyes widened and she shushed him again, “I had my sources. But this year I’ve seen something different about you, like something had changed and again, I watched you. Not in the creeper way by the way, I just care about you, you know?”

He nodded and didn’t dare to say anything.

“What you feel for Ian, it’s something you’ve never felt before right?” he nodded again.

“You _like_ him,” it wasn’t a question, she just _said_ it.

“Are you in love with him?” Mickey frowned and buried his face in his hands.

“Fuck,” he whispered.

She threw her cigarette away and put a hand on his back, when suddenly everyone was counting down sixty seconds.

“You deserve better Mickey, you deserve to love and be loved back, and you deserve to be happy for once in your fucking life. You deserve to be yourself,” she grabbed his face in both her hands and forced him to look into her eyes.

“Don’t ever think you don’t deserve any of that,” he shook his head, “promise me.”

“I promise,” he whispered and she gave him a faint smile.

_10…9…8…_

Robyn took the butt of Mickey’s cigarette out of his mouth and threw it away.

“Three.”

“Two.”

“One,” Mickey added and then the fireworks exploded and the music went quiet, they could hear everyone scream happy New Year.

Robyn threw her arms around his neck and he didn’t even fight her off, sliding his hands around her waist and burying his face in her hair.

“Happy New Year, Ruby,” he whispered and he could feel her smile. Yes, he still knew her nickname. She loosened her grip and took a step back to look at him.

“Happy New Year, Milky. May the new year bring to you warmth of love and a good sense of humor,” she laughed.

“You’re a sap,” was all he gave her in return.

“Now dance with me Mickey,” she opened her arms in a dance position and he shook his head.

She grabbed his hand and pulled him inside, into the big, dancing crowd and forced him to dance with her. He didn’t mind at all, he actually liked it. He was happy thanks to her, and he realized now that no, he didn’t _not_ have any friends. He did.

They danced and laughed the whole night and sometimes Ian would send him quick glances or secret smiles, and Mickey would just ignore him. Because Robyn was right, he deserved to be happy.

And being a mistress, wouldn’t make him happy.


	9. Chapter 9

School started only one week later and Mickey had ignored everyone since the New Year’s party. He had spent his days alone in his bed on his laptop, watching Game of Thrones and play Angry Birds on Facebook. He had received several messages from Robyn, inviting him to join them into whatever it was girls do these days. But he didn’t feel like getting out of bed and be productive _, at all_.

Ian had totally ignored him too. He hadn’t sent anything after the party and Mickey knew he shouldn’t care, he should be happy that Ian leaved him alone. But somehow, it kind of hurt, too. Mickey had typed several text messages, to then end up deleting them again before clicking ‘ _send’_.

Robyn was waiting for Mickey and Mandy at the school gate, her arms crossed and her face screaming ‘ _I’m so not done with you’_. Once both siblings joined her, she turned around with Mandy and totally ignored Mickey until they stopped at his locker. Mandy walked to her class and Robyn stood silently next to him as he took his books.

“You on your period or something?”

“ _No_ ,” she grunted, folding her arms again.

“I swear if I’d put a glass of milk in front of your face, it’d be sour in under three seconds,” Mickey said and Robyn gave him a faint smile.

“We’re going out on Friday,” she said matter-of-factly.

“Oh are we now?”

“Yeah, you have been moping around since New Year’s Eve, ignored me and you need to meet someone _nice_ ,” she was serious and Mickey knew he had no chance but to go out with her.

“Where you wanna go?”

“Just some club in Chicago, nothing special, nothing fancy. Just a dance club with fake ID’s and getting drunk together,” she smiled.

“I’m in on one condition,” she nodded, “you won’t try to hook me up, won’t even introduce me to any guy and you will not leave me alone again like you did last time.”

“Good,” she said, turning around and walking to their French class.

♦♦♦

Friday couldn’t come quite fast enough. They had been loaded with homework and tests already and Mickey actually needed a fun night out. He and Mandy arrived at Robyn’s house around eight and she invited them in for a drink first. Inside, Kelly and Amy were already seated, along with their boyfriends. Mickey gave them a slight nod and sat down into one of the armchairs.

When Robyn came back, she handed him a glass of wine and put another bowl of chips on the table. The house was a typical Chicago house. It was big and right out of the city. Everything was large and majestic. There was a grand piano in the living room and nobody in the house even played the piano. The fireplace was enormous and the chandeliers were covered in diamonds.

It made Mickey uncomfortable to sit in a 1500 dollar armchair, like he shouldn’t even sit inside of it, what if he might leave a scratch in the expensive leather? Or the wine – he absolutely hated wine – that was probably worth more money than his iPhone. He just wanted to leave the house and go out, just like Robyn had promised him.

He was silent through the whole evening and was the first to jump up when Robyn suggested to get going.

The amount of people in the club was sickening. They could barely move through the dancing crowd of sweating people and Mickey was disgusted when his face was pushed against someone’s sweaty, bare torso. He made his way to the bar and sat on one of the stools along with Robyn. He didn’t know where Mandy and the rest of them were, but he honestly didn’t care. All he wanted was to order as much alcohol as he could handle and get wasted.

All those thoughts flushed away when Ian pulled himself on the bar stool next to Mickey.

“Hi Mickey,” Ian screamed in his ears, but even then it was barely audible because of the loud music. Mickey gave Ian a faint smile and turned to the bartender to order a double scotch and a martini for Robyn.

“I’m going back to the girls, you figure this shit out first,” Robyn screamed and she walked back to the group. He hated her for doing it, but she just wanted him to move on and that would only work if he let Ian go. He had to tell him that it had to end before anything else could start. But when he turned around and saw Ian smiling at him, he just couldn’t do it yet.

“What are you doing here?” Mickey asked him and Ian smirked. He definitely had been drinking.

“Victoria wanted to go dancing, but she left already, felt sick,” Ian explained.

“You’re here alone?”

“I wasn’t at first, Max was here too,” Ian suddenly looked very confused, “I think Matt’s gone home actually.”

“Ian what have you been drinking?”

“Orange juice!” he exclaimed, turning to the bartender and waving with his empty glass, “with a lot of vodka,” Ian smiled.

Mickey grabbed his glass and drank all of it in once, welcoming the hot burn in the back of his throat and ordering a second one. He paid for his drinks and for Ian’s last one before drinking the other glass. He couldn’t do any of this if he was this sober.

Ian slid out of the barstool and landed on wobbly legs, he almost fell as he lost his balance and held onto Mickey.

“Mickey,” Ian was talking close to his face, his hot breath tickling in Mickey’s ear and his hands landed on Mickey’s thighs.

“Wanna dance?” Ian asked him. And no, Mickey didn’t want to dance at all. He was a terrible dancer and he hated it.

“No but you go, I’ll wait here,” Mickey pushed his hands away and Ian pouted before turning and walking into the dancing crowd.

He watched Ian constantly. Watched every move, every look, and every person trying to touch him. It was beautiful. Ian’s moves were almost erotic and the way he rolled his body made Mickey’s pants tighten. Ian didn’t even mercy him; he just kept keeping eye contact with Mickey. Kept staring at him, inviting him.

Mickey didn’t last ten minutes before he walked towards Ian and grabbed onto his waist, following the movies he made with his hands. Ian too, placed his hands on Mickey’s hips and moved them at the same pace. They were dancing until they forgot about what time even meant, their pelvises grinding together and forgetting about the world around them.

When Mickey opened his eyes, Ian was staring at him, watching him intently. When Ian came closer to kiss him, he pulled away.

“Ian, Kelly’s here with Brad what if he sees you?”

“Mickey look around you, it’s packed with strangers, we’re locked in, no one will see us,” Ian said and it was true, they barely had place to breathe because of the amount of people around them. Ian was staring at him, smiling as he saw Mickey look around.

Mickey was hesitating. Because one, he should really not be doing this, he should make an end to this since that were his first intentions. Two, he was definitely in love with Ian fucking Gallagher and kissing him now would only make his heart race more and make his mind completely blank. Even though he knew all of that, he still chose to do what he does best.

Fuck things up.

His hand quickly shot up to Ian’s face, bracketing his chin and pulling him in for a kiss. Ian was surprised at the sudden change of mind but he was totally into what was happening, holding onto the back of Mickey’s neck and pulling him even closer.

Their noses were pressed together and everything around them went black. The only thing that Mickey could see when he opened his eyes, was Ian’s closed eyes and immensely long eyelashes and the purple and blue lights that were dancing over their bodies. Their tongues quickly met and slid together. Ian’s tongue felt like hot velvet in his mouth and the taste was just delicious, because even though Ian had been drinking, Mickey could only taste mint and freshness and everything nice.

They kissed until they were out of breath. They were panting and catching their breaths, watching each other closely, not at all letting go of each other. Ian’s lips were red and plump, his mouth still open and he looked as if he didn’t believe what just happened.

“Wanna get out of here?” Ian grinned and before Mickey could even think he just nodded. Ian pulled him out of the club by his hand, pushing everyone aside to make way for them.

Once they were outside, Ian called a cab and Mickey sent Robyn a text that he was leaving.

_Don’t do anything you’ll regret, Mick, please don’t do anything stupid._

That was all Robyn sent him. He chose to ignore the text and turned back to Ian. They just stared at each other for a while until Ian pushed Mickey against the façade of the club and kissed him again, rougher that he had done inside. This kiss involved biting and sucking and Ian’s nails were scratching the small of his back under his shirt, making Mickey whine into their kiss. Ian grinded his half hard cock against Mickey’s groin and sighed into his mouth.

“I want you so much,” Ian whispered, almost inaudible. Mickey answered with another kiss and wrapped both arms around Ian’s waist as he kissed him more tentative then the previous kiss.

The cab arrived shortly after that and drove them to Mickey’s house. Mickey knew it would be save, his dad being in jail and two of his brothers back in juvie. He also knew that Iggy was gone with friends on some drug trip. He felt a weird rush of tickles through his stomach at the thought that they would be totally alone in his father’s home. Knowingly so, he didn’t have any more patience and he pulled Ian inside by the hem of his shirt.

Once inside, Ian turned them around and pushed Mickey against the front door, locking him in with every inch of his body and kissing him deeply, playing with the hem of his shirt. Where they were quiet and attentive back at the club, they weren’t now. They moaned and sighed, panting and breathing loudly into each other’s mouths, mumbling unintelligible words and promises.

Mickey was fidgeting on Ian’s shirt, Ian showing no sign of even letting Mickey go.

“Off,” Mickey said hoarsely and Ian finally listened. He opened his eyes and his pupils narrowed at the light hitting his eyes for the first time in minutes. After a few seconds of staring, Ian seemed to understand what Mickey just asked him and took a step back, pulling his shirt up and helping Mickey out of his.

Once the shirts were gone, he wasted to time to push Mickey into the door again and lift him up, kissing him again. Mickey let out a little shout at being thrown in the air just like that, whispering ‘ _fucker’_ against Ian’s soft lips and they both smiled.

“Bedroom?” Mickey asked a little unsure, but Ian seemed to agree, turning around and carrying Mickey with him, not letting go of his lips. He kicked Mickey’s door open and walked inside, dropping the boy on the bed. When he was about to climb on top of him, Mickey stopped him.

“Door,” he smiled and Ian rolled his eyes, closing the door as fast as humanly possible and turning back towards Mickey that was unbuckling his pants on the bed.

“No, let me,” Ian said, slapping his hands away and opening the belt himself. Mickey did the same with his and pulled the belt out of his pants and onto the ground. Ian sat up and pulled at Mickey’s pants, he then stood up to pull off his own and climbed back on top of Mickey. He kissed him again before going down, and kissing his chest.

“Mickey fuck, you’re hot,” Ian said softly against his chest.

“Shut up,” Mickey answered, cheeks reddening.

Ian sat up and for the first time that night, Mickey saw his bare body in the light. The toned muscle on his stomach, the red hairs running down from his navel to his boxers, the freckles covering his whole chest.

_The fading hickey on his collarbone._

It was that moment that Mickey realized just how wrong he was. He hated himself to be so fucking stupid, he hated how bad that one particular blotch made him feel. He could feel his stomach starting to wrench. Once Ian bent down again to kiss him, Mickey turned his head and pushed him slightly.

“Ian, you should go,” the words came out too soft to be taken seriously, but Ian looked taken aback more than anything.

“What?”

“It’s a mistake, I knew it when we were at the bar, and I fucking knew that I shouldn’t.”

“Mick what are you talking about?”

“The hickey,” Mickey pointed at Ian’s collarbone, “I can’t do this, not when I know that tomorrow you might leave here and go to hers, I just,” Mickey sighed. “I’m not a mistress, I deserve better.”

Ian’s face changed from confused to sad and angry and Mickey had never seen that many emotions on someone in less than ten seconds.

“Mick?”

“Please go, Ian,” Ian just stared at him intently, “I’m too deep already, and you need to leave now.”

Ian stood up and put on his pants and shoes.

“Mickey can’t we at least talk ab-”

“Fuck, Ian, just go already!” it came out way louder than he had expected, it sounded harsh and angry. Exactly how Mickey felt and he regretted his words instantly.

“Fine.”

Ian left Mickey’s room and Mickey could hear him stopping in the hallway, probably to pick up his shirt. He buried his face in his hands and sighed loudly. Once he could hear the front door close, Mickey stood up and grabbed the first thing he found – which in this case was his bedside lamp – and threw it against the wall.

He let out everything he had been stuck with. His stupidness, his selfishness, his fucking feelings, his anger.

“ _Fuck_ ”

If this was what love felt like, he didn’t even want to know why people would choose to do it. But then it hit him. You don’t _choose_ to love. It just happens. It’s disgusting.


	10. Chapter 10

When the longest weekend of Mickey’s life was finally over, he realized how he had done _nothing_ of his schoolwork. He had promised himself to do his work over the weekend, work hard and get good grades but that plan had fallen into the water after what happened on Friday night.

Mickey made sure he was late at school, so he wouldn’t have to see anyone before classes and he just really hoped to avoid everything that involved Ian. What he also wanted to avoid, was a very angry little girl called Robyn, because basically all the text messages he had received from her over the weekend involved the words _killing_ , _hating_ and _getting your ass kicked_.

When he entered the class, he gave the teacher a small paper that explained his absence - which was totally made up – and refused to make eye contact with Robyn. He could feel her eyes burning on him, following him around.

Once the class was over, Mickey quickly shot up and left the classroom, trying to avoid Robyn’s speech, and made his way to the bathrooms.

Turned out, Robyn was a bad ass bitch with absolutely no shame when she strolled into the boys bathrooms behind him. She locked the door from the inside and Mickey frowned. What school has locks on doors like that? How the hell had he never noticed that? Robyn checked every stall to make sure that they were alone and when the cost was clear, she pushed him against the sinks.

“I want to know everything,” she almost growled, face coming closer, “when it started, how it happened, what’s going out in that fucking silent head of yours.”

Mickey wasn’t going to lie, he was scared. Robyn had something very intimidating about her, she could be the sweet, little, and innocent girl if she wanted to but she could also transform herself into _this_.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

She pushed hard against him, his back hurt against the sink and he grimaced. She looked amused.

“I went for a smoke last Friday to find you guys eating each other’s faces before getting into a cab together. You sent me one text saying ‘ _Ian drunk bringing him home’_ , and hell yes you brought him home didn’t you,” she frowned at him as he rolled his eyes, “Mickey do you really hate yourself that much?”

“Hey, hey,” Mickey pushed her away a little, he didn’t like it when she did that, blaming him and making him feel worse before making him feel better.

“Yes, I brought him home and we made out but that was it, I kicked him out.”

“Why?”

“Because I didn’t want to go any further if he was still with Victoria and I told him that, like you said; I deserve better and I ain’t no mistress,” she looked questioningly.

“How many times?”

“What?”

“How many times did it happen?”

“We’ve been together three times, but we haven’t really done anything yet,” he explained.

“Yet?”

“I don’t fucking know Robyn, okay? He sounds like he really wants it, even though he was either drunk or high whenever we did it but I know he wanted it, I mean, I could totally _see_ it,” Mickey said, definitely referring to Ian’s dick and Robyn gave him a faint smile.

“So you just made out?”

“I mean yeah, and other things,” Mickey smiled as he thought about Christmas Eve.

“Since when?”

“Christmas, so it hasn’t been going on for long and it’s over now so just quit it,” Mickey tried to stand up but Robyn pushed him back and locked him in.

“Have you guys talked about it?”

“Sort of.”

“Sort of?”

“I asked him what we were going to do about Victoria, he said he loved her still, end of story Robyn,” she looked confused, “Can I please leave now?”

“I don’t get why he would say he still loved her if he’s fucking another dude behind her back?”

“We haven’t fucked,” Mickey said loudly.

“Mickey, honey, getting each other off with hands or mouths also falls under the definition of fucking, _please_.”

Mickey sighed and rolled his eyes, when he stood up she did let go and took a step back.

“Talk to him about it, ask him what the deal with Vicky is and make him choose. If he chooses you you’re lucky but don’t you dare to let him seduce you or get into your pants because seriously Mickey? And if he doesn’t choose you, well, good? Than at least, you will know where you stand.”

He hated how right she was; he nodded and rubbed his eyes. He had been sleep deprived all weekend and all he wanted to do was sleep now. He also had to find Ian and talk to him about it.

Robyn made a move to open her arms and came closer.

“You will not hug me,” Mickey bit and he turned away, going to open the door.

“Oh come on Mickey! I know you’re a secret snuggler, you like snuggling!” she laughed as they both walked out of the bathrooms. Mickey gave her a faint smile and pushed her away. She turned to run to her classroom and left Mickey alone in the middle of the hall.

“Mister Milkovich, may I please ask you to go to your class, please.”

Mickey turned and saw his history teacher give him a fake smile and he nodded. He didn’t go to his class, though. He decided to get his books and go to the library since he had missed half of the class already and made the homework he’d forgot that weekend.

He couldn’t concentrate at all. He found himself constantly staring at the clock or checking his phone, checking if he might have any messages which, really? Who in hell would send him something. He knew it was because of Ian, he had to talk to him, ask him things. He needed to understand.

_we need 2 talk, come to bleachers after lunch –mick_

Mickey hit send and immediately regretted his decision. What if he wasn’t ready for the whole truth yet? What if Ian was going to reject him? He dropped his head onto his open books and sighed loudly.

♦♦♦

After lunch, Mickey walked towards the bleachers where Ian was already waiting for him. Mickey nodded at him and turned his head for Ian to follow him under the bleachers. Once they were out of sight and were sure no one would see them, Mickey sat down and Ian followed.

“Look I’m not going to beat around the bush here, I know you have practice but I just need to know what’s happening here and where I’m standin’,” Mickey said and Ian nodded.

“What do you want to know?” Ian asked.

“I just want to know what your plan is, man? I don’t want to be played with, I’m not something you can just call when you want to get off or whatever,” Mickey said, a tad annoyed.

“I told you it’s more complicated than that, I can’t just drop Victoria,” Ian sighed.

“So then explain it to me?”

“I’ve been friends with Victoria since we were 13, we were best friends at first and then decided to take it further and we got together when we were 15,” Ian started.

“I always kind of knew I was into guys and outside my family, she’s the only one who knows that. She accepted it, kept it a secret because well, I’m on the football team and news like that wouldn’t be received that well. That’s why she hates me being around you a lot, she’s always been a little _protective_ when I’m getting along with other people.”

It kind of made sense to Mickey that she would be protective but he never knew that Ian was actually okay with his sexuality, seeing he hadn’t been that sober whenever they were together.

“Right before I turned 16 I started having these uncontrollable emotions, like I would be happy for days and out and about, totally energetic. Until one day I fell into a depression, I didn’t do anything but sleep for days. She hadn’t left my side for eight days before her parents had to come pick her up so she would finally take care of herself. She hadn’t eaten or washed up, she only wanted to stay in my room.” Mickey couldn’t help but look shocked; he couldn’t see Victoria do any of that.

“A lot of stuff happened and I’ve seen a lot of psychiatrists and doctors, I was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder only a few weeks later,” Mickey looked questioningly, “it’s manic depression,” Ian explained.

“All those doctor visits and different kinds of medication were costing a lot of money and we were kind of in a low at home, it was a lot more than we could afford at that moment, so Victoria’s family decided to help us out. They helped us pay the expensive medication and the doctor bills.”

It made a lot more sense to Mickey now; Victoria had kind of saved Ian in a way.

“I’m not staying with her for her family’s money, or because I want to make it right in some way. It’s just that I’m afraid of losing her. I told you, she’s not a bad person and I love her, but it’s different.” Ian looked into Mickey’s eyes for the first time since he started talking.

“You have ‘being in love’, and ‘loving someone’. They’re two complete different things. I love her to death and she means a lot to me, but I don’t feel as good when I’m with her,” Ian said, not breaking eye contact.

“I think love is bullshit. I think it’s just an excuse to hurt and to be hurt,” Mickey said roughly and Ian let out a small laugh.

“And even though you feel like that, you can’t help but just doing it,” Ian stated. He was right, it’s not something you could just ignore or forget. Falling for Ian kind of made Mickey realize that it was indeed, not under his control. He wanted to just hate Ian to bits and pieces, but as much as he wanted that, he just couldn’t.

“I understand you y’know, I do. I just wanna know where this is heading,” he waved between the two of them.

“I want it to be more, what I said on Friday didn’t change Mickey I want you,” Mickey couldn’t help but smile a little, “I just don’t know how I can tell her that without her hating me.”

“You’ll have to if you really want to, but just so you know Ian, I’m not going to wait,” Mickey said and Ian nodded.

Mickey lit a cigarette as they both stared into the bleachers. They shared to whole cigarette before Mickey got up and grabbed his backpack, swinging it over his shoulder. Ian quickly stood up too and grabbed Mickey’s hand before he turned. Pulling him closer.

“Ian what’re you doi-,” Ian’s lips stopped him from talking as they pushed against his in a soft kiss.

The kiss got heated soon and before they knew it they started making out for a full five minutes. Ian stopped kissing him once they heard people jump on the bleachers and watched Mickey intently. Ian’s face and neck were flushed, his pink lips a little swollen.

“I’m not asking you to wait for me, just to be patient,” Ian said before he grabbed his own bag and walked back to catch up on practice.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Between the *** is Ian's pov, this might get a little confusing.

In the next week, Mickey had noticed that Ian and Victoria started talking less. They didn’t sit together at lunch anymore and during breaks she would be with her cheerleading friends instead of with Ian and his friends. They talked sometimes, but it wasn’t like before. They didn’t kiss or hug, sometimes they looked annoyed, sometimes she would start crying, other times they were very serious. It was painful to watch really.

During lunch break, Ian ran up the bleachers after practice and sat down next to Mickey. Luckily Robyn and Mandy had already left to meet the girls after their practice, because Mickey couldn’t deal with Robyn’s judging reactions right now.

“So I talked to Victoria,” Ian started.

“You stink,” was all Mickey gave him. Ian frowned and smelled his t-shirt that was wet with sweat and grimaced. His hair was wet too; beads of sweat rolling down his face.

“We broke up,” Ian said.

♦♦♦

_“I just think we need a break,” Ian said._

_Victoria sat down on his bed, head in her hands._

_“Why?” she asked, voice already trembling, “You don’t like me anymore?”_

_“Of course I do, you’re amazing, I just think we should take a break,” Ian crouched down in front of her, placing his hands on her knees, “We see each other every single day, at the end of every day we’re working on each other’s nerves and one day we’ll just explode.”_

_Victoria let out a soft laugh and removed her hands from her face, watching down at Ian. He brought one hand to her face to swipe her tears with his thumb, trying to swipe away the trail of mascara on her cheek._

_“So it’s not because you think I’m not pretty or shallow?”_

_“No! Don’t ever think that Victoria, you’re beautiful,” he answers, thumb stroking her cheek and locking a loose strand of hair behind her ear, “you can be shallow sometimes, but I don’t mind, I know who you really are but don’t ever think you’re ugly.”_

_“I don’t, I’m not ugly,” they both laugh and smiled at each other._

_“I just need some time alright?”_

_“Yeah, okay,” she whispers. Ian stands up to sit next to her on the bed, wrapping an arm around her shoulder and hugging her closer. They stay like that for a while until she decided it might be better to just go home. For the first time in two years, they didn’t kiss goodbye as she left the house._

♦♦♦

“How did she react?”

“She was a little hurt at first, but I think she understood,” Ian said looking into the field, watching Victoria talk to two of her best friends, “I’m sure she’ll get over it soon enough.”

“Yeah, hopefully,” Mickey said, looking down his lap where his closed notebook lay.

“Are we good?” Ian asked voice unsure. Mickey couldn’t do anything but nod as he put away the book and closed his backpack, getting ready to leave for class.

“You should shower, class starts in five and you still stink,” Mickey said and Ian laughed.

“Yeah,” Ian answered, “can I see you tonight?”

“I gotta head home after school, still have some stuff to do,” Ian’s face went from happy to a little disappointed and Mickey hated that face, “tomorrow.”

He stood up and patted him on his shoulders before walking down the bleachers, smiling at him once more when he was down and walked away. Ian’s face was happy and hopeful again and Mickey loved seeing it, wanted to kiss Ian’s whole face. But he couldn’t, he had to be careful with this.

♦♦♦

On Friday after school, Mickey decided to stay a while and watch Ian practice for the game next week. Ian had gotten him in one of his grey Hollister trainings he’d gotten from Victoria. The pants were a little too long but not long enough to trip over them, the sweater on the other hand was so big he almost swam in it.

The practice contained of Ian throwing balls and Mickey running behind them. It was good practice for him, after two hours he was wet with sweat and he was pretty sure he had ran a couple of miles without really getting out of breath.

“Dude it’s been more than two hours, how long do you practice?” Mickey asked, pushing the ball in Ian’s hands.

“Until I get it right,” Ian answered seriously.

“Yeah, okay I’m gonna hit the shower,” Mickey said, walking towards the big building.

Ian just hummed and kept on practicing.

The locker rooms were different at night. The fluorescent lamps gave the room a horror-movie feel with the flickering lamps. The room was cold and Mickey wanted to get under the hot shower as soon as possible.

He undressed and placed his clothes in one of the free lockers, putting a towel on the bench and grabbing Ian’s shower gel out of his duffel bag. When he turned on the shower, the water was ice cold and he jumped. He had to wait a full five minutes before it finally turned warmer and walked under the stream.

The water pressure was better than the one at his house, but still not good. It did feel nice to shower with hot water for once, seeing that Mandy really enjoyed long and hot showers, he never really stood a chance.

***

After another ten minutes of practicing, Ian was getting tired of it and decided to stop. He’d practice more on Monday, he promised himself. He walked towards the building and he could hear the muffled sound of Mickey’s voice and –

 _No way_ , he could hear Mickey singing. He opened the door to the locker rooms silently and walked inside.

_“And just maybe, I'm to blame for all I've heard…”_

Ian walked around the large lockers and had full view to Mickey, standing under the shower with the bottle of shower gel to his mouth, holding it like a microphone.

_“But I'm not sure, I'm so excited, I can't wait to meet you there…”_

Mickey didn’t sing that bad at all and Ian wasn’t surprised by his taste in music. He kind of looked like the type that listened to older rock bands, singing along in his room to old albums.

_“And I don't care, I'm so horny, but that's okay my will is good”_

Ian stepped into the showers, moving behind Mickey who was moving his hips slightly to the melody that was playing in his head. Once Ian’s hand landed on his shoulder, Mickey almost screamed and dropped the bottle he was holding, eyes wide as he stared at Ian.

***

“Dude, give a guy a warning,” Mickey looked down to his feet, “I think I almost pissed myself.”

When he wants to look up again, he’s blocked by seeing Ian’s cock, half hard between them. He then looks up to find Ian smirking and smiles at him.

“You have quite the singing voice,” Ian laughs and Mickey almost blushes

“Shut up.”

“No really, it was nice, I also heard you sing something very interesting,” Mickey raised his eyebrows questioningly and looked like he was thinking about the song, once he figured it out he just grinned knowingly. He then looked down, knowing Ian would follow his gaze. They were both hard, almost touching each other.

“Turn around,” Ian said softly, already bending to pick up the bottle of shower gel Mickey had dropped. Mickey did as asked without hesitation and he could feel the goosebumps covering his skin one Ian’s hands slid over his sides. He could hear Ian opening the bottle and suddenly, Ian’s hands were in his hair, massaging his scalp, soap running down Mickey’s forehead and almost into his eyes.

Ian’s hands did something to him, because Mickey’s only reaction was to groan and sigh and he was literally out of words, he would give everything for Ian to never, ever stop massaging his head. “Good?” Ian asked insecurely and Mickey nodded frantically, still groaning softly in the back of his throat.

After another three minutes of amazing head massaging, Ian’s hand lowered down his neck and his back. Ian then took the bottle and squeezed shower gel in his hands to then smoothly rub it on Mickey’s skin. His hands were soft and big, fingers pushing the skin and nails occasionally scraping down his sides, lightly tickling him. Ian even wrapped his arms around Mickey as if they were in some kind of weird front to back hug to wash his chest and stomach.

It all felt very foreign to Mickey, to get this much attention. It made him feel fuzzy and light headed, his stomach felt weird and all he wanted to do was grab Ian’s arms and hold them closely so Ian wouldn’t let go, which, weird. Mickey had never even considered going further with guys, he never knew what being in love felt like, and he never understood Kelly when she would talk about being in love. It sounded weird and useless.

But if the feeling he had now was love, then maybe he could understand her better. He did feel better, he didn’t feel insecure about his body with Ian, didn’t feel like he had to prove who he was, he didn’t feel like Ian would judge him about anything and it made him feel good. Ian made him feel good.

“Mickey you kind of stopped breathing,” Ian wakes him from his thoughts, hands flat on Mickey’s stomach and chest.

“No I didn’t,” Mickey said and Ian didn’t answer, instead he started rubbing at Mickey’s back again, lowering in circling motions. He stopped at Mickey’s ass, squeezing it lightly and Mickey could feel Ian smile against his shoulder as Mickey sighed softly, clearly enjoying the touch.

“Turn around,” Ian whispered and Mickey did. He didn’t look at Ian’s face, just stared at his chest like it was the most interesting thing ever. He didn’t even know why he was avoiding Ian’s gaze, maybe he was afraid that seeing his eyes would just cause him to suddenly start shouting out his feelings or whatever, and Mickey doesn’t do feelings.

So he just stared at Ian’s impressive chest, at his nipples, at the toned muscles that were his stomach and then back up at his amazingly shaped collarbones, or his long neck that he just wanted to suck at. Before he could even consider giving Ian a hickey, Ian had already made up his choices and pulled Mickey in by his neck, smashing their lips together. Ian’s hands wrapped around the back of his neck and his waist, pulling him in and kissing him even deeper. Their erections were sliding together and Mickey just wanted to climb Ian like a tree.

The hand on his back slid lower, fingers spreading Mickey’s ass cheeks and Mickey could feel the water running down his ass followed by Ian’s long fingers. Mickey couldn’t help but lean into the touch and push back against Ian’s hand. Once Mickey could feel a finger touching his entrance, he whimpered against Ian’s lips and received a wide grin back.

Once Ian’s finger entered his body, Mickey almost jumped. He put his arms around Ian’s shoulders, standing on the tips of his toes to reach high enough and he mouthed at his neck, sucking lightly as Ian slid in and out of him softly. Once Ian added another finger and bent his fingers inside of Mickey, touching that spot inside of him, Mickey shivered and groaned, letting go of Ian’s neck. He could already see a dark red stain on his neck and he knew it would stay there for at least a week.

Mickey pulled one arm from around Ian’s neck to grab Ian’s length and he started to slowly jerk him off, twisting and squeezing softly, just like he did with himself.

“Fuck Mickey,” Ian breathed against his shoulder. Mickey couldn’t even answer him, he was too far gone in his pleasure and he could feel himself getting closer to his orgasm, but he wasn’t going to do this alone. He started jerking Ian off faster, twisting and teasing until Ian finally came, groaning against Mickey’s skin, come on Mickey’s hand and on his stomach.

That didn’t stop Ian’s fingers from moving inside of him though, working Mickey to his own orgasm. When Mickey came, Ian kissed him thoroughly and he felt more satisfied than he had ever been. It all felt too perfect, like he was dreaming. Which let be honest, he probably was.

Or that’s what he thought until Ian’s hand touched his cheek and their lips parted. Ian then chose to stare into Mickey’s eyes and just say nothing, _again_. Which really, was too much to take for Mickey. He could do the touching and kissing thing they had been practicing, but the eye staring? No not really. It always felt like Ian was staring through his soul and trying to figure out the puzzle that is Mickey and it made Mickey both uncomfortable and flattered. But mostly uncomfortable. Also, the piercing stare just played with his feelings even more and that’s something he really didn’t need, so he just looked at Ian’s chest again.

Ian was having none of that, pulling him closer by his chin and kissing him again. Which then turned into the Ian and Mickey kissing fest, they didn’t realize how long they had been kissing, not even when the shower stopped running and they were drying up. Not even when the locker door opened and closed with a loud squeak, not even when suddenly someone was standing right outside the showers.

“Ian?” Ian immediately let go of Mickey, eyes wide. Mickey looked over his shoulder, seeing Victoria standing in the locker room, watching them. Ian turned around, not even caring about covering his junk which kind of bothered Mickey, even though he knew Victoria had seen it more than him. Mickey on the other hand, couldn’t do anything else than cover his family jewels and look shocked.

Victoria was just staring at them, she didn’t even care to look away, she looked mortified and on the edge of crying.

“Victoria,” Ian said stupidly. She raised her eyebrows and watched him, waiting for him to keep on talking but Ian didn’t move. Victoria started crying before she turned around and grabbed both their towels, running out of the building and leaving the door open.

“Fuck,” Ian mumbled.

“She understood, huh?” Mickey said, pushing at Ian’s shoulder as he walked out of the shower and put on his boxers. He pulled on his t-shirt and struggled with his jeans since his legs were still damp from the shower and now he seriously understood why he hated these stupid skinny jeans.

Outside, Mickey could hear Victoria crying and talking to someone. Once he took his bag and turned to walk away Ian called his name. Mickey just ignored him, walking out of the building to find Victoria and Max together. He didn’t even bother to look at them but he could feel Max’s eyes following him until he turned around the corner.

Mickey kicked and slammed into everything he could find on his way home. Old cars, fences, dustbins. For the second time in only two months, he felt this stupid again. He hated himself for thinking that it could be different, that it would change, and that he even did as much as stood a chance. He hated himself for trusting in someone else. For trusting Ian. He hated himself for being just a dirty little secret and for Ian taking advantage on him. He hated everything.

He wasn’t going to cry. Hell he would rather be caught dead than cry because of Ian fucking Gallagher. He didn’t even feel sad. He just felt furious and stupid. Once he came home, he pulled of his coat and bag, walking to his bedroom and slamming his door shut, locking it so Mandy or his brothers wouldn’t come in. If they had to use the bathroom, their fucking bad.

He took his notebook from under his bed and started writing things. He just started writing everything down. His stupid lovey feelings, his stupid actions, how stupid Ian was. He just wrote all of it down until it just got too much. He tore at the pages he wrote, ripping them out of the books and tearing them to hundred pieces.

“Fucking dick,” he mumbled as he threw the notebook – Ian’s notebook – against the wall opposite his bed. He didn’t even bother to undress, or even pull off his shoes. He just slid under his covers and tried to sleep. Ignoring the sea of texts from Ian by shutting off his phone. Ian had some serious explaining to do, but for now, he could fuck off.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter you will read bullying and violence, more information in the end notes if this might in any way trigger you.

On Monday Mickey woke up with the biggest hangover in years and in a room he had never seen before. The room was big and bright. Everything was white with light blue accents and it hurt his eyes. The bed was big and amazing, he felt like all the pain he ever had in his back, had left his body. When he turned around, he found he was not alone.

The guy next to him was beautiful. That was the only perfect description. The blanket hung low on his hips and Mickey wanted to put his hands on those abs to feel if they were actually real. He barely even believed the guy’s face was real. He had a jawline that could cut through anything and dark stubble covering his jaw and neck. His hair was jet black and even his nose looked amazing.

When Mickey turned to look for a clock, one very muscled arm wrapped around his waist and pulled him back. He looked at the guy and knew he was waking up. He started to open and close his mouth and his breathing was changing.

“C’mere,” the guy said as he pulled Mickey against his chest and Mickey felt kind of weird. He had never stayed the night with any one night stand he had. Most of them were in the bathroom of ‘The Fairytale’ or in an alley behind clubs. The warmth of the guy’s body against his was something Mickey could live with. The arm around his waist looked extremely tan against his porcelain skin and he felt the man’s breath tickling in his neck.

“Man I have to go to school,” Mickey mumbled and the guy woke up almost instantly.

“School? What? How old are you?” his voice wasn’t as deep as Mickey had expected it to be. It was soft and nice.

“Relax I’m eighteen alright,” Mickey pushed the man’s hand away and sat up, rubbing his eyes.

“Thank god, you almost gave me a heart attack,” the guy mumbled as he sat up too. Mickey could feel his eyes on his back, could feel that he was being stared at. He finally found a clock too, on the other side of the room. 9.23am. _fuck_.

He stood up to look for his clothes that weren’t there.

“They’re in the living room,” the guy said, knowing what Mickey was looking for. Mickey stood up to walk towards the door and the guy pulled him back by his wrist. The only natural reaction for Mickey was to give him an angry look but that quickly faded when he saw the man’s eyes. They were the most amazing eyes he had ever seen. Green mixed with grey and a copper line around his pupil that almost looked gold with the light hitting his eyes.

“I’ll give you a shirt, you kind of ruined yours,” was all he said as he stood up too and walked towards the big closet on his side of the room.

“Ruined mine?”

“You don’t remember?”

“The last thing I remember is sitting at the bar in The Fairy tale and that’s where it kind of stops,” Mickey sighs, rubbing his eyes and scratching his head.

“We did use protection though right?” The guy smiled and nodded, giving Mickey one of his shirts. It was a basic black shirt with a slight V-neck. It wasn’t something Mickey would wear, but he didn't care. The guy then gave him clean boxers and socks. Mickey put on the boxers and then ran downstairs to put on the shirt and his pants.

The guy came downstairs a few moments later, wearing the same boxers he gave Mickey and holding Mickey’s phone, handing it to him.

“So like, what happened last night?”

“I took you home and we had sex on the couch. Afterwards you put your clothes back on and said you were leaving but you got sick and threw up all over your shirt. I helped you shower and put you to bed where you blew me – which, can I say was the best BJ I ever had – and before I could return the favor, you fell asleep.”

Mickey tried to process it and remember some things but he couldn't come up with anything.

“I gotta go,” Mickey grabbed his jacket and before he knew the guy was standing next to him. Taking Mickey’s phone and saving his number.

“Call me when you’re over him,” the guy – Dylan – said.

Mickey wanted to hit himself. He couldn't believe he had been talking about Ian to a one night stand, he wanted to mentally slap himself. He put his phone away and walked out the door, closing it behind him. He looked around him to find himself in the middle of ‘where the fuck am I’. He had never been here. The street was filled with three stories townhouses and fancy cars. He ran back up the stairs and knocked on the door. Dylan opened it almost immediately and looked a little surprised.

“That was way faster than I thought it would be Mikey,” he smiled and Mickey rolled his eyes.

“It’s Mickey, where do I find the L?”

Dylan moved back inside, opening the door for Mickey to come in and he ran upstairs, coming back two minutes later with a pair of sweatpants and a loose white V-neck. He quickly put on the sport shoes that were standing in the hallway and grabbed his keys.

“What are you doing?” Mickey asked and Dylan pushed him outside, closing the door behind them.

“I’ll drive you to school,” Dylan stepped into the white 2013 BMW Sedan that was parked in front of the house and Mickey followed. He opened the door and was scared to actually sit in it. He was scared he would scratch the leather seats or bring dirt in the car with his shoes. The smell inside of the car was a mix of leather and aftershave.

“Chicago high school probably?” Dylan said and Mickey nodded.

The ride to the school was quiet. Mickey felt a little uncomfortable because he had no idea what was happening. He felt miserable and his head was pounding. He hadn’t even looked into a mirror and didn’t want to know what he looked like. He was hungry, but the thought of eating made him sick. The movements of the car weren’t really helping either.

He checked his phone after a while to find seven messages. Three were from Mandy, asking him where he was and if he was okay. Then another from Robyn, asking the same thing and three from Ian, asking him if he was sick, if they could talk and that he would come over after school.

Mickey didn’t answer any of them and started to recognize the surroundings outside. They were getting closer to the school.

Dylan decided to park right in front of the school and Mickey just wanted to get out of there as soon as possible.

“It was nice to meet you Mickey, you have my number,” Dylan said and Mickey nodded.

“Yeah, right,” he shut the door and walked to the school, not looking back once but hearing the car drive away behind him.

Once inside, he got to the reception of the school and checked in; getting detention on Friday didn't surprise him all that much. The secretary gave him a piece of paper for his teacher and afterwards, he walked to his locker to check what class he was supposed to be in.

“History, great,” he mumbled to himself as he shut his locker. His books were at home so that wouldn't get him anywhere.

When he walked into class, everyone stared at him. The teacher pointed to his seat and when he sat down, people just kept staring. Especially Robyn. She looked at him as if she knew something. Maybe there was something hanging on his face? Or his hair looked totally fucked up. Not like he had checked a mirror at all this morning?

After class, he decided to go to the bathrooms as soon as possible, only to be stopped by Robyn and being pushed into the lockers behind him. She raised one eyebrow as to say ‘speak’ and then sniffed. _She sniffed._

“Oh my God, you got laid?” Several people around them stopped and stared at him, and Mickey was kind of freaked out that she could _smell_ the sex on him, what was she? A fucking dog?

“No! Wait what? Fuck you Robyn get out of here,” he pushed the hand on his chest away and frowned so hard he almost had one eyebrow. 

“Who was it? Please tell me it wasn't him! Please Mick,” of course she didn't fucking stop.

“It wasn't,” he checked his clock and realized lunch just started, he then felt the rumbling of his empty stomach.

“Buy me lunch and I’ll tell,” Mickey said and Robyn smiled toothily.

“Deal.”

♦♦♦

“So call him!” Robyn exclaimed, voice loud enough to draw attention.

“No, what?”

“He’s hot, he’s rich, and he took care of you when he only knew you for what? An hour? He offered you a ride to school and he obviously wants you to call!” yeah, Robyn didn’t know the definition of being discrete. She basically outed him to the four tables surrounding them.

When he looked around, he knew why she was being loud. Ian was sitting behind them, staring sadly and looking into Mickey’s eyes as to see if what Robyn said was true.

“Maybe I will,” Mickey said loud enough for Ian to hear as he turned back around.

♦♦♦

“Mickey, wait!” he was only two houses away from his house. Run to his house? Or let Ian catch up on him? Of course he didn’t stand a chance anyway because that was _quarterback_ Ian; he would run after him if he wanted to and stop him in less than five seconds. So Mickey stopped, not caring to turn around and suddenly, Ian was in front of him.

“Look Gallagher, I’m done with you and your fucking lies. You don’t know what you want, that’s fine but don’t fucking rub it in and make this worse. Go fucking home and get your shit together,” Mickey said and he felt like all the weight left his shoulders. He didn’t even know it was there, but he felt better.

“You didn’t let me explain,” Ian looked tired. His face was pale and his eyes had a soft shade of pink.

“There’s nothing to explain, _Ian_!”

“But-,” Mickey shook his head and walked around him, heading to his house.

“Fuck off.”

♦♦♦

The next day, Mickey knew something was off. He could sense it, could feel people staring at him. Even Mandy noticed because he could see her put on her hoodie and fastening her pace, meaning she was uncomfortable in some kind of way. Once they were only one hall away from his locker, Robyn turned around the corner and flew at him.

“Mickey! Nice to see you,” she grabbed his hand and pulled him back the other way of the hall.

“Robyn I have to get my books.”

“No, first class is English, let’s skip alright? I’ll be a rebel with you, we’ll do rebel-y stuff,” Robyn was acting weirder than she had ever been before. Because first of all, Robyn Adams would never, ever in her life skip any class. She could have been in a hospital with the biggest fever; she’d still try to attend classes. Second of all, Robyn was fucking strong judging by her hand wrapped tightly around Mickey’s wrist. A little harder and his blood flow would stop.

“Robyn what’s going on?” luckily Mickey was stronger. He pulled his hand back and walked to his locker. He immediately wished he hadn’t and Robyn and Mandy were both standing behind him. Mandy held her hand to her mouth as her eyes widened. Robyn just looked like she was ready to sweep Mickey’s body back together in case he might break. Pitiful and sad, Mickey hated it.

On his locker he could read the three large letters, painted in blood red spray paint, wet drops running down onto the locker under his.

_‘FAG’_

Mickey didn’t know what he wanted to do really. Did he want to tear out the small door and hit people with it? Or did he want to break down and cry because now everybody _knew_ and this was still Chicago and he was still a _Milkovich_. News traveled fast. The thought of that made Mickey’s stomach cringe and he felt sick.

“Who the fuck did it?” Mickey said softly.

Robyn shook her head and took a step closer but Mickey walked back.

“Max? It was fucking Max right?”

“Mick, I don’t know just don’t – don’t freak out,” Robyn tried but Mickey shook his head frantically, tears in his eyes and neck flushing with anger.

“I’m going to fucking kill him!” he yelled, hitting his locker hard enough to make his knuckles bleed and he stormed out of the hallway.

When Mickey finally reached the football field, he quickly found the team. They were sitting on the bleachers with a few cheerleaders. Mickey saw Ian talking to Tyler. Max was sitting a few rows lower, laughing with one of his friends.

“What the fuck is your problem?!” Mickey said, loud enough for everyone to turn their heads. He could see Ian’s eyes widen and Victoria and Max were both grinning.

“What’s wrong Mikey? Scared people will find out about your sad crush on the _quarterback_?” Max smiled and Mickey couldn’t believe what he just heard. Stupid crush? That’s what Ian had told them? How was Victoria even defending this, she was _there_ when they were making out, he wasn’t stupid.

“Crush? That’s the best you came up with?” Ian looked scared, almost guilty. The rest of the guys started laughing with him and the cheerleaders were whispering and giggling, pointing at Mickey. He couldn’t stand people judging him like that right in front of him.

“You’re gonna fucking pay for this Johnson,” Max only huffed and laughed as Mickey stormed away, kicking into one of the dustbins and spilling it over two cheerleaders walking by.

♦♦♦

When Mickey came home that night he just wanted to take a blistering hot shower, smoke some weed and fucking sleep. All those things flushed right through the drain when he was met by Joey, standing in the living room with his arms folded and his face angry.

“Joey? How the fuck did you get in?” Mickey threw his backpack behind the couch.

“You know Milkoviches who can’t handle some stupid locks?”

Mickey didn’t answer; instead he walked to the kitchen and grabbed a can of beer out of the fridge. He immediately saw the lack of beers. _His_ beers, which _he_ had paid for. Fucking Joey.

“So y’know, I was about to make this really fucking good deal today. Steroids for one jock of your schools football team. I almost had him y’know, he was gonna pay me a couple thousands, y’know what I could do with a couple of thousand dollars, Mickey?”

“I don’t know Joey you can do a lot with that money,” Mickey was dreading where this was heading.

“Exactly! So I was really pumped y’know, but wanna know what the fuck happened?” Joey started to approach him slowly.

“What?”

“He told me rather not, with my brother being a fag he might be afraid his steroids had aids.”

Mickey was sure his heartbeat skipped a few beats. First, fucking Max buying steroids, yeah this was only the fucking beginning. Two can play that game. Second of all, what the fuck? Who did Max even think he was? He knew about Mickey’s family, everyone knew about Mickey’s family. Max had to know the consequences of outing a Milkovich.

The consequences Mickey now had to deal with.

He didn’t get a lot of time to think because he was greeted by a fist against his jaw.

“He told me about your dirty crush, Mickey!” Mickey received another hit and fell to the ground. His first reaction was to roll up into fetal position and cover his head. He knew he couldn’t fight this back. Joey was two times stronger than him.

“What d’you think dad’s gonna say, huh Mickey? His own son is a fucking fudge packer.”

He finally stopped and Mickey looked at him. He could feel blood running down his chin, could taste the blood on his tongue, felt the inside of his jaw burning and his back was killing him. He didn’t cry. He didn’t talk. He didn’t move. Just watched as his brother left through the kitchen door with an evil laugh.

That was the exact moment Mandy and Robyn stormed through the front door.

Mickey stood up and stumbled to his room.

“Mickey what the fuck!”

Before Mandy could reach him he closed the door in her face and locked it. He saw the pity on both their faces, saw the panic.

Mickey turned against the door and slid down against it, falling limp against the door with his head in his hands. He felt like crying, but he wouldn’t give them that. He wouldn’t give them any satisfaction. He just rubbed his eyes until they stopped itching and winced at the skin around his eye where Joey had hit him.

Max Johnson was going to fucking pay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the bullying is basically Max going after Mickey now he knows about him being gay. Also, there will be violence because Mickey is going to get beat up by his brother, his brother doesn't hold back the gay slurs.
> 
> I think this is a fair warning and this is still a fanfiction, if any of this doesn't feel good to you or if it might trigger something, I think I gave fair warnings and I'm sorry.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE READ THE END NOTES FOR ANY POSSIBLE TRIGGERS, THANK YOU.
> 
> Also, I have a headcanon that Mickey's just a genius in math, therefore I put him in an AP class.

“Mickey please let me in,” Mandy had been begging Mickey to come out and talk ever since he got into his room. Mandy had sent Robyn home and she was sitting on the other side of the door. If it wasn’t for the door between them, their backs would be touching now.

Mickey was still holding a bunch of toilet paper to his nose. It stopped bleeding after a while but he couldn’t breathe through one of his nostrils. He knew his nose wasn’t broken; it would hurt way more and bruise more. Not that he was short on bruises. His left eye was a deep shade of dark purple, almost black and the color blended into the dark blue on the side of his nose. He had a split lip and scratches in his neck from where Joey had pulled his shirt. Right underneath his ribcage he had another big bruise, but he didn’t care about that. He’d easily hide it and he knew his ribs weren’t broken or sprained.

“Look, Mick,” Mandy’s voice was starting to get hoarse, he actually felt kind of bad for her, “I know it’s hard. It’s not only hard it’s unacceptable that’s what it is and I know you feel like the world is ending here but it’s not. Max is a shithead and he needs to be put in place, I can help you with that but please just, just talk to me.”

He rolled his eyes and shuffled away from the door, unlocking the key with a loud click and suddenly Mandy opened it and crawled inside next to him. She gasped at seeing his face but managed to get it together and she waited. She just waited patiently until he was ready. He looked up and met her bright blue eyes. It’s like looking in a mirror, seeing Mandy’s eyes. Except the other things. Her nose and her lips were so different than his. Whereas he had his granddad’s nose, she had their mother’s.

Actually, all of Mandy was their mother. She looked so much like her. He remembered his mother so well. She had Mandy’s face, her hair was very short and her voice really soft. She had a beautiful voice and when Terry wouldn’t be home, she’d sing to them. She’d just sing when she was cooking or cleaning, and quite beautifully so. Mickey and Mandy loved hearing her voice, always asking her to sing. But she couldn’t with Terry. He would tell her she was rubbish or she could forget her stupid high school dreams, and Mickey remembered the light leaving his mother’s eyes every time Terry said mean things. He could see his mother slowly dying inside, unhappy and depressed when she was only 35 years old. All beauty gone under the thick layers of fatigue and unhappiness.

“Oh Mickey,” Mandy whispered, waking him from thought. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and hugged him tightly. In any other situation, he’d push her away and tell her to stop. But now he just felt limp and emotional. God damn when did he get so emotional? He didn’t hug back, though. He just leaned his head against her and let himself be hugged. She smelled nice. Weirdly enough, her scent smelt comforting. It was something he remembered well, like something he knew was safe and something he could trust. He knew he could trust Mandy, and even though he’d fuck up, she’d never treat him like her other brothers. She’d have his back anytime.

“I’m so sorry.”

They stayed like that for a while. They had changed position a little but they didn’t get up. Mickey just let himself be comforted like when he was 11 years old in his mother’s lap. It felt good.

♦♦♦

The next day in school was weird. Mickey didn’t have sunglasses to hide his bruises. And even if he would have, it was just the beginning of March, no need for sunglasses yet anyway. Sunglasses also wouldn’t be able to hide the big bruise running along his nose.

Everyone watched him whenever he’d walk down the hallways or into a class. Teachers just looked unsurprised, it wouldn’t be the first time the Milkovich boy would get into a fight anyway. If only they knew. Mickey was almost sure that they weren’t only watching his bruises. New spread fast in Chicago High School, they were talking about his sexuality more than about his beat up face.

Not like Mickey was doing anything to tell them they were wrong. Because they weren’t, he figured he might as well come out fully; no good could come of being thrown out of a closet and not stand up. It also didn’t really help that he was walking around with four girls and foundation on his eye – which was totally Mandy’s plan, please don’t look like that – and maybe the fact that he was wearing his last one night stand’s white V-neck didn’t help him either.

At lunch, Mickey and Robyn sat on top of the bleachers. Mandy was gone with a classmate to the library and the other girls had practice. Mickey knew what was coming.

“Can I feel it?” Robyn asked out of nowhere, watching Mickey’s eye.

“Feel what?” Mickey scowled.

“Your bruises,” Robyn was already leaning in and raising her hand to his nose, moving her fingers upward on the skin of his nose. He winced a little at the contact of her fingers on the bruise. She examined the skin around his eye and nose and then let go.

“It’s squishy,” she says and Mickey laughed softly, wincing at the pain in his ribs.

“See! There’s that handsome smile I was waiting for,” Robyn smiled and Mickey looked down at his hands, blushing lightly.

“Thanks,” Mickey said softly, smiling genuinely and her face lit up. God she was so beautiful when she smiled.

“I’m not going to ask you anything Mickey. I’m going to give you time and I’m going to let you figure out when you’re ready to tell me, but please tell me when you are, okay?” Mickey nodded.

That’s why he loved Robyn. He felt like shit but that didn’t mean he wanted to talk about it. And yes, maybe talking about it and letting it out would make him feel better but he wasn’t ready for it yet. He didn’t even know if that made any sense but he didn’t care.

“Okay.”

They watched practice after that, Mickey scowled whenever he saw Max and laughed whenever Max failed at something or got pushed. It was childish, but again. He really didn’t care. Ian on the other hand, was confused and made way more mistakes than he should. It all started after he’d seen Mickey in the bleachers, after he’d seen his face.

“Have you heard anything from that Dylan guy yet?” Robyn asked after a while. Mickey shook his head and looked at his phone. He had thought about deleting the number, but on the other hand he didn’t really want to, maybe he’d give it a shot later; maybe not, who knew?

After practice the girls gathered at the bleachers before going to class. Robyn followed Mickey through the hallway, they had the same class and their lockers were next to each other.

The red paint was mostly gone from the lockers, there were still smudges but the word itself wasn’t visible anymore.

“I got a date this weekend,” Robyn said out of nowhere as Mickey was looking for his AP calculus book.

“Really?” it kind of surprised Mickey she had a date. Robyn never really talked about guys a lot. He knew she’d been with guys but he also knew she didn’t like relationships, something about being with someone everyday irritated her she’d said.

“Yeah, he’s really hot! His name’s Jordan, he’s a few years older, I met him at the garage when I brought my car in,” he must be special to make such an impression on her.

“That’s cool, Robyn,” Mickey said, genuinely happy that she’d met someone.

“Yeah I know, so I figured if I can get laid, you should too,” there it was, Robyn shamelessly meddling into Mickey’s sex life – again.

“Robyn what the fuck?”

“You should call that Dylan guy.”

When she said that, Mickey saw Ian passing them, walking slowly to his class with one of his teammates. Mickey knew he was listening, could see his head turn.

“I’ll think about it,” Mickey said. That was enough to shut her up; she looked satisfied and happy with herself. She closed his locker – thank god for quick reflexes so he could pull his hands back – and pulled him towards calculus class.

After school, Mickey walked his usual way towards the L. Mandy went home an hour earlier so he had to go alone. Normally he didn’t mind, but he knew the guys had practice today and he didn’t feel like bumping into Max again.

Instead, he bumped into Ian who was waiting for him on a corner opposite the station. Mickey looked at him and turned his head, crossed the street and climbed the stairs to the platform. He wasn’t surprised when Ian was suddenly standing next to him.

“What the fuck is your problem, man. Stop fucking following me,” Mickey took a cigarette and lit it, blowing the smoke into Ian’s direction.

“I need to talk to you.”

“No.”

“I have to get on this train too and we take the same way home, might as well consider it,” Ian said and Mickey gave him a stupid look.

“What happened to you?”

“Your football friends couldn’t keep their mouths shut ‘s what happened,” Mickey’s voice was filled with hate; he knew Ian didn’t have anything to do with the paint, or his brother but it was just. _Ian_.

Ian was a coward, that’s one thing. He just watched as it all happened, didn’t speak, didn’t help he just fucking watched. Mickey knew he had been talking to Victoria about it since she was on his side, since all she wanted was to bring Mickey down. He knew what Victoria had seen and he knew she wasn’t that stupid. Mickey kind of wondered how Ian had managed it with Max, how he had told Max that no, he wasn’t gay, that Mickey just had a stupid crush.

“Max did this?”

“No, Max couldn’t keep his fucking mouth shut. What the fuck is your problem Ian? Max knows my brother, you know he does! How could you even do that?” Mickey knew he was drawing attention, heads moving his direction, people shaking their heads. He knew what impression he was giving, his tattoo’s and bruises and the screaming in public. He honestly didn’t care.

“I wasn’t thinking?”

“Of course you weren’t, you’re fucking selfish is what you are, fucking scared little boy. Scared your team will hate you, scared to lose your position, scared to actually come up for _yourself_.”

Ian’s face changed from sad puppy to confusion.

“You wanna know what happened? I’ll fucking tell you,” Mickey said, not holding back any of the anger.

“Your friend told my brother things, told him I’m a _fag_ ,” Ian looked pained when the word left Mickey’s lips, “wanna know what my brother did? He hit me, he kicked me, he beat me, and he _threatened_ me.”

Ian was shocked, wanted to speak but Mickey wouldn’t let him.

“My dad comes out of jail; he will kill me with his bare hands.”

“Mick...” Ian almost whispered, Mickey could see he was hurt. He didn’t understand why, though. Ian had nothing to be hurt about, “I’m so sorry.”

“I don’t need your pity, Ian. I need you to stay the fuck away from me and tell your stupid football friends to back the fuck off.”

“I’ll try,” Ian said softly.

“How did you even do it?”

“Do what?”

“Convince Victoria to keep her mouth shut.”

“I promised her something and gave her some answers.”

“What?”

“I promised her I’d go to prom with her,” Mickey laughed loudly. If that’s what it takes to shut a cheerleader up, easy enough.

“She asked me if that’s why we broke up and I told her yes,” Ian looked into Mickey’s eyes, “She asked me if my feelings for you were worth losing her.”

Mickey raised his eyebrows questioningly and Ian sighed.

“I told her you were.”

At that, the train arrived at the platform and stopped in front of them. Mickey huffed a laugh as he shook his head and threw away the cigarette, he then jumped onto the L. Ian didn’t follow, ‘his bad’ mickey thought,  he just stood  there on the platform and watched Mickey standing in the entrance.

“I’m gonna make this right,” Ian said as the doors closed. Mickey scowled at him and walked towards an empty seat. Dropped himself into it and hid his face in his hands. Just when he thought worst had passed, Ian decided to make it worse with these stupid _feelings_.

♦♦♦

When he thought coming home would be a nice thing, he was wrong. Mandy was waiting for him and asked him to join her on the couch which meant something bad was happening. Unless she just had problems herself and wanted to talk about them, which for once, Mickey really hoped it would be.

“Dad called,” Mandy started and Mickey was already pushing himself up to walk away but Mandy pulled him back by his arm. He sat down again and stared in front of him. If she was going to tell him Terry was getting out of jail then he had to pack his bags _now_.

“What he say?” Mickey knew his voice broke when he said it but he and Mandy both chose to ignore it.

“Well let’s say it surely wasn’t PG-13,” she said and Mickey just nodded. He could already feel how the conversation had been going. Terry screaming at her how he knew his son was a ‘ _fudge-packer’_ , a ‘ _butt-knight’_ and whatever word he had on the list of curses. How Mickey wasn’t his son and how he would kill him when he was home. How Mickey better ran before he found him. He could just see the whole scenario and didn’t really know if he actually wanted to know the full conversation.

“Is he?” Mandy immediately shook her head.

“He’s not getting out yet, but jail will call me if he’s getting out. If he is getting out, I called Robyn for you to stay there. Her parents agreed that it was okay and you’ll be safe there, I’ll tell him you didn’t tell me anything and I’ll make sure he doesn’t find you.”

“I don’t want you to stay here alone with him Mands. If I go, you go. I don’t care where you’re going, with me to Robyn or stay with Lip but I’m never leaving you alone with him again.”

They both looked down because they knew well enough what Mickey was talking about. Mickey wouldn’t let her alone because he knew Terry would lay finger on her. Mandy nodded and smiled sweetly.

“We’re kind of really fucked up aren’t we?”

“Yeah we are.”

And somehow, that was a comfort to them. Not that they were fucked up but that they actually weren’t alone in any of this. They would always be ‘we’. Mickey couldn’t actually imagine a world without Mandy, he was happy to have someone normal in his life, someone that would never drop him for anything. Someone he could protect, someone he could love and be loved from without ever thinking that it would end. They had fights, sure. Loads of them. But in the end they ended up on the couch together apologizing or just talked like nothing happened.

He remembered one night when they had this huge fight and Mandy told him all the mistakes he’d ever did in his life. When she just exploded and all the anger her little body possessed just flowed out. It had been rough, and they both stormed to their own rooms that night. But when Mickey woke up that next morning, Mandy was behind him on his bed. Wide awake with tears in her eyes, eyeliner and mascara covering her cheeks. She said sorry and then they just lay there silently, knowing that it would all be alright again.

♦♦♦

The next day went by mostly normal. Of course Mickey still got weird looks, there were even juniors running away from him. He didn’t blame them; he knew he looked kind of scary all bruised up. Robyn told him it looked sexy and she liked to touch it, because she loved Mickey’s pained reactions and she loved how it felt. With any other person, Mickey would think they were a freak or they were crazy, but not with Robyn. Partly because Robyn is a freak and crazy but mostly because he’d just used to how weird she is.

One girl in his world history class actually had the balls to ask him if the rumors were true. Mickey had frowned and asked her what she meant when she asked him if he was really gay. He didn’t answer her, just shrugged his shoulders and stared at her. She smirked at him and told him “cool” before she turned around, swaying her blonde hair, releasing the strong scent of vanilla shampoo.

Everything went alright until the last break.

Mickey and Mandy were waiting for Robyn by their lockers when half the football team walked through the hall. Max was up front next to Ian, they were laughing at some stupid joke when Max looked up and saw Mickey.

“Look who we got here, fresh out of Narnia! Bet it was cold there wasn’t it? Had to be, maybe that’s why you’re so pale,” Max laughed and Mickey raised his eyebrows. He couldn’t believe Max would just come at him like that and _god_ , how old was that guy? Fucking ten?

“Max,” Ian said sternly, but Max ignored him.

“You better shut it Max, I don’t think you want your teammates to know why you know my brother do you?”

Max’s face changed from confident to confusion, followed by anger.

“You wouldn’t,” Max said, Mickey just grinned.

“I don’t know man, it’s just so tempting,” Mickey smiled when Max looked around him, watching his friends. They just stared at him confused.

“You think they’d let you play the big game next month if I told them?”

“Your black eye looks a little sad on its own, maybe I should give you a second one to match it,” Max said, voice full of hate. Ian moved his hand to Max’s arm to pull him back a little, Max just shook him off and suddenly, Max’s fist collided against his face.  

Mandy gasped and stared at Mickey open mouthed. Ian on the other hand grabbed Max by the collar of his shirt and pulled him back.

“Max what the fuck?” Ian yelled as he pushed the guy against the opposite lockers. Max was struggling to get out of Ian’s grip but even without steroids, Ian was stronger. Mickey stood up and stared at Max, challenging him.

“What’s wrong Ian? Don’t want me to hit your _boyfriend_?” Max said, pushing Ian’s hand away from his collar.

“You’re acting like a child, any more fights and the coach will kick you off the team,” Ian said. It kind of stung that Ian did this for other reasons than Mickey had hoped. Max raised his hands as he sign he was going to stop and tried to straighten his shirt from where Ian had gripped it. He grabbed his backpack from the ground and put it on his shoulder.

“I hope they release your dad soon enough,” Max said, voice filled with venom and that was just it. Even Mandy looked like she wanted to kick Max. If she’d have a gun now, no one would be quick enough to stop her.

Mickey on the other hand, didn’t keep it in. He headbutted Max and the guy fell to the ground with a loud scream, hand covering his nose. Mickey could see the blood streaming from under his hand, he had heard the cracking sound and he actually felt better. Mandy was smiling too and Mickey could see the small grin on Ian’s face as he looked at Max’s friends helping him sit up.

“You broke my fucking nose!” Max screamed and Mickey crouched down before him.

“I helped you, your nose was crooked anyway,” Mickey said, quite lucky Max’s eyes weren’t bullets right now.

“You leave me the fuck alone, or I’ll tell your coach the real deal.” Mickey said softly before leaving the hallway, Mandy held out her hand to give him a high five and they smiled. Robyn was waiting on the other side of the hallway, shock on her face.

“Dude I think you just gave Gallagher a hard on,” she whispered as they walked outside and Mickey smiled.

“I hope he’ll enjoy blue balls.”

Both girls laughed as they walked towards their usual spot towards the bleachers. Mickey looked back to see Ian staring at him still.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Possible triggers:
> 
> This chapter contains violence, blood, gay slurs and bullying.  
> (Please keep in mind that this is fanfiction, these are not my opinions and everything's fictional, I think these are pretty fair warnings)


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you Sammy for proofreading this and making me feel way better.

“Mick it’s Sunday, I don’t wanna sit at home all day,” Mandy whined for the third time.

She had been whining all morning, she even woke him up early because Robyn was coming over and Mickey did _not_ feel like waking up early on a freaking Sunday morning.

When he finally gave in and walked into the kitchen he sleepily grabbed some cereal and almost poured some orange juice in it. If it weren’t for Mandy stopping him, he’d actually done it. _That’s_ what Sunday mornings do to him.

So when only one hour later, Robyn rang their doorbell, he had no choice but to get dressed.

“Put on your tracksuit,” Robyn had called after him.

Once Mickey was dressed he threw himself on the couch next to them and they stared at him, eyebrows raised in question.

“I’m not forcing you to stay inside, just go shopping or whatever it is you girls do.”

“Mick,” Mandy sighed, “I’m not leaving you alone right now, the locksmith is only coming tomorrow and you don’t know who might barge in.”

“Mandy,” Mickey sighed back more excessively, “even if they came here, my little sister wouldn’t be much of a help to fight them off.”

Mandy and Robyn both rolled their eyes.

“I know, that’s why you’re coming with us.”

Mickey was about to say no and tell them to fuck off when Robyn shushed him.

“No more ‘No’s’ from you Milky, get your big bubble butt up and come with us,” Robyn stood up and took the empty plates and glasses that were on the coffee table and dumped them in the sink. She then grabbed Mickey’s sneakers and threw them at his feet, throwing his sweater on his head. Mickey knew that he’d never stand a chance when it came to Robyn, and surely not the two of these girls together.

What Mickey didn’t expect was that they were heading to the baseball field – although the sport clothing kind of gave it away. Where both Amy and Kelly were with a few guys of the football team and Ian. _Ian_. Mickey did not feel like seeing him today, he woke up too early for this. He recognized the other guys though, he didn’t know their names but he knew they weren’t with Max’s clique; they were the _non-douche guys_ like Mickey would call them.

Once they walked onto the field, Robyn pulled him into the dugouts and pulled him next to her on the bench, handing him a can of beer out of her humongous bag.

“I don’t get why these guys practice on a fucking baseball field anyway, they play football for Christ sake,” Mickey complained, opening the can and gulping down half of it at once.

“So remember I told you about that date,” Robyn completely ignored Mickey’s complaining but he nodded, remembering her mentioning something about the guy she met at the garage, “well we went out yesterday and he is so cute, oh my god he bought me dinner at this fancy restaurant and then took me to his place where he showed me the car he’d been working on, it was amazing!”

“That’s great, Robyn,” Mickey said, genuinely happy for her.

“Yeah I know right, we made out in the back of the car and then we-,” Robyn stopped talking when Mickey’s hands covered her lips.

“I don’t wanna know,” Mickey said and the eye roll Robyn gave him almost made him scared she would lose her eyes.

“I was going to say reenacted the unforgettable titanic car scene but whatever,” she grinned at Mickey’s disturbed expression.

He liked Robyn; he didn’t need to know how and where she had sex, it made him feel weird. She felt like a sister, and the last thing he wanted to hear was Mandy talking about doing the do with Lip, somehow it just annoyed him. It was the exact same with Robyn.

On the field, Mickey could see Mandy and the other girls laughing. The three of them were dressed in tight warm sporting pants and warming up for something. Mickey figured they were probably going to help the guys with practice or run a few rounds around the field, the usual stuff.

When Mickey took his pack of cigarettes out of the back pockets of his sweats, Robyn hit his hand. He gave her an angry look but she looked way too pleased with herself to care. “We’re going on that field in a few moments and you’re going to do some sport and exercises, no smoking and coughing like a ninety year old after one lap,” Mickey scowled, picked up his pack and threw it in her open bag. “Attaboy!” Robyn grinned.

Only ten minutes later they were on the middle of the field and Robyn was talking to some of the guys. Mickey didn’t even register what they were talking about. He was still tired and he was very aware of Ian staring at him from the side. He had been staring ever since Robyn pulled him on the field. Once Robyn was done talking, Mickey turned his head to Ian, who immediately looked away.

“Let’s warm up,” Robyn said and suddenly she was gone and jogging her way to the side of the field where her friends were. Mickey followed her with one last look at Ian.

Of course warming up for these girls meant doing weird stretching exercises which includes sticking out your ass and boobs every way physically possible and look like a cat in heat. Mickey chose to do the normal exercises he’d learned in gym, getting his muscles started for the agony he’s going to go through in only-

Two seconds apparently because suddenly all the girls started jogging and Robyn waved at him to follow.

“He’s not even going to last five rounds,” Mandy laughed.

“50 bucks I will,” Mickey said and Mandy just grinned at him.

“Deal.”

After his seventh lap, Mickey was wrecked. He ran off the field into the dugouts and scrambled through Robyn’s bag for her bottle of water and his cigarettes, lighting one almost immediately. When he looked up to the field, he saw Ian staring at him again. If it weren’t for all that happened, he’d be kind of flattered that Ian was paying that much attention to him, but now it just annoyed the hell out of him really.

Actually, what annoyed him the most was that it wasn’t just about what had happened between them. It was because Ian still got to him somewhere. Somehow it still felt warm inside whenever Ian looked at him, it made him feel weirdly happy. He still kind of wanted Ian to look at him, still wanted Ian to be on his side, to choose him. It bothered Mickey that he’d gotten so attached to someone that far out of his league. He sometimes even wondered if those few times together were real, or if it was just another one of his stupid dreams.

“Hey,” Mickey almost fell off the bench by surprise. He was so far deep in his thought he’d never even heard Ian come down.

“What d’you want?”

“Just wanted to talk, s’all,” Ian walked closer to sit on the bench.

“Better start talkin’ then cause I have nothing to talk about.”

“You were right,” Ian started, and Mickey finally turned his head, maybe this was going to be good.

“I was scared, I’ve always been. I had everything y’know. I had position, a nice girlfriend, good grades, and a lot of friends, I mean, that’s everything a poor Southsider wants in a high school right? It felt like I had everything I didn’t even deserve to have in the first place and I liked it there. It felt safe and I fit in, nobody once looked down on me for not being rich or driving a fancy car, because they know I’m more than that, I proved them that by making quarterback.”

“Your point?” okay, maybe Mickey sounded like a dick but so be it.

“Everything went alright and then you came along. You, Mickey Milkovich, running into me in the hallway and blaming me for dropping your books. I just knew there was something about you that made me want more, so I kind of set up Lip and Mandy,” Mickey frowned, not really understanding where this was going.

“I knew Mandy would spend the holidays with us, and I hoped you’d be too. I didn’t even know why I wanted it; I just wanted to get to know you. And then on Christmas it just felt so natural, it was like you already were a part of the family, they all loved you. And then what happened in the van, God Mickey.”

“Are you going anywhere with this? Because I remember everything that happened very clearly I don’t need any reminders,” not like Ian would ever choose him over his position anyway.

“Remember the notebook I gave you?” Mickey nodded, “real leather, almost paid 80 bucks for it, you know why?” Mickey, kind of surprised, shook his head. That’s a lot of money for a notebook that was still on his bedroom floor after he threw it to the wall.

“Well not because I’m playing with you that’s for sure. I’m serious about my feelings and you’re right, I’m scared and I acted like a dick, I know that.”

“At least something smart coming out of your mouth.”

“I just want to make it right.”

“Ian you can literally have _anyone_ , wherever you go people love you, why are you so obsessed to make this right?”

“You kind of ruined me for anyone else,” Ian almost whispered. Mickey was shocked to hear him say it, but before he could answer, Mandy was walking down and throwing herself on the bench next to them.

Ian looked at him one more time before standing up and leaving again. He didn’t go back to the field; instead, Ian picked up his duffle bag and walked towards the street, going home.

“You owe me 50 bucks now,” Mickey said and Mandy sighed.

“You wish.”

♦♦♦

School was starting to get weird too. Mickey’s grades were going up which was good, he’d never had grades this good. He also kept hearing about everybody’s plans to go to college and where they were going to go after that, about how successful they would be, while Mickey knew he was kind of stuck here. Because he didn’t have the money for college and he sure as hell wasn’t planning on leaving Mandy. He’d find a job here anyway, he was sure about that.

He knew that Robyn had been accepted to study Law at Harvard. He was genuinely happy that she could follow her biggest dream. Robyn was one of the smartest and brightest people he’d ever met, nobody deserved to be in Harvard more than her. But it bugged him that he’d barely be able to see her anymore. Even though she promised that New Year would still be their thing, it wasn’t really enough for him.

“Mister Milkovich?” Mrs. Jacobs woke Mickey from his ongoing daydreaming; he almost jumped out of his chair.

“Yes?”

“I asked you what Entartete Kunst was.”

“It’s degenerate art, describing the modern art that was banned on German grounds. Hitler didn’t want any foreign influences, only traditional art called Heimat art was allowed, which means love and attachment to the homeland,” Mickey actually surprised himself by knowing that.

“Very well, someone might almost get the idea you’re never paying attention,” she gave him a weak smile before turning around and sitting down at her desk.

“Dude how did you even know that?” Robyn whispered from her seat in front of him.

“I think I read it somewhere.”

After world history, they had a free period. Robyn and Mickey walked to the library together when they saw Max in the hallway. His nose was covered in white band aids and both his eyes were blue. Mickey was proud because that was one hell of a successful broken nose right there. He was surprised that Max didn’t even look at him twice, just turned around when he saw Mickey, looking more annoyed than anything.

When the next break arrived, Mandy was waiting for him by his locker.

“Want to hear the newest story?”

“If I say no you’ll say it anyway so shoot,” Mickey opened his locker forcefully and threw his books inside, slamming it close again and looking at Mandy.

“Ian and Max had a crazy fight on the field at lunch, Brad said that Max was talking shit about you – you know with breaking his nose and all – and Ian totally came up for you,” Mickey really didn’t know why this made her so happy.

“Of course, Max is evil and got back at him, practically outing Ian to the team.”

“Outing him?”

“Well sort of, he kind of implied things and Ian didn’t deny anything.”

“Implied things?”

“Jesus Mickey I didn’t ask Brad the whole script, I’m just trying to make a point here! Ian totally defended you,” she rolled her eyes excessively.

“Whatever,” Mickey said, ready to walk to his next class, he had to reread some notes anyway.

“I’m not done yet!” Mandy said, grabbing his wrist and pushing him back.

“Next Friday’s Fiona’s birthday. I’m invited for dinner and she’d really like you to be there too.”

“No.”

“ _Yes_ , you will get your balls together and come with me on Friday, whether you want it or not.”

“Why would she want me to be there?” Because really? He didn’t have anything to do with those Gallaghers – if one would ignore the obvious of course.

“Ask her on Friday,” she grinned before turning away and walking down the hallway.

♦♦♦

Mickey noticed that Ian was kind of a loner whenever he walked from class to class. He still ate lunch at his team’s table, but he wasn’t sitting in the middle anymore. He was sitting at the corner, eating silently and staring in front of him, not even one smile catching his lips. Not one word leaving them. The only person that he was getting along with was Brad, but even then, he didn’t really see Ian laugh or talk. It was kind of sad to see, really.

On his Wednesday’s calculus class, people in front of him were talking loudly. The teacher was late as usual, giving the students enough time to catch up on latest gossips. The talk of today apparently, was the quarterback.

“Yeah I heard it too, Max told me this morning.”

“He might not play state championship.” He knew the girl who said that, she was the nice blonde girl that helped him with his notes once.

“Is that why he’s looking so off these days?”

“Yesterday, he didn’t catch a single ball, kind of sad if you ask me.”

“All he needs is a tutor, if he gets his grades up he’ll make it, I’m sure,” the blonde girl said.

“I don’t think his grades will help him, I mean, haven’t you heard the rumors?”

Suddenly the three of them turned around to look at Mickey. When they noticed he was aware, they turned back immediately and fell silent. Mickey wanted to react, but he didn’t have a chance because the teacher finally decided to show up.

♦♦♦

On Friday’s practice. Mickey, Mandy, Robyn and Amy were sitting on the bleachers when finally; hell took over on the field.

After Ian missed another hit, Max almost lost it, storming towards Ian and grabbing him by the collar of his shirt. Ian just hung limp in his grip.

“You’ve been missing every fucking ball for the entire week, you’re gonna cost us the championship!”

“Maybe you should try to throw a ball,” Ian suggested.

“Maybe you should try another profession already, I mean come on Ian. You kind of really suck at football, you can’t get your grades right, you don’t really have any talents. Could as well just go go-go dancing at them gay clubs, sure you’ll like that, huh.”

Ian finally pushed Max’s hands away, continuing to push his chest with enough force to make him fall. Max barely registered he was lying on the ground when Ian climbed on top of him and slammed his fist against his jaw.

“You’re a fucking dick!” Ian yelled, other guys already pulling his shirt to get him off of Max.

Ian immediately dived back in, hitting Max again.

Mickey was staring open-mouthed at the whole scene; he could see the team standing around the two fighting boys.  Trying to tear them apart. He could see the coach finally running onto the field, head flushed from blowing on his whistle repeatedly. He could see the cheerleaders holding their hands in front of their mouths in disbelief.

The coach was on Max and Ian immediately, finally able to get them apart by whistling into their ears. Both boys fell back with their hands to their ears. Max rolling on the ground in pain, nose bleeding again.

“Ian, go change you’re suspended until after the state championship.”

“What!? No coach I _have_ to play, I have to!”

“Ian, get off my field _now_!”

Ian shook his head as he slammed his helmet to the ground, only inches away from Max’s face and stormed off the field. Mickey could see the coach helping Max up, it made his blood boil. Even though he and Ian weren’t okay right now, Ian deserved to play that championship. Mickey was going to make sure Ian would be in that game.


	15. Chapter 15

“Mickey?” Ian was standing in the middle of the locker room, emptying his locker into his big duffel bag, only wearing his jeans.

“You’re off the team!”

“I know,” Ian’s voice was both soft and sad.

“You’re not gonna do anything?” Mickey was surprised Ian would give up that easily.

“I talked to the coach already, he said I had to get my grades up and not get into trouble to play anyway. My grades are terrible, Mick, this fight isn’t what cost me the game, he just needed a reason to kick me off,” Ian finally decided to put a shirt on then – thank god – and looked at Mickey. The only thing Mickey could describe from the way Ian was looking at him was hopelessness.

“So Max can play and you can’t? Nu-uh, not happening.”

“Mickey, Max has the best grades on the whole team, guy is smart a whip, it’s scary.”

“He might be smart, but I’m clever,” Mickey mumbled, but before Ian could ask what he was talking about, the door swung open and the coach was walking into the locker room.

“Gallagher,” the coach said as he gave them both a weak nod, “I don’t need to tell you why you’re off the team for now, and I hope you’ve learned your lesson.”

“Yes si-,”

“Coach, this state championship is _very_ important to Ian, I’m sure you know that,” Mickey interrupted Ian.

“As is it for the other students, mister…”

“Milkovich,” Mickey smiled faintly.

“I’m sure you can give Ian another chance, I mean, it’s the first time he’s fought, and don’t they get a warning or two first?”

“If mister Gallagher is able to pull his grades up, I might reconsider, but his mathematics and world history need to be way better than they are now,” the coach looked at Ian, who was still emptying the old socks and towels out of the locker, holding his breath for the smell.

“See, those are my two AP classes. Let’s make a deal.”

“Listening.”

“I’ll tutor him, and if he gets a B- in both classes, he’ll play.”

“B+”

“B,” Mickey said.

“Good.”

Mickey gives him a fake smile and shook his hand.

“You don’t know what you’re getting yourself into, his grades are terrible.”

“Still here,” Ian said, almost falling backwards when he lifted the big, stuffed duffel bag on his shoulder. The coach nodded before turning around and going back to the field again. When Mickey turned around, Ian was staring at him with his eyebrows up his hairline.

“Mickey why are you doing this?”

“It’s Mister Milkovich now,” Mickey smirked, leaving Ian standing by himself in the locker room. He made his way back to the bleachers where Mandy was still waiting for him.

“What did you do?”

“I’m gonna tutor Ian.”

Mandy’s only response was to smirk and wiggle her eyebrows. Mickey ignored her evil grin and walked down the bleachers again to make it on time for his geography class. He heard Mandy following him by the sound her new shoes made. They squeaked whenever she made a stop or hit the floor too hard.  He looked behind him one last time before entering his class. Mandy was still smiling at him, but he knew why. _God he knew._

 ♦♦♦

Next Friday rolled by way sooner than Mickey expected. He agreed to join the Gallagher dinner for Fiona’s birthday and Ian and him had set that the first day of tutoring. So after school, Mickey went straight to Ian’s house.

“I can’t believe you got D- for history, how is that even possible?”

“How should I know what the hell ‘The crash of Wall street’ is?”

“I don’t know, study maybe?”

“That’s what you’re here for isn’t it,” Ian smiled.

“Sure,” Mickey said, grabbing Ian’s history book and holding it in front of his face, making sure Ian couldn’t distract him.

“Tell me everything you know about World War I.”

So Ian started talking about Tommies and Yankees. About Shell shock and trench warfare. About treaties and poppies. About all the basics everybody knew about World War I. Mickey remembered Ian and Mandy doing an assignment on WWI together, but that wasn’t enough knowledge for his exams. So he asked Ian more questions. He asked names, poems, authors, and numbers of casualties. He wrote down questions and made a makeshift test.

“Can I ask you a question?” Ian asked, after about an hour and a half of studying.

“I thought I was the one asking questions tonight,” Mickey sighed, sitting straight on the bed, cracking his back and neck.

“Why are you doing this?” Ian asked again. Mickey had ignored him the last time he asked in the locker room, but he knew he couldn’t escape the question now.

“’Cause I know this game is important to you and Mandy told be about your plans. I know you want to get a scholarship next year and I actually want you to get out there and achieve somethin’ in your life, and you’re only gettin that with better grades.”

“You know, _you_ actually have a chance to achieve something in your life too y’know, you’re pretty fucking smart.”

“Knowledge alone won’t get me a steady paycheck, Gallagher. College is really expensive too.”

“What about sharing your knowledge?”

Mickey knew what Ian was talking about. It’s not something he hadn’t thought about before, teaching that is. On one hand, it was a good job. A lot of days off, just going out there and teach people. He’d take a lot of work home of course, and he’d need way more patience and maybe try to work on his language. Teaching could be a great job for Mickey. And college might be expensive but if he could get a job on the side, it might work.

“I don’t know,” Mickey said.

They studied for another half hour, until Fiona finally called them downstairs for dinner. When they came down, the whole clan was sitting around the table already. In the middle of the table were three big homemade pizzas’s and cans of unopened beers scattered around the table.

“Pizza and beer, classic,” Ian smiled and Fiona smiled right back.

“Nothing beats pizza and beer.”

“I think I just came,” Mickey said when he sat down, looking closely at the three fresh pizza’s in front of him. Ian laughed and sat down next to him, grabbed two slices of pizza and put them on Mickey’s plate.

He loved dinners at the Gallaghers. He loved the conversations that went from innocent and child proof to ‘hold the dogs we need to find Carl’s headphones’. It really was something he could get used to; coming home and being welcomed, that is. Having nice dinners and helpful siblings, Gallaghers seemed like people who would do anything when it came to sticking together as a family.

It wasn’t until dessert that things got weird. Mickey was just enjoying his second piece of Fiona’s chocolate fudge cake when suddenly, Ian’s hand found his thigh. At first, Mickey didn’t react; he just gave Ian a weird look, which led to Ian immediately pulling his hand back. But only two minutes later, when all of them were talking again, Ian tried again. His palm was resting flat on Mickey’s thigh and Mickey didn’t do anything. He kept on talking like nothing happened.

But when Ian’s hand started moving in slow movements, going up and down on his leg, Mickey started to get itchy. Ian’s fingers moved to the inside of Mickey’s thigh, only inches away from his crotch when Mickey gave him another warning look. Ian smirked and his fingers moved closer and closer, basically holding Mickey through his pants. Mickey scraped his throat and pushed Ian’s hand away.

“I think it’s time for me to go home!” Mickey said as he jumped out of his chair.

“Already? You’re not staying for a drink?” Lip asked.

“No I uh…I still have some work for school,” Mickey tried, but Mandy looked straight through him.

“Mick it’s Friday.”

“Exactly, if I do it now I don’t have to worry about it anymore.”

Mandy shrugged it off, eyes constantly moving suspiciously between Ian and her brother. She was kind enough to shut up about it and let it go.

“Well it was very nice of you to come tonight,” Fiona smiled sweetly.

“Yeah thanks for inviting me, have fun at the party tonight.”

“I’ll show you out.”  Ian jumped out of his chair and handed Mickey his jacket. He walked towards the door, closing the door of the hall behind Mickey. Instead of opening the front door for Mickey to leave, he blocked the way, leaning against the door and folding his arms.

“Ian just move,” Mickey sighed, rubbing his eyes with his fingers.

“I’m sorry I did that, I just want to know that it’s not one sided.”

“Move,” Mickey said, more annoyed now.

“Mick…”

“It’s not, now let me go home.”

“Would you kiss me?”

“Right now, I’d rather punch you. I’m no sad little girl, you have to prove yourself, and you’ve let me down more than once already,”Ian looked pained at those words, “now let me through.”

Ian nodded and opened the door for Mickey to leave. Mickey didn’t look back once when he left, but he knew Ian was still standing at the door, watching Mickey until he was out of sight.

♦♦♦

“Milkovich, long time no see,” Jack said as Mickey walked into the alley.

“I need steroids,” Mickey answers, he wasn’t there to make small talk.

“Wanna build some muscle?”

“No it’s for a friend,” Mickey said, getting a little impatient.

The guy nodded and turned to his car, opening the trunk and revealing boxes full of drugs and weapons. He opened a little drawer in one of the boxes showing four different kinds of steroids.

“Which ones?”

“The cheapest ones, he’s not worth the good ones.”

“Ah! I see, Milkovich wants someone to get caught,” Jack smiled.

“Which ones does Joey buy from ya?”

Jack grabbed a small bottle and held it between his thumb and index finger.

“These ones.”

“Great, just give me one bottle and I’m out.”

Mickey left with the small bottle in his jacket and 80 dollars gone from his wallet.

♦♦♦

Mickey and Mandy were on their normal spots on the bleachers, waiting for Robyn and watching the team practicing on the field. Mickey had finally taken his notebook off his bedroom floor and took it back to school. He was reading everything from the beginning to pass the time when suddenly Ian dropped his ass on the bench next to him.

“This is the most depressing shit ever,” Ian sighed.

“What?”

“Watching my team play without me, watching Kühler take my place and absolutely suck at it.”

“You’ll be back on the field soon enough. Actually, you should be studying WWI in the library right now.”

“Shut up I’ve been studying all weekend,” Ian said seriously.

“Hey that reminds me, d’you happen to know Max’s locker code?”

“Yeah it’s his birthday I think, why?” Ian looked confused and kind of shocked that he actually told Mickey what the code was.

“No reason.”

♦♦♦

Mickey was very thankful for Facebook. He soon figured out Max’s birthday and saved it on his phone. He thought out a perfect plan and he could feel it was going to work.

The next morning, Mickey took one train earlier to school and went straight towards the locker rooms. He had figured out a few possible codes with Max's birthday. At the third try, the lock finally clicked and Mickey opened the door.

The locker smelled like dirty socks, sweaty football shorts and shoes. Mickey saw a pair of clean socks and took them. He pushed the small bottle of steroids into the sock, leaving the small green cap visible. He then threw the socks into the back of the locker and closed it again. When he heard the door on the other side of the locker rooms open, he ran back towards the backdoor and went outside.

Students were slowly entering the school grounds as Mickey ran around the building to the front door. He stepped into the locker rooms again, this time walking straight passed the coach’s office.

“Milkovich?”

“Coach, I wanted to talk to you about something,” Mickey said, inviting himself in and sitting at the desk opposite the coach.

“Oh?”

“I understand you suspending Ian off the team, his grades are already improving,” the coach nodded.

“But if Ian is back on the team, I want everyone to get a fair chance at playing.”

“What are you trying to say?”

“I’m sorry if I’m making false assumptions coach, but I feel like some of the guys are using _things_ to maybe help their little workouts?”

“Are you trying to say my boys are taking drugs?”

“I’m just assuming, coach. I just think that some of them are improving physically in a very _fast_ way.”

“I’ll take care of this, all you have to do is make sure that my quarterback is back on the field by next Friday, this Kühler kid doesn’t even know what he’s doing, and I’m starting to remember why he’s a benchwarmer.”

Mickey nodded and smiled before standing up and leaving the office. He knew well enough that his plan was working.

♦♦♦

“There’s no training today?” Robyn asked the next day as she sat down next to Mandy.

Ian frowned as he looked towards all the guys standing outside the building with their duffel bags, each one of them still in their normal clothes.

Mickey saw the principle who was accompanied by three police men. They were asking all the guys to stand in line. The whole team was lined up with their duffel bags in front of them.

 “Can we go closer?” Ian asked. Mickey nodded in response and followed Ian down the bleachers. They then walked towards the field where they could hear what was going on. The three men asked each student to empty their bags, checking for anything weird.

“What the hell’s going on?” Ian almost whispered.

“We did not agree to this, is this even allowed? Are you allowed to do this?!” It was Max, almost screaming as the policeman went through his stuff.

Once the teachers went through all their bags, they went inside with one student each at a time. Most students came out normal, ranting about how they need all the time to practice now, how they were losing time. Others were just laughing because they didn’t feel like practicing anyway.

That went on until suddenly, Max came outside kicking and yelling. His hands were locked behind his back and two policemen were pulling him towards the car.

“I swear I did not put that there! I’m innocent!” the guy almost cried when one of the men pushed his head down as they helped him in the car.

“Max?”

“Yeah,” Mickey smiled. Ian immediately turned towards him, face filled with shock.

“ _You_? You did this?”

“He did this to himself, Ian.”

“You put the drugs in his locker?”

“Well yeah, because I know he takes them. My brother’s his dealer.”

“Be very honest,” Ian started and Mickey shrugged. “Did you make sure he got kicked off the team for me?”

“Maybe,” Mickey grinned.

“Thank you,” Ian smiled.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Side note: No, I do not ship Mandy and Lip, I never did and never will. But in this story, I don't imagine Lip as the dick he is.

Ian had been looking forward to this Saturday all week. Okay, maybe not all week. But he had since Thursday, when he heard Mickey would join him, Lip and Mandy to the party too.

He had done his best to look good, he had even combed his hair back with gel and put on some of the perfume Jimmy once left behind. He was wearing a plaid shirt and jeans; he didn’t look bad at all. Somehow he hoped Mickey would take notice.

“Hey Mona Lisa, ready to go?” Lip said, smirking knowingly at him.

“Shut up.”

 

When they arrived at the Milkoviches, Mandy was already waiting for them at the door. She looked pretty; her hair was wavy and natural, not straightened like it always was. She was wearing a dress and high heels that made her legs endlessly long and she didn’t wear a lot of make-up, knowing that Lip liked her more natural.

She walked down the stairs and hugged Lip, kissing him hello. Ian hated watching them together, they were disgustingly cute.

He hadn’t noticed Mickey and Robyn coming out too. Mickey looked amazing with his hair slicked back and his grey t-shirt. He was wearing skinny jeans – which Ian had never seen him wear – and his leather jacket just made everything ten times better.

Mickey gave Ian a short look, smiling slyly as he walked passed towards Robyn’s car.

“Whoa Robyn! You got new rims on those wheels?” Mickey exclaimed enthusiastically as he walked towards Robyn’s cabrio.

“Yeah, they’re amazing right! I got discount at the garage,” she smirked and Mickey laughed knowingly, as if they were sharing an inside joke.

♦♦♦

They arrived at the club around midnight. The club was still quite empty, but more and more people came in as the night started.

Lip and Mickey bought everyone something to drink with their fake ID’s. They started with shots, just to get the mood in there. The two girls decided on tequila, much to the others despise. Nobody liked tequila, no matter how much you drink it; it doesn’t get better in any way.

It also doesn’t get better once Lip and Mandy pour salt all over each other as an excuse to lick each other off in public.

“So Ian, I heard Mickey’s been tutoring you?” Robyn asked the moment Mickey left for another round of shots and lemons.

“Yeah, he’s helping me to get back on the team.”

“That’s cool,” Robyn smiled as she shuffled closer.

“I have one thing to say though,” she said next to his ear, loud enough for Ian to hear it over the music. Ian nodded.

“Mickey’s crazy about you, like I’ve never seen him like this,” Ian smiled but she put a finger to his lips. “I love Mickey, that boy has been through so much and he needs someone that can handle him, someone who won’t give up on him.”

“You think I can’t?”

“Did I say that? I’m just trying to make clear here, that if you choose to do this, if he chooses to give you a chance and you ‘accept’, I want you to mean it. I want you to promise me that you’re going to make him happy and give him the love he needs. I never want to see that smile falter because of _you_.”

“I’m not gonna fuck this up,” Ian said seriously, staring at her. He was kind of nervous, though. The girl was talking about love and dedication and that were big promises he would be making.

“Attaboy!” Robyn said, patting him on the back as Mickey arrived with a new plate of shots.

Mickey gave Ian the small glass, touching his fingers for a second to long and smiled as he let go to hand the other’s their drink.

 

After another three rounds of shots, Mandy was already babbling and clutching onto Lip as she pulled him on the dance floor. Ian felt a little light headed already; Robyn was probably drunk too judging by the way she was hanging onto an older guy, talking about her life. Mickey was staring dreamily in front of him, definitely tipsy.

“Wanna dance?” Ian asked as he stood up. Mickey nodded and followed.

The dance floor was very crowded already when Ian pulled Mickey into the sweaty crowd by his wrist and stopped somewhere in the middle. To Ian’s surprise, Mickey’s hands were on his hips in no time, swaying them to the rhythm of the music. They danced like that for a while, until Mickey pulled him closer and held his mouth to Ian’s ear.

“What did she tell you?”

“She warned me to not fuck this up,” Ian said, mouth against Mickey’s ear for the boy to hear.

“And what did you say back?”

“I said I wouldn’t,” Ian wrapped one arm around Mickey’s waist then, hand feeling at the skin of his back where the t-shirt was pulled up.

“I think she’d castrate me if I did,” Ian added and Mickey laughed loudly, taking a step back as he let go of Ian.

“I’m gonna get us drinks,” Mickey said and he stumbled backwards, bumping into some guy.

“Hey watch where you go,” the guy said annoyed.

Mickey turned around angrily to look at the guy, but his face fell when he saw the person. He looked both shocked and confused, it was kind of a funny look on him, Ian thought.

“Mikey!” The guy was beautiful. He was tall and muscled, his jawline could probably cut diamonds and his stubble was crazily hot. How the hell did Mickey know the guy?

“Dylan,” Mickey answered casually, not even trying to correct to obvious mistake on his name.

Ian recognized the name. He remembered Mickey and Robyn talking at lunch once, Robyn trying to convince Mickey to call ‘Dylan’ back because he was hot and rich and apparently cared or something. Ian remembered how jealous he felt right then. The jealousy was kind of worse as he was standing in front of the hotness that was Dylan.

The guy was perfect. Ian was sure that if you’d keep him upside down, not a single flaw would fall out.

Ian seriously wanted to shake some flaws out of the guy.

“I hoped to hear from you but seems like you found your guy, right,” Dylan smiled genuinely.

“Huh?” Mickey looked even more confused now, but when he looked at Ian it kind of clicked.

“I hope it works out for you guys,” the guy said, patting Mickey’s shoulder before he turned around and walked into the dancing crowd again.

“What was that about?” Ian asked but Mickey ignored him and pulled at his shirt.

He started to move Ian’s hips again with his hands and Ian followed the directions Mickey gave him. He chose to shut up about what just happened and enjoyed the way Mickey was holding onto him, the way to boy was looking at him. Mickey’s pupils were blown wide from the alcohol but they were full of want. His mouth was half open and Ian loved the way Mickey looked, he was so relaxed and confident.

Ian wrapped both arms around Mickey’s waist and pulled him against his own body. Their hips grinding together. His hand slipped under the hem of Mickey’s shirt, resting on the small of his back. He could feel the drops of sweat rolling down Mickey’s back. They were both hot and sweating and moving to the music and it felt so amazing. Mickey suddenly rolled his hips against Ian’s own and god Ian just wanted to tear his clothes off then and there.

He moved one hand to Mickey’s face and cupped his cheek, pulling softly; hesitantly. But Mickey smiled and let go of Ian, pushing him away gently.

“I’m not going to kiss you,” Mickey said. It sounded more as if he was making a promise to himself.

“Okay.”

“I think I should go home,” Mickey said then.

“Already?”

“Yes, I don’t want to do stupid things tonight,” and with that, the boy turned around towards the table they had been sitting at. Ian followed him and sat down next to Robyn, who was now sitting on some stranger’s lap.

“You going?”

“Yeah tell Mandy okay?”

“Sure.”

Mickey pulled on his jacket and left for the exit of the club, Ian followed him.

“I’ll wait with you for a cab.”

“Aren’t you a gentleman,” Mickey smiled.

Ian called a cab for Mickey as they sat down against the façade of the club. The same wall where they had been making out against only a few months prior. Ian might have been drunk that night but he still remembered it. Remembered the kiss they shared and the cab ride home, they couldn’t keep their hands of each other. Until Mickey had seen the hickey on Ian’s neck and kicked him out.

“I can’t believe I got drunk on shots,” Mickey huffed out a laugh.

“Mickey, we’re okay right?”

“Yeah sure, why not,” Mickey shrugged.

“I don’t know.”

Then the cab stopped in front of them and Mickey jumped up, a little too fast since he was wobbling on his legs. Ian helped him in the cab; he even put his seatbelt on for him.

“Smell nice,” Mickey mumbled and Ian laughed.

“I’ll see you on Monday though, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

 ♦♦♦

The next morning, Ian woke up to the worst headache ever and a sour taste on his tongue. He could feel his stomach turn as he took in the smell of sleep in the room and immediately jumped out of his bed to empty everything that his stomach was holding.

“Need me to hold your hair back, sweetie,” Lip asked as he slapped gently onto Ian’s back a few times.

“I am never, ever drinking tequila again,” Ian mumbled, breathing loudly into the porcelain bowl.

“Okay, keep telling yourself that. Now move, I gotta piss,” Lip laughed and Ian sat down next to the toilet and flushed.

“You’re so considerate.”

 

When he arrived in the kitchen, the smell of eggs and bacon made his stomach turn again. He sat down at the table, opposite Mandy and tried to take everything in through squinty eyes. He hadn’t seen Fiona coming though, and jumped the minute she placed a glass of water in front of him.

“Pills, _now_. You’re one hour late already,” her voice was angry, but Ian knew she was just worried about him. She didn’t like it when he took his medication too late, scared there would be consequences of any sort. He took the pills and swallowed them all at once. He hated taking them, hated the pills in general. They made his hands shake like he was a drunk in rehab, they made him tired if he didn’t get into action right after taking them and they also made him nauseous for a few minutes.

“So Mickey left early last night,” Mandy said.

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

Ian looked at Fiona and Debbie who were standing at the counter. Debbie was talking about her science project and about how she loved the one time where the teacher showed them the dissection of a frog. She almost beamed when she told Fiona they were going to cut up frogs soon. It made Ian kind of scared that it made her happy; she was more like Carl in those ways.

“I don’t know either, we just got close and he wanted to leave.”

“Close?”

“We were dancing and it got pretty, intense maybe? Yeah, it was pretty intense,” Ian smiled, thinking back about his arms around Mickey’s waist.

“You won’t hurt him right?” Mandy asked, sincerely worried about her brother.

“I won’t.”

♦♦♦

“Thanks for helping me,” Ian said as he dropped the duffel bag with training stuff. It was Monday evening and almost all students had gone home, except for the school clubs.

“Yeah, sure,” Mickey said. He looked adorable in the training Ian had lent him, his hands weren’t visible because the sleeves were too long and the pants were rolled up at the end.

“You sure you’re gonna be able to do this?” Ian mocked.

“Dude don’t challenge me,” Mickey smiled.

 

They started with a few light exercises, warming up their bodies before they started running around the field. Ian was surprised by how long Mickey was holding on. They had run almost ten laps when Mickey started to have trouble keeping up with Ian.

Ian didn’t stop, though. He kept running on the same pace he’d maintained for the last ten rounds. He was thirsty and the muscles in his legs began to hurt, but he loved it. He loved the feeling he got when he got to exercise, it made him feel free, it made him feel like he could just let it all out, just by being out there and proving himself that he can do it if he wants it enough.

And that’s just what is was all about, wasn’t it? If you really want it, and you work hard enough for it, and you keep fighting for it, you get results. It wasn’t just sports it was just life. That’s exactly how life works.

If you want it, keep going until you have it.

It didn’t take long until he was catching up on Mickey again. Mickey was already one round behind and he looked wrecked. Ian grabbed Mickey from behind and rolled onto the hard, red ground of the running tracks. Mickey screamed loudly, cursing at Ian as they fell. Ian rolled them until he was straddling Mickey’s hips and Mickey was staring at him, eyes wide and mouth open.

“What the fuck, Gallagher?!”

“You offered to tutor me so I could play the championship, you helped me get rid of Max and got him arrested, and you forgave me even though I treated you like shit.”

“I guess I’m a forgiving person?” Mickey said, rubbing at the elbow he just fell on.

“No you’re not, you’re Mickey Milkovich?” They both laughed softly, because yes, Mickey Milkovich did not forgive easily at all.

“You want me?” It didn’t really come out as a question at all. It sounded more as a preposition but Mickey fell silent and closed his mouth.

“You ask some dumb fucking questions sometimes, y’know that?” Mickey answered before he pulled Ian in by his neck.

Their lips smacked together roughly. It hurt, but they didn’t care. Right now, they just wanted everything they could get, something they both had been craving for weeks now. The kiss involved teeth and biting and it was amazing. Ian would kill to have Mickey kissing him like this every day. He opened his mouth invitingly and Mickey answered immediately, sliding his tongue into Ian’s mouth and the velvet feeling of their tongues sliding together was like heaven and hell altogether.

But the kiss stopped almost as soon as it had started as Mickey pushed him off and smiled.

“Now you get those grades and keep practicing, and you might actually get the real deal.”

Ian jumped up and turned around immediately, jogging away from Mickey.

“I’m on it.”


	17. Chapter 17

“Fucking Gallagher, you tryna kill me here?” Mickey panted, leaning forward with his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath as pearls of sweat rolled from his hair to the ground.

“Come on Mickey, we’re almost there!”

So Mickey ran – more like stumbled – towards the white finish line. 5 miles, he had just run five fucking miles. He was kind of proud of himself, even though all the muscles in his legs felt like they were burning and even though he felt like if he’d cough he’d puke out his stomach, he was fucking proud.

 He fell onto the ground and went all starfish mode as he tried to catch his breath again. Ian dropped next to him, putting a bottle of water on Mickey’s chest. The boy grabbed it and downed the whole bottle in less than twenty seconds.

“Let’s hit the shower, I need to go to the library and study some more,” Ian stood up, pulling Mickey up by his hand. Mickey was sore all over, every movement hurt and Ian smiled at the faces he pulled.

“Yeah you laugh why don’t you.”

♦♦♦

Mickey was waiting on the bottom of the bleachers after school. He knew Ian’s test would be graded immediately and if he passed this one, he would be able to play. It was kind of nerve wracking, even for Mickey, who had spent blood, sweat and tears to make Ian understand four chapters of algebra.

When he saw Ian’s red hair pop out of the large crowd of students flowing out of the school doors, he stood up and waited. Ian was pushing people aside, trying to escape the flood of people. He was holding a piece of paper in the air, waving it as he started running towards Mickey. Mickey didn’t even understand how that guy was still running, even walking for that instance. He had run eight miles that morning, that’s three more miles than Mickey had. And Mickey was wrecked.

“I passed! I fucking passed!” Ian walked right into him, wrapping his arms around Mickey and almost lifting him up out of joy. He was mumbling all sorts of happy things and laughed to himself. When he finally let go of Mickey, he held the paper in front of the boy’s face.

They were all straight A’s. Except for geography, which was a B-, but even Ian’s math and history grades were good. Mickey felt his chest swell with how proud he was of Ian. Also maybe a little bit of himself, because thanks to him Ian had passed the tests anyway, so.

“I’m gonna play championship! I need to tell the coach!” Ian was almost shaking. “Mickey I’m gonna play! We’re totally gonna win and there’s people there, people who might see me and who’ll come look at me next year!”

“That’s awesome Ian,” Mickey said, genuinely happy for Ian. The boy then ran over the football field, still holding onto the paper as he entered the building where the coach’s office was. Mickey slowly followed him. He looked like he had just been taken in the ass by a tree with the way he walked and after what seemed like another marathon, he joined Ian in the office.

“You did a great job, Mickey,” the coach told him as he leaned against the door frame.

“I’m glad to have my quarterback back,” the coach smiled as he patted Ian on the shoulder. The game’s on Friday, let’s hope you’re ready.

♦♦♦

And if Ian was ready. He and Mickey had spent every day together for the last week. After school, Mickey went home with Ian, had dinner at his place and then they studied for about an hour or two. Then, the two of them went to the baseball field – which was the only field where they could practice really – and they practiced for a few more hours.

Mickey never really liked sports, but he found that jogging freed his mind a little bit. Whenever he wasn’t thinking about his muscles twisting and burning in his legs or the fact that his lungs felt like they would dry out, it wasn’t that bad. He remembered one night Ian told him that Mickey had run over three miles and Mickey was fucking proud of himself.

Thursday night, Ian was nervous and walking around like a headless chicken. He had been biting his nails uncontrollably and went to the bathroom every half hour.

“You’re gonna watch me play, right?” Ian asked, pacing in front of the TV.

“Dude, of course I’m gonna watch you play, I didn’t go through all that tutoring shit to then sit at home while you play.”

“Fiona?”

“We’ll all be there Ian, don’t worry about it.”

Ian nodded and threw himself in the couch next to Mickey. In the last week they had been getting closer to each other in a lot of ways. Whereas they would sit at least a few inches apart before, they weren’t now. Ian had lost all definitions of ‘personal space’ and sat about two inches away from Mickey, arm against arm, and leg against leg. It felt new, but good. Everything about this was new but Mickey was really okay with it all.

When Fiona got up and walked towards the kitchen, Ian turned towards Mickey.

“Will you stay the night?”

Mickey’s eyes widened with surprise. He didn’t know how to respond in normal words and frowned before checking the clock. Midnight.

“Just sleep, no funny business, I promise,” Ian added. “I’d just like it if you’d stay, but only if you want.”

“Yeah, sure,” Mickey said, speaking before even thinking it through.

“Lip’s at your house, you can sleep in his bed if you want,” Ian said softly, a little hesitantly.

“I’m fine sleeping in your bed, I don’t mind if you don’t.”

This had been one of the most awkward conversations in his life. Mickey liked the idea of spending the night with Ian, though. He liked the idea of nothing happening but sleep. He wanted to get to know Ian in those ways.

Who knows maybe he’s a terrible snorer or maybe he talks in his sleep and Mickey could get to know things about Ian, like embarrassing things he could use against him. Or maybe Mickey was just making up ideas in his head to avoid the fact that he might have thought about sleeping with Ian a lot. Wondering if he’d like to be spooned or to be the big spoon. Or maybe he’d sleep on Ian’s chest or maybe even totally tangled together.

Turned out, Ian’s bed was so small there was no other solution than spooning. They didn’t even talk about it or anything, they just lay down and Ian put his arm around Mickey’s waist, pulling him against his body. Mickey was kind of shocked at first, but he quickly relaxed and leaned into Ian’s body.

“Thank you,” Ian said sleepily. “For helping me and staying over.”

“Yeah, sure. No problem.”

Mickey was almost asleep when he felt Ian give his neck a light kiss. It was barely anything, just Ian’s lips touching his neck and hovering over his skin, breathing softly onto his sensitive neck. It was the most intimate thing Mickey had ever felt. He smiled as he closed his eyes, sleep finally catching up on him.

♦♦♦

Breakfast at the Gallaghers was kind of a hectic thing. One, there was talking, a lot of talking. Talking about school and about boys and _cats_ and everything that Mickey didn’t care about. Mickey had never been through any of this, his house was silent. There, he would wake up, make coffee, sit in the couch drinking his coffee and mumble to himself how much he hated mornings and get ready. _In silence._ Two, Ian was a wreck. He was nervous, constantly tapping his knife on the table and fidgeting and sighing and just being annoying.

“Ian, it’s gonna be fine, _please_ ,” Mickey said, taking the knife from Ian’s hand. The boy jumped when Mickey touched him but then leaned back into the kitchen chair.

“But what if I fuck up though, like majorly fuck up? I haven’t been in practice for a while and maybe I lost my skills or something.”

Both Mickey and Fiona laughed softly; Ian didn’t take it that well since he was giving them both angry glances.

“Ian, honey. You can’t lose your skill because you don’t go to practice for a few times,” Fiona took Ian’s balled fist. When she held his hand, he loosened his fingers and let her hold his hand properly. Ian looked like a kicked puppy. The normal confident teenager Mickey knew was totally gone. The doubt and nervousness on Ian’s face somehow made him look younger.

“Eat, you need energy,” Mickey said, hand feeding a spoonful of muesli into Ian’s mouth and Ian finally gave him a faint smile.

“You’re stupid.”

 

A little while later they were dressed and ready to go when Fiona tugged Ian back three steps by his collar.

“Ian, I’m not gonna be able to do this every day in your fucking life. Take your damn pills!”

“Relax Fiona; I just have a lot to deal with right now I forgot.”

“Yeah you keep on forgetting these days,” Fiona mumbled under her breath. Ian rolled his eyes and angrily swallowed the pills. He swung his bag around his shoulder and walked out of the house without another word.

“Keep an eye on him Mick; he gets a little droopy after taking them.”

♦♦♦

After a whole day of Ian being the most annoying nervous person Mickey has ever witnessed, the game had finally started. When Ian ran onto the field, the first thing he did was look into the bleachers and search for his family. Ian smiled and waved silly once he found them. The smile was weird and kind of adorable. It was also obviously meant for Mickey, Fiona said.

On the bottom of the bleachers, Max was sitting angrily. He had given Mickey a murderous look when he arrived with Fiona and Debbie. Mickey couldn’t help but smile at him and wiggle his eyebrows just to work on Max’s nerves. When Carl walked behind with a coke, someone pushed him hard enough to spill all his coke on Max and Mickey thought he’d never be able to stop laughing.

Mickey was kind of a loser at football; he didn’t know anything about it. He only knew two words: ‘Touchdown’ and ‘Quarterback’. So Mickey was kind of lucky the whole Gallagher clan seemed to know everything about football. He copied everything they did, from standing up and clapping loudly, to cupping his hands around his mouth and screaming Ian’s name way too loud for his voice to manage.

Towards the end of the game, Mickey’s hands felt sore from clapping and his throat started to hurt a little from all the screaming. All in all, it was kind of a good game. Or at least, Mickey assumed it was because Ian’s team had won.

After the game, Mickey and the Gallaghers moved down to the side of the field where Ian jumped right into Fiona’s arm. He gave her a short hug before moving on to Mickey’s neck. It was different than the hug he’d given Fiona. Ian’s arms were locked around his neck and he pulled Mickey as close as possible, scared that Mickey would shake him off.

“We won! I scored!”

“I know, it’s awesome,” Mickey smiled, locking his own arms around Ian’s waist.

They hugged for a few more seconds before Mickey finally said: “Now come on, go wash up, you stink.”

When Ian nodded and let go, he ran towards the building where the locker rooms were. Fiona, Debbie and Carl were staring at him knowingly, smirking from ear to ear.

“Just shut up,” Mickey said voice too soft to sound serious. Fiona smiled and swung her hands in the air as if she didn’t know what the hell he was talking about. Debbie gave him the eyebrows and Carl just stood there smirking with a half-eaten hotdog in his hand. He looked at the hotdog, confused.

“Ian’s gay?”

 

Mickey went home right after the game. He knew Ian was going to a party after the game, but it was invitations only so Mickey didn’t really have anything else to do but go home.

_(11:08pm)_

_I know you had the party so went home, c u tomorrow ok? Txt me_

 

He didn’t have to wait long before Ian texted back.

 

**_(11:10pm)_ **

**_Boring here, can I come to urs? Gotta tell u smt_ **

 

( _11:11)_

_Sure, doors open, let urslf in_

Mickey decided he’d have enough time to take a shower. He took of the football shirt that Fiona had given him and laid it on the bed; he undressed, threw his clothes in the laundry basket and stepped into the hot shower. He used one of Mandy’s shower gels that didn’t smell like unicorns and orchid flowers and washed himself thoroughly. He couldn’t help it when he spent more than ten minutes longer in the shower. He enjoyed the water way too much, mostly he was always too late to shower and when Mandy went before him, there never was any hot water left.

He realized he was dreaming when Ian startled him awake. He could hear Ian call his name from the living room and almost slipped as he grabbed the towel and wrapped it around his waist.

“I’m in the shower, wait a minute.”

Mickey grabbed the first two pieces of clothing he found in his room: a sweatpants and a white V-neck. He decided to go commando as he put on the sweatpants. He grabbed some socks because he couldn’t stand cold feet and went to the living room.

Ian was sitting in the couch with a bottle of beer watching reruns of South Park. He looked well at home.

“So, what’s the news,” Mickey asked as he grabbed a bottle of beer himself. Once he sat down next to Ian, the boy began to speak.

“Remember when I said that there were gonna be people there to watch some guys on my team?”

Mickey nodded.

“One of them spoke to me! He told me that if I keep playing like this and even improve, I might have a promising career! Or something like that, I mean, he mentioned the word promising,” Ian tried to catch his breath, he was overly excited. “So next year, he said he’d like to come and watch me if I would like and he might even offer me a scholarship! I mean, he didn’t say it like that but what else could it be right? I’m so excited oh my god!”

“That’s really cool, Ian,” Ian’s happiness was contagious for sure, because Mickey was really happy for him. He was glad that Ian had something to look forward to in his future, some goal he could pursuit.

“You’ll come to my games every time?” Ian asked softly. He sounded a little hesitant, maybe even insecure about it.

“I promise you, that I am going to attend every game you’ll ever play, and I’m gonna be in the front row screaming your name until my voice is gone,” Mickey smiled, and Ian smiled back.

“I’m gonna take you on that promise, though,” Ian said, and suddenly his face was way closer than it was before Mickey took a sip of his beer. Mickey grabbed the bottle out of Ian’s hand and put both bottles onto the coffee table.

“I am very okay with that,” he almost whispered as he sat back.

Ian was on him immediately, crushing their lips together roughly. It wasn’t nice at all but they were still getting used to all of this. The need and want was too strong and all they wanted to do was touch, taste and feel. The kisses were hard and full of teeth. They were biting and tugging at each other’s clothes, hands searching for something, _anything_.

Once they were both out of breath, they tried to catch their breaths against each other’s lips, forehead against forehead, nose against nose. It didn’t even feel real to Mickey. Even though he could feel Ian’s breath on his skin, hear Ian’s pants, feel Ian’s body, it just felt unreal. He could finally touch the person he’d wanted for so long, just the way he wanted. He could explore and be explored and it all felt like one of those wet dreams you had at 13 years old.

Mickey could feel the hesitation in Ian’s moves. Ian was playing safe, touching above the waist and barely under his shirt. Every time he moved his hands, he paused, as if he was waiting until Mickey would call him out on it, as if Mickey would say no.

Mickey gave Ian a soft kiss then. It was barely even a kiss, just a touch of lips, hovering and waiting. Ian gave in and kissed Mickey back, slowly this time. They made out for what seemed like minutes until Mickey let go. Ian’s lips were red and swollen, his neck was flushed and his eyes had a dreamy theme going on.

“Just touch me,” Mickey said, taking on of Ian’s hands – which still hadn’t moved one inch from the beginning – and pulling it under his shirt. Ian didn’t hold back once he got permission. He started touching Mickey everywhere he could reach above the waist. His stomach, sides, back, neck, chest and even his ears.

Before they could both realize what was happening, they both got rid of their shirts and Ian was pushing Mickey down on the couch and climbing on top of him. Their lips didn’t part once then, their tongues were sliding against each other, and they were tasting each other like they both couldn’t get enough of it. Ian’s tongue tasted like watermelon gum and beer and everything sweet, and Mickey was sure he was making weird noises in the back of his throat.

When Ian – accidentally – grinded his hips against Mickey’s, Mickey could feel Ian’s erection. They were both hard and desperate, needy to get off.

Ian did it a second time, but this time it was way more obvious. He slid his erection against Mickey’s groin and they both groaned softly, swallowing each other’s sounds in another kiss. The friction in their pants was amazing; Mickey could feel himself leaking already. He had wanted this for so long and it got him way more excited than he should be.

After a few long minutes of sliding, grinding and humping against each other, their pace started to quicken and everything happened all at once. Mickey could feel that Ian was on edge and let go of his lips to watch his face. Ian slid against him one more time and then he came. His lips parted and formed a small ‘O’, his eyes rolled back and he threw his head back. He kept moving though, and Mickey came only a minute later.

Ian leaned down, onto Mickey and gave him one more kiss. They were both catching their breaths again and Ian’s fingers were playing with the short sleeve of Mickey’s shirt.

“I think we should wash this up before it dries,” Mickey said after a few minutes. The silence had felt good, comfortable, but he could feel the wet stain in his pants dry and he really didn’t feel like cleaning up dried come the next morning.

Ian nodded and stood up, leaving Mickey cold without his human blanket. Ian held out a hand and pulled Mickey with him towards the bathroom. He didn’t know if Ian being silent was a good or a bad thing.

“I never knew you to be quiet,” Mickey told him when he handed Ian a wet washcloth.

“I guess you make me speechless,” Ian smiled, his cheeks coloring a soft tone of pink.

Mickey threw his own washcloth in Ian’s face.

“Loser.”

They both laughed, and Mickey hadn’t felt this happy in ages. Finally, something felt right.


	18. Chapter 18

“God, Mands it’s so expensive,” Mickey sighed, falling back into his chair as he stared at the 10 open tabs in front of him. He had been searching around for colleges all day. There was no way he would ever be able to pay for tuition. He had no chance at a scholarship, his mom had only left them a small amount of money on a private account that finally got released when Mickey turned eighteen, but that wasn’t nearly enough to pay both his and Mandy’s education.

He couldn’t do that to Mandy, her biggest wish of studying and getting out of this shithole and getting a steady job would be ruined if he were that selfish.

“Find something close, buy second hand books, steal a damn scooter so you won’t have to pay for transport every day but please Mickey, you need this just as much as I do,” she put a hand on his shoulder and pinched softly.

“I’d rather just rent an apartment for the two of us and work at some garage or something,” Mickey mumbled under his breath.

“I’d rather you and I both have an education and not be fuck ups for the rest of our lives.” With that, she left the living room and got back to making dinner. Maybe she was right, he could do with second hand books, and he didn’t need shiny and expensive books anyway. And if it was close he didn’t have to pay for a dorm, he could come home and check up on Mandy every night, too. He wasn’t sure about the scooter but he could manage to get a car somewhere. It could work.

“Fine,” Mickey mumbled more to himself than anything, but he could see Mandy’s satisfied smirk as she came back to his door and nodded.

He checked the closest college where he could study what he wanted and looked for the address; he might as well go to the school instead of sending a stupid e-mail. He sucked at writing proper e-mails anyway.

♦♦♦

Mandy made Mickey’s favorite dish, eggplant parmesan. She hadn’t made it in forever and Mickey was sure he’d almost come the minute he saw his plate on the table. The smell made him feel like he turned eight years back in time, when their mother would make them dinner.

“So you and Ian,” Mandy said casually, opening a beer for him.

“What about it.”

“How are things going?”

“Fine,” fantastic, impeccable, wonderful, unbelievably good, everything he’s ever wished for. But he wasn’t going to say that out loud, was he.

“Fine?”

“I really don’t know what you want to hear,” he shrugged, pushing at some eggplant with his fork.

“I wanna know if you’re finally happy, actually.”

Mickey smiled, “I am, actually.”

“And I was hoping on some shameless details,” she winked.

“Not happening.”

“I’m just kidding, but seriously. I’m glad you’re happy, Mick. You’re like the one person I know who really deserves to be happy again.”

“Yeah,” Mickey sighed. He was happy, sure. But how long did happiness ever last when it came to him, right?

♦♦♦

School hadn’t really changed all that much. Ian and the team had a lot of attention after winning the game, and Mickey was sure that it was relatively known that they were an item. People gave him looks and pointed at him a lot, but other than that, everything was still kind of normal. Mickey suddenly felt stupid that he ever thought coming out would mean that his whole world would explode, because in the end, no one cared.

Okay, they cared, but only because it was the ‘latest gossip’. The moment everyone found out that a 15 year old got knocked up by a football player, Mickey and Ian’s ‘relationship’ had been long forgotten.

It’s already half May and only three weeks until the finals. Mickey had visited Chicago University and everything went fine. He got accepted and they would send any further info at the beginning of the summer. This could actually really work and Mickey started to look forward to studying, looked forward to his finals, to graduate, to start the summer.

Mickey was searching for his math book in his locker when Ian jumped him from behind. It was purely on reflex that Mickey almost hit him in the face, fortunately for Ian, he had great reflexes too to avoid Mickey’s fist.

“Don’t creep up on me, fucker” Mickey lowered his fist.

“Yeah I’m sorry, not one for surprises, fully noted!” Ian smiled.

“You want something?”

“Lovely to see you too, Mickey. My day’s been great, actually. I passed another history test thanks to someone’s great tutoring abilities and this one guy I like is wearing these amazing jeans that bring out his best features, I’ve been staring at his ass all that.”

Mickey rolled his eyes but he couldn’t help laughing. Ian came a little closer and raised his eyebrows in question. Mickey answered him by leaning forward and kissing him. Ian never dared touching Mickey in public without his consent, as if he was scared Mickey would turn on him. Mickey never did though. He wrapped his arms around Ian’s neck and kissed him. Ian started a little tentative but once Mickey opened his mouth for him, he didn’t really hold back.

There weren’t a lot of people in the hallway and they were hidden behind the door of Mickey’s locker, but soon some girls walked by, giggling. Ian pulled away then, but he didn’t loosen his grip around Mickey’s waist.

“Actually I do want something,” Ian continued.

“I didn’t expect any less.”

“I want to take you on a date.” Mickey was sure that Ian was blushing, it was adorable. Ian went full puppy eyes and sad looks the minute he asked, like Mickey would hit him.

“A date?” Mickey had never been on a date. Well, Mickey never had been in a relationship actually. Wait; was he in a relationship now?

“Yes, go for dinner, watch a movie together, do nice things.”

“I know what a date is, fuckhead. I’m just – no one’s ever asked me on a date before.”

“Does that mean you’ll go with me or not?”

“Yeah okay, but we’re not going to the movie theatre. We could watch a movie at my place.”

“Great! I’ll pick you up at seven, please _do_ keep on those jeans,” Ian smirked slyly, with one more kiss; Ian let go of Mickey again and walked towards the library, looking back once more and winking. Mickey was never going to survive this guy.

♦♦♦

Ian arrived at exactly 7PM, wearing jeans, a green henley and a light jacket, looking great as ever. Mickey had kept on the jeans, but chose to change his shirt to a grey one with a V-neck Mandy had bought him and the leather jacket he had only worn three times.

“So dinner, huh?” Mickey said as he closed the door behind him.

“What do you think about Ethiopian food?” Ian asked.

Mickey shrugged, “never had it before.”

“Great,” Ian grabbed Mickey’s jaw and gave him a small peck on his lip, moving away even before Mickey could realize the kiss had happened. He didn’t know why, but a kiss this small made his stomach feel even crazier than when they made out. It felt more real, more intimate.

“Are you coming?”

“Huh, yeah sure,” they walked side by side towards the L-station, and if they snuggled against each other on the L, no one ever had to know. Mickey sure as hell wasn’t going admit to ever snuggling with anyone.

♦♦♦

They were home only three hours later and Mickey had to admit, Ethiopian food was probably the best food in the entire world, although he might regret it when he had to go to the bathroom the next morning. Ian promised he’d take him for Thai next time, and honestly, Mickey couldn’t wait to do it again. He didn’t know he could feel so good from just _being_ with someone, talking to someone about stupid things like Call of Duty or the fucking royal family of England. He enjoyed every minute with Ian.

That’s what being in love was all about wasn’t it? Oh god. It was. Mickey watched Ian looking through his whole DVD collection and smiled at Ian’s face when he was going through them. Yeah, Mickey was definitely in love.

Ian decided on Pulp Fiction – which seriously, Ian? – And helped both of them to beers and snacks. Mickey wasn’t even surprised how Ian knew where everything was, he kind of liked it that Ian felt at home in the shithole that is Mickey’s house.

“Mandy coming home?” Ian asked half an hour into the movie.

“Dunno, why?”

“I kind of hoped you’d let me stay over,” Ian almost whispered. Mickey leaned in closer as if that answered his question – which was a definite yes – and put his head against Ian’s shoulder.

“Whatever you want,” Mickey said casually. Ian didn’t say anything until the end of the movie.

Once the end credit rolled onto the screen, Mickey sat up to take out the DVD but Ian pulled him back onto his lap. He basically manhandled Mickey until he was straddling Ian’s lap but he didn’t object. Mickey very much liked this new position.

“Say you want me to stay.”

“Seriously, Gallagher?”

Judging by the piercing stare Ian gave him, he was _very_ serious.

“Okay, okay,” Mickey sighed. “I’d like if you spent the night with me.”

Ian’s face brightened up at that and he grabbed Mickey’s face with both hands, kissing him slowly, at first, but quickly changed the pace. They lost time while making out, but the DVD had already changed back to the start scream when they finally parted, out of breath.

“Should we, move this somewhere else?” Ian panted.

“No, nope, not yet.” Mickey gave him a quick kiss. “Just-“

Mickey leaned in to kiss again and slumped against Ian, kissing him languidly. He loved kissing, god he did. He didn’t understand why he never kisses anyone before, didn’t even know why he avoided it. It was the best thing ever. Okay, not really. But definitely close.

“Right here,” Mickey panted.

Ian’s lips though, god damn those lips, he wanted to suck and taste them all day, wanted to suck and taste more than just Ian’s lips.

“God, Mick you shouldn’t say things like that.” and shit, Mickey had been mumbling that out loud?

Mickey let go of Ian’s lips and the boy almost whined at the loss of contact. Mickey ignored him and slid off of his lap and between his legs on the ground.

“Off.”

He started pulling at the buttons of Ian’s pants, too impatient to make it work and Ian helped him by pushing his pants down to his ankles. Mickey could see the small, wet stain on Ian’s boxer briefs, could see the contour of his dick and God, he just _wanted_.

He mouthed at the tented fabric and Ian’s breath hitched the moment Mickey touched his dick. Mickey started pulling at Ian’s boxers and Ian helped him by lifting his ass, the boxers joined his jeans on his ankles and Mickey was met with Ian’s dick again. It was just as he remembered it and it made him smile, remembering New Year’s Eve when Mickey blew him on the roof.

It’s different now. He doesn’t know why, but it feels really different. He’s more concentrated for one, and every little sound Ian lets out goes straight to his own dick, the last time he also went straight to business, now he just took his time exploring. He kissed Ian’s thighs, bit and licked and Ian was already a fucking wreck.

The minute he licked the thick vein on Ian’s dick, Ian breathed his name like a fucking prayer. It was beautiful. He moved towards the sensitive head and Ian almost flinched at the sensation. “God, Mickey,” Mickey smiled before taking in the crown of Ian’s dick, sucking softly. When he tongued the slit of Ian’s dick, Ian threw his head back against the couch and sighed, eyes rolling back into his head.

Ian quickly lost control of almost everything as his hands reached Mickey’s head. He pulled and pushed, kept Mickey in place when it felt too good and didn’t want him to move. Mickey could see the spasms in Ian’s stomach and could feel Ian holding back from fucking up into his mouth.

“Hng- fuck, Mick!” Mickey almost smiled around his dick before letting go completely and Ian fucking whined at the loss of contact.

“Fuck into me,” Mickey said hoarsely, and Ian did just that. He didn’t hold back anymore and didn’t break eye contact with Mickey once he started moving. He started touching Mickey’s face, fingers sliding over Mickey’s wet lips. Mickey’s jaw started to hurt and he could feel Ian hitting the back of his throat multiple times, his eyes started tearing up but he didn’t want Ian to stop at all. Loved the feeling that he was the one wrecking Ian.

When Ian came down his throat it was both unexpected and incredibly hot. “Oh god I’m so sorry,” Ian groaned but Mickey swallowed it all without problem. Licking every last drop before letting go. Ian on the other hand, was staring half-lidded towards the ceiling, trying to catch his breath as the tremors in his body subsided.

“I need a minute,” Ian panted. Mickey smiled and sat up again, throwing himself in the couch next to Ian.

After a good five minutes, Mickey was still hard and painful in his own jeans and Ian _finally_ took notice. He pulled up his own pants again before swinging one leg over Mickey, straddling him. He patiently opened Mickey’s pants and slowly started rubbing his hand over Mickey’s tented boxers.

“Don’t tease,” Mickey grinned playfully. Ian pushed Mickey’s boxers far enough to release his dick – which god damn finally – and looked at it. He just held it and looked at it and Mickey had never felt so insecure. Mickey’s dick wasn’t small at all; it was smaller than Ian’s but definitely thicker. And right now it was also red and angry looking from being this hard for that long.

“Fuck, Ian,” Mickey tried and Ian started moving immediately, tugging at a slow pace at first. Ian’s thumb was sliding over his slit as he wet Mickey’s dick with his own precome, making the sensation of the strokes even better.

It didn’t take long before Mickey came all over Ian’s hand and on his own shirt, groaning loudly as he threw his head back to catch his breath. Ian didn’t give him much time to come to his senses. Instead he stood up and dragged Mickey to his bedroom by his hand. They didn’t talk and they both undressed until they were both only wearing their boxers, but it felt good, the silence was comfortable and it was as if their bodies said enough already.

Once in bed, they made out for god knows how long until they were too tired to even move their lips and fell asleep tangled together.

♦♦♦

Mickey woke up to the smell of pancakes and bacon and an empty bed. He smiled when he got up and saw his come-covered shirt lying on the floor next to his bed, remembering last night on the couch.

In the kitchen, Ian was baking pancakes and singing along to a song on the radio. Mickey surprised him by hugging him from behind and Ian jumped and let out a manly scream.

“Hand jobs and pancakes for breakfast, damn Gallagher I might keep you after all.” Ian’s lips turned into a wicked, unreadable smile before the boy pulled Mickey into a deep kiss.

“I can still change my mind if you burn them,” Mickey said against his lips. Ian rolled his eyes before going back to his pancakes and Mickey cleaned the table before setting it.

“So I got accepted at Chicago Uni,” Mickey said conversationally. Ian almost dropped the plate of pancakes that he was holding.

“That’s awesome, Mick!”

“Yeah, I also wanted to ask something.”

Ian sat down and filled his plate with pancakes and bacon but Mickey could see his eyebrows raise in question. “Oh?”

“Well prom’s coming up soon and,” Ian was already smiling and Mickey rolled his eyes. He had never felt so stupid just asking a simple question.

“Wanna go with me?” Mickey asked casually, sure Ian’s face would split in half if he kept smiling like that.

“Yeah, that would be really cool.” Ian leaned over the table to kiss him and Mickey couldn’t help but roll his eyes again. Mickey felt weird after asking, as if he made things official in some kind of way or maybe things would get weird. He didn’t know why he suddenly felt different.

“As long as you don’t get me a corsage,” Ian said a little later, and all doubt Mickey still had about this whole prom and being ‘official’ thing left his body as he laughed at Ian’s stupid comment.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So guys, this is the last chapter.

When the finals finally arrived, Mickey had already been studying for almost a month. He knew he was going to pass, he could basically sing his courses. He was proud of himself, actually.

There were a lot of days when he studied with Ian. Ian would mostly ask question about things he didn’t get, Mickey knew all of that from the year before, and so he didn’t mind explaining. Ian had to pass with good grades anyway if he wanted to get a scholarship next year.

♦♦♦

_“My head’s gonna explode,” Ian whined, throwing his head on his desk._

_“It will if you keep knocking it onto your desk,” Mickey rolled his eyes. He and Ian made a deal; study one full hour, make out ten minutes, food break and repeat. It helped for a few hours, until it didn’t. Ian had the attention span of a fish when he got tired of things._

_Ian stood up from his desk and walked over to the bed where Mickey was seated. He literally dropped himself between Mickey’s legs and let his head rest on Mickey’s stomach._

_“I’m gonna fail.” Mickey rolled his eyes again and hit Ian’s head._

_“No you’re not, now stop whining, ten more minutes and we’re done for the day.”_

_Ian sat back up but instead of going back to the desk, he crawled up the bed, half on top of Mickey._

_“Or we could just skip to making out, call in an early break,” Ian grinned. Mickey couldn’t help but smile too, although he didn’t want to give in. He was about to push Ian off when Ian’s hand slid over his stomach to the waistband of his jeans._

_“Ian,” Mickey tried but Ian kissed him instead, shutting him up._

_His hand quickly found his way into Mickey’s pants and rubbed over Mickey’s soft dick. Their kissing got deeper as he started stroking Mickey’s length into full hardness. Mickey opened his jeans for more moving space and Ian gladly moved his hands under Mickey’s boxers._

_They had done a lot together already; hand jobs, blowjobs, frottage, they even tried snowballing which seemed really hot at first, and it was, but it was weird once they talked about it. So they didn’t._

_Ian already knew what Mickey liked and soon everything got heated and there were just too many clothes. Mickey’s breaths became shorter and he bit into Ian’s lip every time he felt like he was going to moan or do something embarrassing._

_Mickey finally came into Ian’s hands and onto his pants. Ian stopped kissing him and Mickey could see how full and red his lips were, he could see where his teeth had scraped over the delicate, pearly skin under Ian’s lip._

_“Yeah we’re so not studying together anymore, I’m not getting any work done here,” Mickey grinned, still panting. Ian just smirked at him, wiped his hands on his sheets and placed his head on Mickey’s chest. Mickey had just enough energy to tuck himself in again and button his pants, but soon they were asleep, only to be called for dinner an hour later. Mickey smiled when he saw there was already a plate for him._

♦♦♦

During the finals, Fiona had one rule: Mickey and Mandy weren’t allowed in the house. Both Ian and Lip had to concentrate and that meant no boyfriends or girlfriends allowed. Mickey both loved and hated that rule. Loved because he knew that if he saw Ian during these few weeks, there would be no studying whatsoever, and hated because he realized that he kind of missed Ian when they weren’t sleeping together. He really got used to Ian and him sharing a bed.

The first week went by quick; go into school, make the exam, go home, study all night, eat, sleep and repeat. The second week was starting to get annoying and by the third week, Mickey thought he would never be able to hold another pen if he went on like that.

Soon, the exams were over and their whole group and the football team decided to go out altogether, excluding Max for obvious reasons of course. They went to a cheap diner where the main topic was prom and dresses, prom queen and king, who was gonna spike the punch – which obviously, was gonna be Mickey – and more prom drama Mickey didn’t care about.

He kind of worried about what he was going to wear though. It’s not like he owned a suit, he didn’t even own dress shirts with _actual_ sleeves.

Afterwards, they hung out at some fancy lounge bar with beanbags that were surprisingly comfortable once you found the right position. It was a nice evening but Mickey was glad once he and Ian left to go home, followed by Mandy.

“I wish I could go to prom, too,” Mandy sighed as they arrived at the Gallagher house.

“You can go to prom next year,” Mickey stated and Mandy sighed again.

“Yeah I know but all my friends are going this year it’s so unfair, Ian’s only going because he’s your date but he’s the only one staying with me next year,” her eyes widened suddenly. “Oh my god, all my friends are leaving next year, what am I gonna do?”

Ian and Mickey laughed it off as they went to the kitchen to grab some beers, ignoring Mandy’s internal freak out.

“Talking about prom, I don’t even know what I’m going to wear,” Mickey sighed. The only suit he had was the one he wore at his mom’s funeral a few years back, but believe it or not, he had grown since then.

“Can rent a suit? Or maybe Lip has one?” Ian grinned and walked towards Mickey, grabbed his beer out of his hand and placed it on the counter behind him. Then he caged Mickey between himself and the counter and leaned closer. “It’s not like you’re gonna wear it for long.”

Mickey couldn’t help the whimper escaping his lips before clashing them against Ian’s and pulling him into a deep kiss.

“You’re stupid.” Mickey said, before grabbing his beer again.

♦♦♦

“I’m starving,” Robyn whined during lunch. None of the girls – except for Mandy – were eating at all, which was stupid since they were the ones suggesting going for lunch. They sat there stupidly, each with a glass of water and staring into Ian, Mickey’s and Mandy’s plates.

“Then eat.” Mickey said.

“We can’t, we need to fit in our dresses! Mine was already so tight, I could barely close it.” Robyn said in the same whiny voice. Mickey and Ian both rolled their eyes but Mandy made an understanding sound, shoving her plate of salad and chicken to them.

“So my dad hired this amazing limousine, and I figured we could come pick you guys up, too.” Robyn winked and Ian smiled brightly, looking at Mickey as if to ask permission – pretty please? – So Mickey nodded, “yeah, that would be cool.”

 

So that’s how the next day, all of them ended up at the Gallagher house, formally dressed and smiling as Fiona took the picture. Robyn’s dress was beautiful. It was light blue which fit her dark brown hair beautifully. It only had one small sleeve and diamonds covered all over and around the bust. The back was some kind of lace-pattern with diamonds scattered around it and the skirt was long. Her diamond-covered pumps finished the look completely. Even her date had dressed up so they would fit, the color of his tie being the same blue.

Ian was wearing a grey suit that fit him perfectly in all the right places. Mickey had helped him with the thin tie and Ian insisted on making it one of those lame, romantic movie scenes; kissing Mickey as he was tying the thing around his neck.

Mickey was wearing a blue suit, white shirt and black tie. The only suit of Lip that fit him. He felt like a clown at first, thinking the color might be a little too ‘bright’. Ian had kissed him again and told him the suit matched his eyes. Mickey didn’t blush at that. _Not at all_.

Their couple photos were a little embarrassing. Even more so when Fiona asked them to kiss. Mickey loved kissing Ian. He liked it a lot, but not when people were watching.

After taking over what seemed like a thousand photos, the whole group climbed into the limo again, which honestly was a hard job with all the long dresses and high heels. Inside, there were multiple bottles of champagne which each of them enjoyed on the way to the school.

 

Mickey felt like he was dreaming. At the beginning of the school year, he had never expected to end up here. To end up going to prom in a fucking _limo_ with the one guy he’s head over heels with for a long time and his friends. Friends who he was gonna miss like hell next year, when each and every one of them was moving to different states to go to school.

“You ready?” Ian suddenly whispered in his ear. They were already at the school and Mickey nodded absentmindedly.

Out of the windows of the gym building, Mickey saw different shades of blues and purples shine. There was a red carpet in front of the main entrance of the building and a photographer, taking pictures of every couple passing. Together with an assistant who was holding what seemed like a golden cadre.

When they passed, the guy pushed the cadre into Mickey’s hands and told them to just hold it in front of them. Mickey barely had time to smile before the flash went off and the guy took the cadre back.

The building was overfilled with people already, bright colors of dresses coming from every way. Every girl dressed up pretty with their hair and make-up done. Most guys were wearing a suit, or just khakis with a dress shirt. The music wasn’t that loud – meaning you could still hold an actual conversation without screaming – and on the stage, some teachers were setting up the microphones and boxes.

“We all know who’s gonna be prom queen already,” Robyn rolled her eyes as she said it.

“I’m sure she made her daddy pay for it to happen,” Amy answered.

Ian didn’t answer. He clearly knew they were talking about his ex, Victoria. But it was still something he didn’t like to talk about. Victoria clearly meant something to him, and Mickey didn’t blame him for that, knowing that the girl actually helped him when no one else could.

Still, that didn’t change his disliking for the girl. Mickey had recognized her immediately. Her long dark hair hung halfway her back in thick curls. Her make-up looked as if it was done by professionals and her light pink dress looked straight out of the ’14 catalogue from vogue.

Mickey couldn’t believe when he saw that her date was Max. Fucking Max Johnson.

“So, where’s the punch!” Mickey said loudly when he saw Ian balling his fists. Ian had clearly seen Victoria’s date and wasn’t pleased in any way.

“Why doesn’t it surprise me that Mickey’s the one who’s gonna spike the punch,” Robyn said but grabbed his arm as she walked towards the punch table with him.

 

A few hours later, the King and Queen were going to be announced and everyone gathered around the small stage.

It wasn’t a surprise at all when Victoria’s name was called. She stepped on stage and let herself be crowned. Mickey could see how proud she was, it was sickeningly sweet. That girl had been planning this moment for years and years.

Neither Ian nor Mickey had expected Max – fucking Max – to be prom king, but honestly, it shouldn’t be a surprise. Ian’s face turned completely when Max walked onto the stage and got crowned, but when Mickey pinched his hand softly, Ian seemed to relax. 

“Do you wanna get out of here?” Mickey whispered into Ian’s ear, breathing against it playfully. Ian nodded and pulled Mickey out of the gym hall. They _weren’t_ giggling as they walked through the crowd, _not at all_.

They hadn’t touched a lot on the way home; it was both horrible and amazing. Horrible because, well, two _very_ horny teenagers. But amazing because they both knew what was about to come. _Ha_ , _come_.

It’s not like they had talked about having sex a lot. It was kind of a subject both of them tried to avoid. The best way to avoid talking about sex is having sex apparently, so none of them were complaining. But no, Mickey knew well enough that Ian hadn’t gone just there yet with another guy.

Mind him; he had no complaints at all. He loved all the kissing, handjobs and blowjobs. And god the grinding? Ian took it to a whole new level. But Mickey craved to go further and they both knew about their unsaid ‘agreement’. They both knew this was _the_ night. It made Mickey feel like a virgin all over again.

Mandy had been so kind to stay at the Gallagher’s tonight – she definitely knew what was going on – so Mickey was happy to open the door to his house and push Ian against the door. He threw himself at Ian and kissed him deeply when Ian pushed him off without a word.

“No.” he said simply, and moved to the living room. Mickey was confused, to put it lightly, but followed his boyfriend – Jesus, they had to find a new word for that – to find Ian pushing the coffee table against a wall, making space.

“What are you doing?” Mickey sighed.

Ian didn’t answer again; instead he took some CD case from the coffee table and placed it into the big ass stereo Iggy had stolen once.

“You take me to prom but don’t dance with me?” Ian grinned, taking Mickey’s hand and pulling him towards the open space in the living room.

“How unmannerly of you.”

“Unmannerly? What is this, England?”

Mickey had expected some annoying, sappy jazz music to play but instead, Ian chose Placebo’s ‘Days Before You Came’, which kind of took Mickey off guard because Ian _remembered_.

“You…”

“Yeah I did,” Ian smiled and grabbed onto Mickey’s waist. “Dance with me Mickey,” Ian whispered, kissing Mickey’s ear.

Mickey remembered the conversation vividly. They were talking about favorite bands right after two amazing orgasms. When Mickey had told him that he was a fan of Placebo, ever since he heard the song ‘Before you Came’. He thought Ian wasn’t really listening, but tonight shows different.

“I can’t believe we’re dancing in the middle of my living room,” Mickey laughs against Ian’s chest.

“I can’t believe you agreed to do it.”

“Me neither,” Mickey raised his head and stared at Ian. He would’ve honestly called bullshit on dancing with _anyone_. But he just couldn’t bring himself to say no to Ian. He kissed the boy then, dry lips clashing together in a weirdly perfect kiss.

Ian’s hands were already on his hips, but now he started pulling Mickey’s shirt out of his pants, sliding his hands under it. They were warm on Mickey’s skin, big and comforting, holding onto his waist.

Mickey grabbed Ian’s face with both hands before letting go of his lips. They stared at each other for a few seconds, dreamy and dazed. Mickey knew that if he wasn’t going to kiss Ian again right there, he would say something incredibly stupid.

“Where?” Ian panted, lips already red from kissing.

“Bed,” Mickey pulled him towards his bedroom and pushed Ian onto the bed. He was so very happy he didn’t have his twin bed anymore.

Ian kissed Mickey again, licking into his mouth. He tasted like spiked punch and those weird watermelon gums and Mickey couldn’t stop kissing him. He totally forgot about their clothes or Ian’s boner against his groin. He just wanted to kiss and kiss all night.

Although Ian had other plans, judging by the way he was pulling at Mickey’s blazer.

“Off, clothes off,” Ian sighed. They both got up and stood next to the bed, pulling their blazers off along with their pants. Ian insisted on unbuttoning Mickey’s shirt though, like they did in all those sappy TV shows.

“How are we doing this?” Ian whispered, voice sounding close to scared.

“However you want,” Mickey said as he slid off Ian’s shirt.

“Do you want to fuck me?” Ian suggested and Mickey nodded heavily.

“I want you all the ways.”

He pushed Ian on the bed then, and as if this night hadn’t been weird enough, Ian hit his head against the headboard and they started laughing. Ian’s face went serious again when Mickey started kissing down from his chest to his tented boxers.  Mickey almost reached the waistband when he noticed one more thing.

“Okay, these socks need to get off though, that looks ridiculous.” Ian laughed again.

Once the socks were off, Mickey went back to Ian’s boxers and palmed Ian’s length through his boxers. Quickly, both their boxers had been removed too – thank god – and Mickey was stroking Ian’s dick, sucking on the head, like he had done so many times before.

“Mickey, please,” Ian moaned as Mickey sucked. He let go of Ian’s dick and started licking down. He sucked on Ian’s balls for a minute, knowing how much the boy liked it before going on to his perineum. Ian almost jumped off the bed the minute Mickey licked his hole.

“Fuck Mickey what the f—“ Ian’s hands covered his face and his mouth was open wide. Mickey smiled, loving how crazy he made Ian, loved the sounds Ian made.

Mickey licked one finger and slid it inside of Ian, next to his tongue. Ian squirmed a little and made an uncomfortable noise but he didn’t protest, so Mickey grabbed the lube on his bedside table, coated a second finger and slid both fingers inside. Ian whined again and clenched around his fingers. When Mickey finally found his prostate and twisted his fingers, Ian screamed. It wasn’t the ‘oh god yes’ kind of scream Mickey knew oh so well. It was different.

“You alright?” Mickey asked and Ian stared down at him, looking wrecked.

“It’s weird,” Ian said softly.

“Does it hurt?”

Ian nodded frantically and clenched around Mickey again. “It’s not agonizing but fuck it’s just really weird, Mick.” Mickey removed his hand and put it on Ian’s thigh, rubbing there with his thumb.

“It’s okay, we can switch? Did you try it yourself before?” Ian shook his head.

“We can try it another time, alright?” Ian nodded again.

They switched positions then, Mickey moving onto his back as Ian straddled his hips. Ian leaned down to kiss him again. It was short, but just right. He crawled back between Mickey’s legs and grabbed the lube from the bed and coated one finger with it. Mickey automatically opened his legs for Ian.

“You do this to yourself a lot?” Ian asked, kissing Mickey’s stomach. Mickey was kind of taken away by such a sweet, intimate gesture. Just a simple kiss made him fall in love with Ian even more it was ridiculous.

“Sometimes, it feels kinda good after a while.”

Ian nodded and pushed his finger against Mickey’s rim. He was surprised when Mickey took it so well. Soon, Ian was already up to three fingers and Mickey was panting and sweating. He was sure he just looked like a blissed out mess right there with his red face, neck and chest. Ian’s movements were almost practiced, moving inside him like he’d done this for years.

“Please just,” Mickey moaned when Ian’s fingers stroked his prostate again. “Just fuck me.” He sighed.

“Greedy,” Ian smiled and kissed him again; grabbing a condom out of the bedside drawer and tearing it open with his teeth. Mickey grabbed the condom out of his hands and rolled it onto Ian himself, kissing him once before sitting up.

“What are you doing?” Ian asked stupidly.

“I’m going to turn around so you can fuck me.”

“No I wanna see your face,” Ian shook his head so hard; Mickey was scared it was going to roll off. He lay back then and wrapped his legs behind Ian’s thighs and started stroking himself. Ian didn’t do anything. He just sat there and watched Mickey, staring at him like he had never seen something like it before. Mickey had always been a little self-conscious. He wasn’t built like Ian, with sculpted muscles and ridiculous pecs, so Ian staring at him like that made him nervous.

“Do you need help putting it in or somethin’?” Mickey said sarcastically.

Ian got the hint and finally moved into a better position and lubed himself up once more.

The first slide stung a little. It was slow and long and _burning_ , Mickey loved it. Ian moved agonizingly slow and gentle and he went so _deep_ Mickey’s eyes rolled back into his head. Once Ian bottomed out, Mickey let out a happy sigh and wrapped his arms around Ian’s back.

He was about to tell Ian to move when Ian finally pulled back out and thrust back in, faster this time, making Mickey’s toes curl. Mickey pushed his face into Ian’s neck, kissing and biting there, panting against his damp skin.

It was sickingly intimate. Every limb Mickey owned was wrapped around Ian. Arms around his neck and shoulders, legs around his back and thigh.

Ian’s thrusts started a little clumsy but now it was just heaven. He hit Mickey in the right spot with every thrust, making him moan and gasp constantly. He would find his sounds embarrassing if Ian weren’t doing the same. They were both so far gone into each other that they didn’t even care about funny noises or weird talking.

 The heavenly feeling came to an abrupt ending when Ian stopped and whined, pulling out of Mickey.

“Cramp, _fuck,_ my leg.”

“Switch,” Mickey pushed Ian off of him and the boy rolled onto his back next to him. He straddled him and sunk down on his length again, both boys sighing as he bottomed out and started moving up and down.

Mickey leaned forward to kiss Ian’s red and swollen lips and Ian wrapped his arms around him, thrusting up and meeting Mickey’s almost erratic movements. Ian somehow felt impossibly deeper like this, filling Mickey perfectly.

“ ‘m so close,” Ian breathed and Mickey just nodded. He couldn’t do anything else to be quite honest. He was pretty sure Ian had fucked every word out of him and he, too, was pretty damn close. Ian finally paid some attention to Mickey’s dick that was sliding wetly against his stomach. He slid his hand between their bodies and it only took a few stroked before Mickey was coming, clenching around Ian.

After only three more thrusts, Ian came and they stilled. They were both panting messes, completely limp and sated. Ian put a small kiss on Mickey’s head and stroked his back for a few moments.

With Ian’s dick still inside him, Mickey was getting a little uncomfortable, so he sat up and climbed off of Ian, rolling next to him.

“That was…” Ian sighed as Mickey stared at him, he looked happy. “That was amazing.”

“It was.” Mickey agreed, cleaning his own come from his chest with his sheets.

“We should shower.”

Mickey agreed and went to the bathroom to start running the hot water. Ian followed him and pulled off the condom, knotting it and throwing it in the trashcan next to the toilet.

They showered in silence, kissing and touching constantly. It was comfortable like that, and they both knew that words would ruin the moment. So when they got out, they dried each other’s bodies in silence, they got dressed in silence and they got into bed in silence. It was perfect.

A few hours after falling asleep, Ian had gotten up to go to the bathroom and left a cold space behind Mickey, waking him up from his dreamless sleep. He didn’t say anything as Ian got back into the bed when he was ready; he didn’t let Ian know he was awake. He just enjoyed the way Ian wrapped his arm around his waist again and pushed one knee between his legs.

“I think you ruined me for anyone else.” Ian whispered against his shoulder, kissing his neck one last time before falling asleep again.

Mickey leaned back against Ian’s body and smiled. God, did he love this boy.


End file.
